June 2016

1
There’s a Ringing in my Ears
2
Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost
3
Look Who Is Reading Four Paws and 31 Tales
4
Happy Anniversary to Belle and Herman!!!
5
The Scary Boot Chronicles – Conclusion
6
Raccoon Huck and Family
7
Sherlock Herms: In-Between Cases 1 and 2 – Part 2
8
Protect Your Pets During Summer Heat
9
Sherlock Herms: In-Between Cases 1 and 2
10
Jesse’s Butt Wound: The True Story

There’s a Ringing in my Ears

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. At least it was until my mom thought she needed a new ring on her paw phone. Not a ring like hoomons wear on their paws. The kind of ring that makes your ears go flat when someone wants to talk to your hoomon on their paw phone.

My Dad has an old fashioned ring on his phone. He says it sounds like way back when his grandma had a landline phone. I have no idea what he’s talking about. What’s a landline? I don’t really care to know. I don’t like his phone ring, but it’s better than the new one Mom is now using. It yowls. Like a cat.

In fact, to me it sounds like three or four cats, singing the song of our people.

I don’t like it. I have nine fur sibs and there is enough yowling in this house without complete stranger cats inside my Mom’s phone putting in their two cents.

Plus they’re mumbling, so I can’t understand what they’re meowing about. Maybe if I could understand them, I could get them to stop yowling and maybe mew…softly!

I really want to ask Mom why she uploaded the yowling cats on her phone instead of maybe…cows mooing, or ducks quacking… Or birds chirping. I probably would enjoy hearing birds chirp. In fact, I know I would. Read More

Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. At least that’s what I hoped for once I got more experience as a private investigator. I had just completed my first job, The Case of the Dancing Ghosts, and was now on my way to my second case.

Dori and I huddled together with our paws over our ears to block the wind-whooshing sound created by my Ride—a mint chip colored Gen7Pets Regal stroller—as it zoomed through the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal energy gate.

I deliberately kept my back to the control panel to keep from staring at it. The dazzling display of button lights captivated me unlike catnip or any feathery toy, but the control panel hated to be stared at. It was kinda scary.

Stop StaringI also blocked Dori from touching the panel. She had a thing about a particular pink button that would delay us from reaching our destination by ten days per push. On my first case we should have arrived in June, but because Dori pawed it repeatedly, we didn’t arrive until May—nearly a year later! Dori forgot to bring her treats, and our client refused to feed us, and Dori got so starvy, she became sick. Which reminded me… Read More

Look Who Is Reading Four Paws and 31 Tales

Did you get your copy of FOUR PAWS and 31 TALES yet? All the cool cats n dogs n turtles n ferrets among Twitter’s Anipal community are reading it.

FOUR PAWS and 31 TALES is a collection of pet stories donated by members of Twitter’s Anipal community to benefit Four Paws Lifeline, a 501(3)(c) non-profit organization. Their goal is to provide financial assistance to those pet owners who are not able to afford critical care or emergency veterinary care to their furry loved ones. All proceeds from FOUR PAWS and 31 TALES will benefit Four Paws Lifeline. For more information go to FourPawsLifeline.org

IMG_9932

IMG_9933

IMG_9934

IMG_9935

IMG_9936

IMG_9937

Happy Anniversary to Belle and Herman!!!

3rd Annipurrsary songHerman: Today Belle @Frankencat1 and I celebrate our third annipurrsary. Seems like only three years ago when @DanaPixie coordinated our Epic Wedding with a Cast of Thousands!

It was the biggest wedding the Anipal Wedding Planners ever had. In fact, I think our record still stands. Hey–we couldn’t leave out any of our bestest anipal furends! Right, honey?

Belle: Right. Even if it meant Miz Dana had to keep her computer running for three weeks straight to get our wedding photos made. Did you ever send her a check to cover her high electric bill?

Herman: I thought you sent it? So! What do you think of the annipurrsary song I wrote for you?

Belle: Sounds familiar. Like a Beatle song.

Herman: I hear that all the time. *pulls out a newspaper* Our wedding made the International Headlines in our town.

Belle: Yes. All the way to Canada! *pulls out their wedding album* You want to trip down Memory Lane with me and look at our photos?

Herman: Absolutely!

PPSMVkanfp1lCLMyYojXqYSTg_zps553350d1

Dori: Hi Hwermie. Hi Belle! Whatcha doin’?

Herman: Today is our wedding annipurrsary. We are looking through our wedding album, reminiscing.

Dori: When when this?

Belle: Three years ago.

Dori: Why wasn’t I invited?

Herman: Because you weren’t born yet.

Dori: Hunh! If I was borned, would I have been invited?

Herman: Yes, of course.

Dori: Would I be in the wedding pawty?

Belle: Sure.

Dori: Would I be the bride?

Hermie: No, Belle is the bride.

photo1copy3_zps4b8fdb1a

Dori: How bout the groom?

Belle: No. Herman is the groom.

photo2copy3_zps899ba7b4

Dori: Hunh! Can I be da flower grrrl?

Herman: Okay. You can be a flower grrrl.

Dori: Can I pick out my flowers?

Herman: Belle picked them out.

Dori: But what if I don’t like them?

Belle: Yes, you could have picked out your flowers. *rolls eyes*

Dori: How bout my dwess?

Herman: Belle picked out—

Belle: Yes! She could have picked out her dress.

Dori: Could I invite my grrrl furends @Pixie_Tooth and @Fancy_girl05?

Herman: Sure.

Dori: How ’bout my new furend @ErinTheCat1?

Belle: Absolutely.

Dori: How ’bout @HRMeowness Wills — my Pwince Honeysmoochies?

Herman: Yes, Dori. You could have invited them all.

Dori: Oh boy! This is gonna be so much fun!

Herman: *exchanges looks with Belle* Dori, we got meowied three years ago. The wedding is over.

Dori: What? I missed it? How come I wasn’t invited? Yoo said I could be a flower grrrl! Yoo promised! I’m telling Mom! *runs off crying*

crying

Belle: So happy she’s your sisfur and not mine.

Herman: I’ll take three of yours if you take Dori. Consider it a wedding annipurrsary pawsent.

Belle: Honey, you could offer to take all of my fursibs and I still wouldn’t take Dori. She’s a handful.

Herman: And then some. Let’s scamper down Memory Lane and look at our wedding album.

Furends, you’re welcome to join us. Just click on the mewspaper below and visit our Wedding of the Year, all made by the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

 

The Scary Boot Chronicles – Conclusion

053The Scary Boot is gone. So are the crutches. So is my doctor…as he gave me ‘the boot’ and said I’m good to go. I don’t need to come back unless something dire happens.

He didn’t define dire.

He probably should have.

To me, dire is going a whole weekend without chocolate…or pizza.

However, I still need to keep my foot wrapped like a mummy because internal swelling will reoccur for over the next year. Yay!

Also, my foot doesn’t bend well at the toes. I told my doctor this and he asked why I needed to bend my toes. He had me there. I guess I don’t…except when I walk, I limp. And I hate limping. A lot!

Limping brings to mind a reoccurring nightmare of me being chased by photographers in Walmart while I’m wearing my favorite writing pants–covered in cat hair–with my hair huge with humidity, no make-up, and … I’m limping because I’m wearing one sneaker and one high heel.

In reality, I’m in pain. It’s traveling from my foot up through my knees and hips into my spine and up to my neck.

Yep. Limping is a pain in the neck.

Also, if I’m on my feet too much–like unexpectedly walking around a small town art fair with my husband and Bestie when we thought we were going to a weekend Farmer’s Market, but the Market had been replaced by the fair–I’ve noticed my left foot feels squishy. Not frog swishy, but like the bones are being stepped on and splaying. It feels weird. And it hurts.

Did I mention I’m still hurting? Not getting much sympathy here at home what with Ray being a guy and my cats being cats. You gotta know what I mean.

I’m also chronically tired. So much so, that a “good night’s rest” leaves me exhausted. I ripped a page from Grandma’s book and started to go to bed around 8pm because I have to get up at 6am to feed the Wonderpurr Gang, the Wonderpurr stray cats, along with the Wonderpurr Raccoons. They gather in the kitchen and on the back porch by 6 am – seven days a week. I can’t sleep knowing they are waiting for me, thus, I thought going to bed super early would help me feel rested.

It doesn’t.

Here I am, going on two months after surgery, and I’m still sooo tired. I did go to the doctor to have blood drawn, thinking it could be anemia or my thryoid, but nope. I’m healthy.

Damn it!

My nurse practitioner put me on Lexapro. She thought my symptoms sounded like depression.

Yeah! I’m depressed, all right. I’m depressed that I’m limping, with aching feet, aching knees, hips, can’t sleep in late on Saturday like everyone else cuz I have a herd of cats and raccoons all waiting for me to cater to them…blah blah blah, and I’m so tired I can’t stay awake to watch the news.

But I’m a glass half-full kind of girl, so to put a positive spin on this hiccup on my Life Road, my husband, Ray, has taken over shoveling litter boxes, mopping floors, and miscellaneous stuff I usually do, but currently am not in the best of physical ability to do them.

I’m blessed to have him take care of me…even though he puts his own sweet spin on the chores and does them differently than how I do them. While I’m grateful for his help, my cats are somewhat out of sorts since Ray lines up their food dishes side by side when he feeds them, not follow them around the kitchen, sun room and living room while they pick out just the right place to dine…like I do.

I keep telling my cats… See how great you have it when I’m around? Better take good care of me. Look how rough life will be if Daddy is in charge.

IMG_7469

 

 

 

 

 

Raccoon Huck and Family

IMG_9944Huck and Beck and their family enjoy a Father’s Day breakfast in my yard. Huck received extra peanuts from me. He’s an amazing raccoon.

Huck was born blind in one eye in 2011. His sister Helen was born both blind and deaf. She moved to a wildlife rescue sanctuary, but Huck remained with me. I was concerned about him, he was always skinny and an outsider among the other raccoons. Then he met Becky, and happily they had a family. Years later, Huck continues to bring Becky and his family to my yard. Yes, he’s spoiled. He likes to eat his breakfast on my porch in his own water-filled dish. Huck and his family love peanuts. In exchange for feeding them, they keep poisonous snakes out of my yard. Good trade!

Sherlock Herms: In-Between Cases 1 and 2 – Part 2

Previously on Sherlock Herms… In-Between Cases 1 & 2…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood – he had just sent a fan letter business correspondence to his hero, Sherlock Holmes, asking for tips on solving cases (and maybe an autographed photo if Holmes wasn’t too busy) when his sisfur/assistant, the beautiful but trash-basket-rooting Adorapurr aka Dori, showed him a book about the basics of ghost hunting. There were rules to be followed…like getting purrmission to investigate a haunted house instead of barging in and just doing it. Also, there were rules about wearing the proper clothing, like scarves and shoes. However, as neither Herman or Dori wear scarves, and they can’t zoom in shoes, they decide to wing it like they did on their first case.

Then the phone rings, and they are hired for their second case!

And now…In-Between Cases – Part 2

BAKELITE DIVIDER Read More

Protect Your Pets During Summer Heat

TattleCat Chat LogoThe world is such an unfair place. It’s a bright sunshiny day in my yard, but I’m looking at it from inside my house. Something about Heat Index and Upper 90’s. No idea what that all means, but my pawrents are pretty firm about The Wonderpurr Gang not going outside.

In fact…here’s a shocker: Dad, who complains about how many cats Mom has, told her to bring Jesse and Nikolas inside until the heat lets up. They have a cat apartment in the garage, and they’re both panfurs, so Heat Index and Upper 90’s can hurt them pretty bad.

Mom would like all her furkids to be indoor cats, but Opie says “NO!” And if Opie says “NO!” Mom and Dad listen. Actually he’s been saying “NO!” all weekend, cuz he doesn’t like sharing his home with the garage cats…even though Nikolas is Dori’s daddy and Jesse is Peaches’ son and Jack’s brofur. So…Mom has been doing a lot of laundry this past weekend…stuff like bathroom rugs, laundry room rugs…had to trash a nice box she had on the floor in her office cuz Opie said “NO!” and Mom couldn’t make him understand why Jesse and Nik had to be indoors.

This morning Mom scrubbed out the litter boxes cuz they’re getting a lot of action. Frank asked if he could help. Mom always appreciates help, so she said yes. But instead of helping, Frank high-stepped it down the driveway to where the frogs hang out. However the water in that shallow ditch was empty of frogs…so he came back and flung himself onto the garage floor to cool off. Mom had the hose going, and it hissed, so Frank took off around the fence to the back yard where the raccoons hang out. Mom had no help and had to finish scrubbing the boxes by herself.

Back inside with fresh boxes and fresh litter than is supposed to kick Odor ass 24/7…Mom spied Frank by the back door wall, pacing. He wanted inside the house baaaad! And when he came inside and flung himself onto the kitchen tiled floor, Mom turned the floor fan on him to help him cool off…even though Frank didn’t help her clean the litter boxes like he promised.

During summertime when the livin’ ain’t easy…my mom will soak a sponge in cool water, and then soak down Jesse and Nikolas when they’re outside. Frank too, even though he’s a tabby and is inside more than outside these days. Even though they’re cats, Jesse and Nik both let Mom do this. It helps cool them down, at least for a while.

This is a Public Service Announcement: It’s fweakin’ HOT out there! Put down extra water bowls, both inside your house and outside in the yard where critters are thirsty too. At my house we have four plastic construction bins and one kiddie pool going at all times.

Fweakin Hot

And if you don’t want to make Robin Meade on Headline News talk about you…don’t be STOOPID and leave your furkids in the car. They don’t need to go bye-bye in this heat. They can wait for you at home where hopefully you have air conditioning.

Dori Robin Meade

For more information, click Keep Pets Safe in the Heat.

Do you have any tips on keeping your pets safe during this summertime heat? I’d love to hear from you.

Until next week…Stay Cool and Stay Alive!

Purrs! Herman!!!

Sherlock Herms: In-Between Cases 1 and 2

In Between Cases PromoMom? Could I have a refill?” I stood in the doorway of my Wonderpurr Detective Agency, holding my cup. My mom has a coffee bar set up in the corner of her author-office. I’m just starting out so I can’t afford my own, yet.

Hi, I’m Sherlock Herms, a hardboiled detective with grit in my blood. I’d just solved my first paying mystery—the Case of the Dancing Ghosts—two days ago, and I was anxious to solve another. My mom wants to write mysteries, and since I’m her mews, I decided to open my own detective agency so I could learn about solving crimes.

Mom looked up from paying bills. She doesn’t like to pay bills on her author computer…says the financial mojo messes with her creative mojo, but there is no way around it. The old computer has retired due to Microsoft no longer supporting Windows XP. I have no idea what that means…nor do I care. I just wanted more coffee.

“What did you do with the last cup?” she asked. “You didn’t drink it, did you? Coffee will stunt your growth.”

Herman with coffee

“No, I just like how it smells in my office.” Truthfully, I didn’t. But us detectives drink a lot of coffee. I read that somewhere. Read More

Jesse’s Butt Wound: The True Story

Herman 1-ViewNXRemember back when my outside brofur, Jesse, got accidentally shut inside a neighbor’s garage for two days? It was pretty intense. The weather was hot and he didn’t have any water or food. Mom finally got a hold of the neighbors and they sprung Jesse after coming home late at night.

Mom and I thought that was the end of Jesse’s adventure…but it was just the beginning. Read More

Copyright © 2011-2017. Wonderpurr Life Publishing.