December 2017

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Sherlock Herms Master Detective – Conclusion
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Sherlock Herms Master Detective – Part 9

Sherlock Herms Master Detective – Conclusion

Previously on Sherlock Herms: The Making of a Master Detective…

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7. Part 8. Part 9.

Previously on Sherlock Herms: The Making of a Master Detective – Part 9

“What’s the Chewy.com box for?” I asked Dori.

“Wemember when I asked if yoo knew where babies come from? Yoo said storks. But I knew better. Yes, storks are involved, but they deliver babies that come from Chewy.com.”

“But what does a Chewy box have to do with getting me home?”

Dori assembled the cardboard into it’s box shape. “Simple, Hwermie. Yoo get into the box, and I bwing yoo home.”

“But Mosey moves away when I approach him.”

Dori gestured to the box. “Get in.”

I tried to hop inside, but the damp, soggy English weather had seeped into my old bones and I struggled. Finally Dori tipped the box on its side, I walked in, and she flipped the lid closed. I heard her ask Mrs. Gray for help. I felt the box leave the floor, but then I was jiggled around as Mrs. Gray chased after Mosey.

She finally placed the box on the floor and I rolled out. “It’s not going to work, Dori.”

Instead of tears I saw determination on my little sisfur’s pretty face. “It’s going to work, Hwermie. I’m gonna get yoo home. Or I’m staying here with yoo. Yoor my brofur and bestest furend. I’m never gonna leave yoo.”

And now…

The Conclusion.

At the time her words gave me hope. An hour later they resounded through my hot brain like a vicious threat.

Attempt #2

“Hide inside the box,” Dori directed. “Act distwacted. Look the other way. Whistle for Mosey to appwoch yoo.”

Mosey tripped all over himself trying to race from the room.

Note to self: Learn to whistle.

Attempt #3

“Get on the chair,” Dori told me. “Then jump into the box.”

To preserve my dignity, I refused to give purrrmission to publish the photo of me sprawled on my floofy ass.

“I’m never gonna leave yoo.” An hour later Dori's words resounded through my hot brain like a vicious threat. Click To Tweet

Attempt #4

“Slide down the wope into the Chewy box,” Dori told me.

Even Fergus had his doubts this would work, and he was right.

Attempt #5

“Don’t get discouwaged, Hwermie! This next idea is sure to work.”

As you can see…it did not.

Attempt #6

After Dori insisted we load the Chewy box with heavy rocks to stop Mosey from moving…it worked!

Except for one minor flaw…

Attempt #7

“Cwouch down inside the box,” Dori told me. “Pwetend yoo awen’t there.”

Ohhh-kay!

She then crawled on top of my shoulders. “Look Mosey! It’s me, Dori! *wavy paws* Hwermie is not inside the box. Yoo can come closer so we can put the box inside yoo!”

Isn’t she precious?

Attempt #8

I deserve each an every ache, pain and bruise for going through with her Catapult idea.

Please bow your heads in memory of my dignity.

Attempt #9

“I pwomise this is going to work,” Dori told me. Her eyes were wide with a hint of manic determination, and her voice carried a note of hysteria. “All we have to do is shoot yoo from a canon into the box, and then jump on the box and shut it before Mosey can move.”

“We don’t have a canon,” I pointed out.

“Actually,” Fergus spoke up. “I do.”

Three hours later I awoke in Fergus’s bed in front of a cozy fire. The aroma of roast turkey filled the air. I followed the scent to the kitchen to see Dori, Fergus and Mrs. Gray in deep discussion. They quickly filled a plate for me and let me in on Dori’s next hare-brained scheme to get me home.

“There’s a steamer ship leaving for Ameowica in the morning, and yoor gonna be on it.”

A steamer ship! Wow!

I envisoned myself aboard a luxury liner. Not First Class, of course. That was reserved for celebrities like the Unsinkable Molly Brown and Rose DeWitt Bukater. Probably second class. Might even have to share a room with a stranger. But that was okay. I get along with everyone!

I would socialize with those poor saps on the third class level. Maybe even steerage. I’d sneak them some spring lamb with mint sauce and grilled ox kidneys with bacon cuz their menu would consist of gruel, cabinet biscuits and cheese.

At night under the cloak of darkness I’d slick back my floofy tail and head up to First Class deck where I’d stay in the shadows while watching the passengers parade arm in arm, chatting about how rich they were.

Maybe… Maybe I’d catch the eye of a beautiful rich girl trying to escape her boorish boyfriend and we would fall in love. She would love me because I’m handsome and have a healthy social media following…although I’d probably have to explain social media to her. And she’d get all swoony over me being so smart ‘n stuff.

Mrs. Gray snapped her fingers in front of my face, bringing me back to the present. Well, I was stuck in 1894, so the present of the year I was physically in.

She said, “We could only scrape together a few pounds so you will be traveling in the cargo hold.”

“Inside the Chewy box,” Fergus added.

Ah yes. The Chewy.com box. Then a thought occurred to me. “Dori, we are in 1894. A steamer ship isn’t magical like Mosey. If you ship me to Ameowica, I will arrive…still in 1894.”

“Actually,” said Fergus, “you will arrive in 1895. It’s December 8th. We couldn’t afford to ship you on one of them fancy new super steamers that arrive in nine days. Sorry. You won’t arrive until January.”

“Possibly February,” Mrs. Gray added.

“January? February!” My heart somersaulted. “I’ll be inside the Chewy box for weeks? I’ll starve. And I’ll miss Christmas!”

“No worries,” said Mrs. Gray. “I’ve fixed you a splendid turkey with all the trimmings. That should tide you over if you don’t make a piggy of yourself. And I’ve made you a scarf to keep you warm. Consider it a Christmas present.”

“Did yoo make me one too?” my little sisfur wondered, eying the pink scarf with envy.

“Dori! I’m not getting into that box and letting you ship me to Ameowica 1895.” My heart ached with sadness. “I’m stuck here. I’ll never get home. I’ll never see Mom again. I’ll never help her write another novel. Without me as her mews, she will dry up creatively and have to go get a real job. She’s been out of the workplace for too many years. She’s only qualified to say ‘Welcome to Meijers,’ or ‘Do you want fries with your burger?’ So sad!”

“Hwermie! Listen to me. I know what I’m doing.”

“I’ll never solve another purranormal mystery,” I lamented. “Not that I actually solved anything cuz I suck at detecting. But I had that cool office in the attic. Dad will probably chop up my desk for firewood and Mom will toss my Bakelite telephone and snake-necked lamp into the Recycle bin…”

“Hwermie! Yoo have nuffin’ to fear. I’m gonna get yoo home.”

“You can live with us,” said Fergus. “My master will be thrilled to meet you. You can’t be his writer’s muse, of course. That’s my job. But…” He looked at Mrs. Gray who said, “You can help me in the kitchen. You can be my cooking muse.”

They were trying hard to make me feel better, but my heart wasn’t in it. For all intents and purrposes…I was homeless.

Dori got in my face, took my whiskers in her paws and glared at me. “Yoo snap outta it, Mister! No feeling despurrate and discouwaged. Twust me. I know what I’m doing.”

She pointed to the box on the floor. “That isn’t an owdinawy box, Hwermie. It’s a Chewy.com box. Magical stuff happens to whatever is inside. Plus they have most excellent customer service. If yoo go missing, they will twack yoo down. Or weplace yoo. Customer satisfaction guawanteed!”

I covered my face with my paws. I didn’t have a choice. It was either trust Dori and her crazy idea about Chewy.com’s box getting me back home to Mom, Dad and my W.A.D. team, or live out my remaining years with the murderous Doyle who killed off my hero, Sherlock Holmes.

I crawled into the box. Fergus dragged his comfy bed from the fireplace to cushion the bottom. Mrs. Gray added the roast turkey with trimmings. Dori reluctantly returned my pink scarf.

I stared into Dori’s wide eyes, maybe for the last time. A lot of magical stuff had happened to me since Dori and I opened the Wonderpurr Detective Agency. But did I believe her latest crazy scheme would work? That the Chewy.com box possessed enough magic to time travel me back to the 21st Century? Not really.

“We had some good times together,” I told her, forcing a wide smile. When she stepped back with flattened ears, I laughed with sincerity. “I’m okay doing this, honey. Whatever happens, it’s meant to be.”

She placed her paws on the side of the box and nuzzled my whiskers. “Yoo gonna be awright, Hwermie. Don’t be fwightened. Twust me.” She licked my nose, and then Mrs. Gray secured the lid.

I could smell Dori through the right side of the box. “I love you, honey,” I told her. “You will always be my bestest friend.”

“This isn’t goodbye, Hwermie. Twust me. Everything is gonna be aw-wight.”

“Meowy Christmas!” I called out as I felt the box rise into the air. Soon the chill of the damp English weather seeped into my bones. I wrapped the pink scarf around my neck and hunkered down on Fergus’s bed. Nibbling the roasted turkey helped to warm my belly. It was crispy with delicious seasoning. But then I recalled Mrs. Gray telling me not to be a piggy. It had to last me through to January…maybe even February!

Soon the sounds and smells of the docks seeped through the cardboard. Eventually silence surrounded me and the only movement was a gentle swaying that told me I was at last at sea.

Hi Pals! Thanks everyone for following my Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries. I know this might not be the Conclusion you were expecting, but we seek to entertain and keep you guessing as to what will happen next. In this case, an all new Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries is coming with big changes, but you will have to read Sherlock Herms in Back to the Future to find out what they are. Like Dori says… “Twust me.”

CHECK OUT THE SHERLOCK HERMS CASE ARCHIVES FOR MORE MYSTERIES

and my W.A.D. team

and our typist and meowmy…

If you like what you’re reading, here are more stories by Kimberley Koz and Herman, her mews:

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Sherlock Herms Master Detective – Part 9

Previously on Sherlock Herms: The Making of a Master Detective…

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7. Part 8.

Hi pals! I’m back from Thanksgiving hiatus. I hope everyone in Ameowica had a delicious Turkey Nom Day. To bring you up to date on my current adventure, I took Mosey back in time to meet my hero, Sherlock Holmes in order to get him to teach me how to be a master detective like he is. At first I couldn’t find 221B Baker Street. But then I got directions to where some guy named Doyle lived who knew Holmes. Turns out my hero isn’t flesh and blood. Rather he’s a fictional character in a mystery series written by Arthur Conan Doyle who killed him off right before I arrived in 1894. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.

I then met the real brains behind Sherlock Holmes: Doyle’s muse Fergus, a Bedlington Whippet cross who agreed to teach me how to solve mysteries like Holmes did. Unfortunately, Mosey and Fergus got into a fight and Mosey fled, not only the house, but the century, leaving me stuck in 1894. I wasn’t too worried at first, figuring he’d come back for me, but then my mom came to me while I was sleeping and told me Opie and Jack were having a hard time reconnecting me to Mosey. It looked pretty bad for me. I could be stuck in 1894 forever!

I’d made a very bad mistake. I should have never taken Mosey back to find my hero alone, without Dori. I told Fergus about my last case, called Welcome Home.  How my family blamed me for Patty Kiss setting our home on fire.  I didn’t want to be a purranormal detective anymore. I wanted to go home. I wanted my old life back. And I told Fergus about how that actually happened. I woke up back in my office in our old home, and thought everything I’d been through had been a dream. I also told him that I was suspicious of Dori and the others trying to make it seem like I was back to where I’d been before my first case, waiting for the phone to ring. Like I’d dreamed everything.

Fergus said, “You got what you wished for. You were returned to your old life, before you received your first purranormal case. So why did you time travel here? Especially if you wanted your old life back?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but then had to think about it. “I… I guess I got caught up in the idea of having a second chance to be successful. I didn’t like that I’d failed. Was a failure as a detective. I wanted to find Sherlock Holmes and have him teach me his secrets so I could start over and this time be a success.”

“Do you have any opinions on how you were able to have your old life back?”

“I’m thinking Charley, my Guardian Angel, had something to do with it. He always wanted me to be a success. But he also knew I was struggling. Maybe he got purrrmission to send me back to the beginning. Before I started to fail.”

“It would require a lot of energy to send—not only you, but your entire family back to the beginning.”

“Energy?”

“Emotion.”

“Oh, there was a lot of emotion going on that last night. Seeing your home on fire, and fearing for someone to die will do that to you.”

“I’m certain that’s why your family was so upset. Especially your mum. They yelled because they were frightened.”

“But they blamed me for Patty Kiss torching our house!”

Fergus shrugged. “Maybe the emotion had to be directed at you, in order for you to return to the beginning. But your mum found you here with me when Mosey’s connection to you was broken. That tells me she isn’t upset with you any more.”

I hadn’t thought of that. Everything Fergus said made sense. Charley had found a way to take me back to the beginning before my first case. And then I got it in my head that I wanted a second chance, which led me to being stuck here in the past. Maybe forever!

I was just about ready for another good cry when Fergus sat up with his ears perked and his head quirked to one side. A low growl rumbled in his chest as he trotted to the door and looked into the front hall. There he woofed, making me hurry to join him.

I gasped at what I saw.

“Hwermie! It’s me. Dori!”

I wept as she scampered into my arms, and I held her tight. Over her shoulder I saw Mosey roll back to the front door, away from Fergus. Just to make sure Dori didn’t get her connection to Mosey severed as well, I said to the dog, “Sit! Stay!” And he obeyed.

“I’ve been so worried about yoo,” Dori wept. “Chawley couldn’t find yoo. And then Mom said she found you, but couldn’t bwing yoo home cuz Mosey bwoke yoor connection.” She growled at my Gen7Pets ride, “Bad Mosey! Bad! Bad!”

As Mosey swiveled to push his nose into the corner, I said, “Don’t blame him, Dori. It wasn’t his fault. He was just scared.” I went to wrap my arms around my beloved Ride. He moved out of my reach. “I’m not going to hurt you, Mosey. Stand still. I want to hug you.” Mosey again lurched forward. I tried again and again, literally chasing him all over the front hall, with Mosey always out of my reach.

I finally looked at Dori. “Opie and Jack didn’t find a way to reconnect me to Mosey, did they?”

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “The sectors are damaged. There is no way to wepair yoor connection. Yoo have to be back home in order for yoo to weconnect to Mosey.”

I heard my Ride whimpering like a puppy. I was frightened, but I didn’t blame him and told him so. Then another thought came to me. “You’ve come to say goodbye to me, like Mom did.”

“Good bye? Never! I’ve come to wescue yoo.”

“If I can’t go near Mosey, how do you think I’m going to return to 2017?”

“Don’t worry, Hwermie. Leave it up to me. I’ve got it all figgered out.” She scampered to push Mosey into the drawing room.

“You look worried,” Fergus whispered in my ear.

My sigh reached all the way down to my soul. “You don’t know her like I do.”

His laughter sounded like a hoarse cough. “She’s barely out of kittenhood. How much trouble could she cause?”

A loud crash in the drawing room made me cringe. I then covered my ears as Mrs. Gray arrived to shriek over a precious 17th century blown glass vase.

With my tail between my legs, I went to inspect the damage. “Will there be more like her coming in the pram?” Mrs. Gray asked. “If so, I insist you stay in the library, on the floor. No jumping on the tables like a pack of wild monkeys.”

As usual, Dori seemed oblivious of the broken tchokes. “Come here, doggy,” she said to Fergus. “Help me get this out.” She pulled at something in Mosey’s secret compartment. A sheet of cardboard.

“What’s this for?” I asked. Then I saw it was a folded Chewy.com box.

“Wemember when I asked if yoo knew where babies come from? Yoo said storks. But I knew better. Yes, storks are involved, but they deliver babies that come from Chewy.com.”

I glanced at Fergus who was trying to follow the conversation, but was clearly confused. I took a moment to explain what Chewy.com was, and then I had to further explain ‘dot com’ which led to a lengthy exposition on computers and 21st Century technology. By then we were all exhausted and needed a nap.

When we woke up I asked Dori, “What does a Chewy box have to do with getting me home?”

Dori began to assemble the cardboard into it’s box shape. “Simple, Hwermie. Yoo get into the box, and I bwing yoo home.”

“But Mosey moves away when I approach him.”

Dori gestured to the box. “Get in.”

I tried to hop inside, but the damp, soggy English weather had seeped into my old bones and I struggled. Finally Dori tipped the box on its side, I walked in, and she flipped the lid closed. I heard her ask Mrs. Gray for help. I felt the box leave the floor, but then I was jiggled around as Mrs. Gray chased after Mosey. She finally placed the box on the floor and I rolled out. “It’s not going to work, Dori.”

Instead of tears I saw determination on her pretty face. “It’s going to work, Hwermie. I’m gonna get yoo home. Or I’m staying here with yoo. Yoor my brofur and bestest furend. I’m never gonna leave yoo.”

READ THE CONCLUSION OF SHERLOCK HERMS MASTER DETECTIVE

If you like what you’re reading, here are more stories by Kimberley Koz and Herman, her mews:

click for more information

 

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