August 25, 2017

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Where Babies Come From

Where Babies Come From

Dori: Hwermie? Do yoo know where babies come from?

Herm: *startled* Why don’t you ask Mom?

Dori: So, yoo don’t know? That’s dissy pointing. I thought yoo knew ev’furrything.

Herm: Well, of course I know.

Dori: *blink blink* I’m waiting.

Herm: Well…

Dori: If yoo don’t know, tell me. Don’t bamboozy me with some fairy tale just to appear smarter.

Herm: I wouldn’t do that.

Dori: *checks watch* Forty seconds into the conversation and still no answers.

Herm: I know the answer. I’m just not sure it’s my responsibility to tell you about the birds and the bees.

Dori: Birds and bees?

Herm: That’s what hoomons call the subject of making babies.

Dori: Making babies? Like tweats in a Smittens factory?

Herm: *swallows hard* Not exactly.

Dori: *checks watch* One minute, thirty seconds.

Herm: Dori, stop. I don’t need the stress of pressure.

Dori: Yoo feel stwessed? Why?

Herm: I don’t want to make a mistake and traumatize you.

Dori: Traumatize? *pulls up a chair* Oh, this is gonna be good! Read More

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