Hi everyone! It’s me, Dori! *wavy paws* Today I want to share with yoo a recipe for making mooshine.
Mooshine is easy to make and is one of the most enjoyable ways to bweak the law. It takes hawdly any time to cook. Yoo can whip up a batch in a matter of minutes. Not only is mooshine a wefweshing beverage that pairs well with red meat, poultry and tuna pizza, yoo can also use it to make yoor lawnmower run.
First of all yoo will need a rustic mountain cabin with a great view for seeing if the gov’mint revenoo-ers are coming to shut down yoor still.
Second of all, you need a huge pot and a blazing fire to cook yoor mooshine.
Herman: Dori! OMC! You set the fire on top of a wooden table. You’re going to burn down the cabin.
Dori: Not to worry, Hwermie. The fire will burn out before the cabin burns down.
Herman: Why is your pot green? It looks like a toxic waste spill.
Dori: Not sure what that stuff is. Hopefully it will burn off. Anyway! Next my recipe calls for corn. My favorite is mew-vee poppy corn, but yoo can use the microwave stuff in a pinch.
Herman: Smells delicious.
Dori: It has extwa buttah. Next yoo will add sugar. My mom calls table sugar “white death” so in place of “white death” I will be using Jelly Bellies.
Herman: *sneaks several orange Jelly Bellies to nom.* Smells like something is burning inside that pot. *covers nose* Aren’t you supposed to add liquid? Like water?
Dori: *checks recipe* Oh! I forgot to add flowers. First yoo add yellow flowers.
Dori: And then you add pink flowers. Stir until thoroughly mixed.
Herman: I’m feeling a little light headed.
Dori: That’s what’s supposed to happen. Now yoo add more wood to the fire so the juice will bubble. This is where the mooshine starts to build it’s flavor.
Herman: Now I’m feeling nauseous.
Dori: Next yoo add the final ingredient.
Herman: What the—! A cow? Dori you can’t cook a whole cow!
Dori: She’s not cooking, Hwermie. She’s soaking to add flavor.
Herman: Looks like she’s doing more than adding flavor. She’s eating your popcorn, Jelly Bellies and flowers.
Dori: Oh no! Stop that, Bessie!
Herman: Just where did you get this recipe for moonshine?
Dori: *blink blink* I’m not making moon shine, Hwermie. I’m making moo shine!