July 2016

1
Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost – The Conclusion
2
At The Mew-vees Presents Raccoon with Ice Cream Cone
3
Sweating with Fury
4
TattleCat Chat on Paybacks Are Hell
5
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 5
6
Free Chapter – A Mad Fling
7
Review of Charlie: A Love Story
8
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 4
9
Man Cave Tour
10
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 3

Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost – The Conclusion

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After watching Dori make her singing debut at The Desert Galaxy nightclub, Herman wakes up to realize he’s had a bad dream. Not that Dori’s singing was terrible, but that he was inside the almost famous detective Max Shallowford’s body, and the mobster Sammy ‘The Squid’ Calamari was expecting him to shoot another mobster.

Upon waking, Herman finds himself back in his attic office seventy years in the past. And seated across from him is Charley Feeble, a ghost. Charley tells him he is the real Max Shallowford, but has a pathological form of shyness. Because he feared meeting his clients in person, he hired an out of work actor from Ecum Secum, Nova Scotia to pretend to be Max Shallowford.

The actor was really good. Too good. He fooled everyone, including Charley, by taking over and getting involved with the mob. That landed him in trouble and he ended up disappearing, along with the mobster’s money and his girlfriend. The Squid was more upset about the money than the girlfriend.

The actor also married a showgirl by the name of Vivian who was responsible for scaring Charley to death. He tells Herman, “I called you, Sherlock Herms, to retrieve the missing jewelry so Vivian will stop screaming. She still frightens me, even though I’m dead. However, I now realize that if I can get her to step outside of my house, I may have a way to prevent her from reentering. That’s why I needed you, Herman. I need you to help me get rid of Vivian Shallowford.”

And now…The Conclusion.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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Sweating with Fury

Underpants - Janeson Keeley quote

Had fun yesterday morning. Nearly hit neighbor’s puppy. Then its twin chased my car to the busy road. Had to turn around, go back, ring doorbell. They were home – garage door open with several cars in driveway, but they couldn’t be bothered to answer bell. I rang like I was kinda furious.

Maybe that’s why they didn’t answer. Hm.

Chased the dogs down. Put one over the stoopid tiny makeshift fence while its twin joyfully showed me how they got out by getting back in — the “gate” is tipped and they can jump it.

I’m now sweating through my underwear and still need to take Peaches to the vet for a severe respiratory infection. My POS van has no air. So window is down (only one works and it’s not on the driver side) and while I drive to the vet, I write furious anonymous notes to put in their mail box.

I threaten to leave dog carcass on their front doorstep after I find it dead on the road. I tell them next time I will just load the dogs into my car and take them to the pound. Better they get euthanized than suffer at their lousy hands. I tell them there is a dog fighting ring in the neighborhood. I tell them to answer their effing doorbell!

This is not the first time I’ve had to stop to put their dogs back in their yard. These people have a reputation for not taking care of their pets.

I’m burning with fury by the time I get to the vet because my underwear is now sweaty.

I get meds for Peaches and meds for Noah, my feral stray who also has a respiratory infection. I forget all about my fury while in their air conditioning.

But I remember on the way home since I’m again sweaty. I think sweat brings out the manic animal crusader in me.

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This time I write the note in my head and decide to not mention dead carcass and pound. I decide if I see the pups again on the road, I will call Animal Control. My luck someone would see me popping the pups into my car and accuse me of being a dog-napper.

Back home I pour strong coffee and turn down the air conditioning. Noah ate his medication cuz I hid it inside sardines.

Still writing note in my head.

I’m proud of myself for removing the swearwords from this post.

Have a sweat-free day!

Kim

Drinking all day

TattleCat Chat on Paybacks Are Hell

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr Weekend at my house, the place where I live. It’s been averaging 98 degrees with a heat index of 100+ so of course Dad decided the master bedroom had to be relocated from the upstairs where it’s always hot and costs a fortune to chill because the room is so big, to the smaller room downstairs that Mom uses for her office.

He decided Mom should move her office into the open dining room since no one ever dines in there. The whole shift of furniture is now in progress with the noisy carpet cleaning machine sopping up the carpets with wet stuff, and lots of grunts and swearing while my pawrents shove heavy desks and cabinets from room to room.

At our  house we thrive on Change. If nothing Changes for awhile, we all get kinda crabby and do something stoopid like…adopt another cat.

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Yup. Candy is the latest mempurr of the Wonderpurr Gang. Dad shudda thought about moving the bedroom when summer first started, but now we’re stuck with her.

Or rather, Dori is stuck with her.

See, when Dori was a kitten she had endless energy. END. LESS. And she took a liking to me right away, which meant I got the full brunt of her END. LESS. ENERGY.

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But now Candy has her eye on Dori. Candy is 12 months. Dori is 3.

Dori has been begging to sleep in the Man Cat Cave with me to avoid being kept up all night.

Dori ExhaustedI’m mature enough to feel sorry for my little sisfur, but… Paybacks are hell!

I hope you have a Wonderpurr Week!

Be sure to stop back on Friday to join us for another chapter in our Sherlock Herms Purranormal Adventures.

Purrs! Herman!!!

 

 

Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 5

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After Sherlock Herms enjoys a play break with his sisfur-slash-assistant, Detective Dori, he falls asleep and dreams he’s at the Desert Galaxy casino, seated at a table with Loud Lady and her Not Friend, Elouise. They are joined by the notorious gangster, Sammy ‘The Squid’ Calamari, who was rumored to be responsible for the mysterious disappearance of the almost famous hardboiled detective Maxwell Shallowford.

Just as Herman realizes he’s not a cat in his dream, but rather inside Max Shallowford’s body, The Squid gives him a briefcase filled with thousands of dollars. He tells Herman-slash-Max that he is to ‘plug’ another gangster by the name of Lenny the Loser.

Herman is quietly freaking in his navy pinstripe suit pants and his two tone shoes when he notices a man at the next table, glowing. Yup. Glowing like the sun is shining brightly down on top of his balding head. He tells Herman not to be afraid, and introduces himself. He’s Charles Feeble. Dori’s Charley! He also tells Herman, in order for him to understand what happened to Max Shallowford, he is experiencing a memory from the detective’s life. Herman wants to know who he is. Herman has many questions, but Charley tells him…

“That’s not important right now. When you awake, I will explain. But for now, let’s enjoy the show. Shall we?” He abruptly stood up to applaud, along with Sammy Calamari and the rest of the people at the nightclub.

“And now,” a voice said over a loud speaker, “please welcome to the Desert Galaxy… Miss Adora Purr singing her new hit song, Purrple Underpants!”

Herman swings his gaze to the bandstand where he sees his little sisfur step on stage.

What the Friskies!

And now…Part 5.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER Read More

Free Chapter – A Mad Fling

TattleCat Chat Logo

 

Hi pals! It’s TattleCat Tuesday and I have something to celebrate.

Today…well, the day I’m writing this…I reached 10,000 Followers on Twitter.

It took me 1,724 days to reach it as I joined the Anipals on Octopurr 28, 2011. I’m so happy to have met so many wonderpurr furends, and their hoomons.

Anyway, to celebrate I thought I would rip a chapter out of the summertime book my mom and I wrote called A Mad Fling and share it with you. I hope you enjoy. And if you do, please stop back on Friday for read the next installment on Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries.

And now…without further adieu…

A MAD FLING

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Review of Charlie: A Love Story

514t0ZrDZELI am a cat person, and I do not garden. With that said, I truly enjoyed Charlie: A Love Story!

It’s Barbara Lampert’s heart that drew me through the pages. I walked with her through Charlie’s journey, and I enjoyed reading about her love of gardening, used as a respite from her roller coaster of worry over Charlie’s decline in health.

This story is told with a surplus of love for her dog that lingers on despite the years that have passed. It’s not one of those gut-wrenching stories where we agonize along with the author. Instead its a tribute to a dog whose love for his companion kept him by her side for as long as he possibly could stay. And its a tribute of an animal caregiver who went to the ends of earth to give her best friend the best of everything she could afford.

I truly loved this story, and I highly recommend it.

Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 4

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

Mrs Shallowford's GhostWhen Loud Lady’s friend Elouise (who is really not her friend because she rolls her eyes behind her back) arrives carrying a big purse, Sherlock Herms watches from the stairs as Elouise pours liquor and pills into Loud Lady. Then, while Loud Lady slips into a drunken stupor, Elouise sweeps through the house, putting stuff in her big purse, including the Persian cats, and money from the safe.

At least Herman now knows why the Persians had him pee in a potted plant. Their litter boxes were toxic from not being emptied for a very long time. As Elouise prepares to leave, the new housekeeper arrives, and Elouise gives her the order to get rid of the litter boxes. While the housekeeper goes to work, Herman returns to the room that would be his mom’s author office seventy years in the future, but is currently a man’s lounging room in the past. He wants to see if his assistant-slash-sisfur, Dori, is in the attic that would be his detective office in the future. But when he goes to the door, he is shocked at what he finds.

And now…Part 4.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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Man Cave Tour

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. Although the weather has been sticky and stinky, I’ve been keeping cool in my Man Cave.

Actually, it’s my Dad’s man cave, but he lets me use it whenever I want cuz… I’m a man cat.

I was telling my Twitter pals @VanAlikes, @Catrepeneur and @CatmamatoniToni about my man cave and they wanted to see pictures. So, I thought I’d take you on a tour. Read More

Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 3

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal energy gate transports Sherlock Herms and Dori, his sasspuss sisfur-slash-assistant, to their own home seventy years in the past, Dori scampers off to chat with Charley, the person who hired them to find missing jewelry, leaving Herman to conduct his investigation alone.

Abruptly in need of a litter box, Herman panics when he is unable to find one, only to be rescued by two expensive Persians who give him permission to widdle in a potted plant instead of a litter box. He finds that odd, but is desperate. Once refreshed, he interviews the Persians, hoping to learn if they know what happened to the jewelry. However, they avoid answering his questions which makes him suspicious.

Then the doorbell rings, causing the Persians to flee, leaving Herman with unanswered questions.

And now…Part 3.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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