2017

1
Kringle Chapter 1 Part 4
2
Kringle Chapter 1 Part 3
3
Kringle Chapter 1 Part 2
4
KRINGLE Chapter 1 Part 1
5
Dori Sings The Broccoli Song
6
The Legend of the Peabody Ducks
7
Early Christmas Gift to my Readers
8
Happy Read A Book Day
9
Helping Dad Read the Sunday Mewspaper
10
Whale Watching with Captain Herman TattleCat

Kringle Chapter 1 Part 4

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought why not ease you all into the spirit of the holiday with ten chapters from my novel, KRINGLE. Yes! Ten free chapters for you to enjoy running Monday through Thursday through November 16th. Hope you enjoy!

To catch up on the story, I’ve added the Links to the end of this post.

~*~

Candy kissed his cheek. “Remember. Nine o’clock sharp. Ornament meeting.”

“What are you, my human day planner? Go sprinkle the world with beauty, Miss Joyous Noël. I’ll be there on time.”

“And you’ll stay there?” Her eyes narrowed.

As he said, “Yah yah,” he thought Candy’s gorgeous face, sunshiny hair and blueberry-blue eyes resembled her mother…except Holly had auburn hair and brown eyes, but even after twenty years together he still thought her the sexiest woman alive. And now their daughter was almost grown. Not quite. She was what, fifteen? He left the birthday facts and figures up to Holly. Seemed like only yesterday when three-year-old Candy sat on his lap and exclaimed how much Santa looked like her daddy.

“What are your plans today?” he asked. “Hair appointment? Clothes shopping? It’s not every day you’re sculpted in ice.”

Candy froze halfway into her pink faux bunny-fur coat. “Am I less than perfect?”

Kris noticed Cookie shook her head. “No, honey. You look great. Wasn’t I just saying, Cook, how spectacular Candy looks these days?”

Cookie nodded. “Extra special, ultra-spectacular.”

Candy buttoned her coat. “I hate to be touchy, but my crown demands me to adhere to a high standard. Malkorka says image is everything. I have to be perfect.” She didn’t sound happy.

“Why would you care what my crackpot secretary says?”

“As the first Miss Joyous Noël, Malkorka set the standard for future candidates. She composed the Miss Joyous Noël ideal criteria handbook.”

“She’s also responsible for the tradition where I have Yuley-the-goat knock his horns on Scandinavian doors so I can give gifts in exchange for porridge. Not only am I so sick of porridge that I have dry heaves when I fly over Sweden, but I still have goat stink in my nose hairs from last year. This year Yuley stays home.”

“And forget tradition?” his daughters asked in unison.

His heart lurched. Tradition! He loved tradition. He was steeped in tradition. He was no one without tradition. “Fine. Yuley can come. But I want a new tradition where Malkorka gives him a bath before I leave or she has to shave her head.” Read More

Kringle Chapter 1 Part 3

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought why not ease you all into the spirit of the holiday with ten chapters from my novel, KRINGLE. Yes! Ten free chapters for you to enjoy running Monday through Thursday through November 16th. Hope you enjoy!

To catch up on the story, here’s are the Links to:

Chapter 1-Part 1.  Chapter 1-Part 2

~*~

Kris scowled. Holly Kringle suffered no fools and she had just let everyone know what she thought of him. His silent family underscored his guilt. Even Andy Williams stopped singing.

“Does this mean you’re not going to your Ornament meeting?” Candy sounded worried.

Kingston smirked. “You really fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch this time, Toy Boy.”

LaRoux hurled Candy’s diced melon at her husband. “Holly shouted at you too, Monsieur ‘Gimme thumbthing to kill dis thaste in ma mowf.’ Take a deep breath and smell the coffee. It’s burning.” She followed Holly’s exit.

For a scary moment Kris expected his father-in-law to detonate all over the kitchen. Then Kingston noticed Candy’s gaze on him and forced a chuckle. “Love shucks le peas from a man’s le pod, Cooper. Be smart. Stay single. Avoid French women.”

Cooper grinned. “So we’re creating a new chain of islands? Where? South Pacific?”

“Hawaiian’s. It’s gotten rather cold over there on the Hot Spot.”

Kris wanted to hurl more melon at the old troll, followed by the knife Candy used to dice it. Holly should have been Mother Nature when her Nanny Anian passed away, but instead Kingston inherited the power. Five months ago his heart attack forced him to realize he didn’t have an heir trained. When Holly refused, Cooper—the Santa heir—became Kingston’s choice.

Kris’s alarm knew no boundaries. Batman had the Joker for his archenemy. Santa Claus had Father Nature. Read More

Kringle Chapter 1 Part 2

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought why not ease you all into the spirit of the holiday with ten chapters from my novel, KRINGLE. Yes! Ten free chapters for you to enjoy running Monday through Thursday until November 16th. Hope you enjoy!

To catch up on the story, here’s the Link to Chapter 1.

~*~

“Morning all.” He shook snow from his soaked parka onto my freshly mopped floor. “Beautiful day, Kingston. You outdid yourself.” He tossed his parka at the coat tree—missed—then kissed me with exaggerated passion, gave our children each a peck to their brows, and for a grand finale bent my mother backward over his arm for a theatrical smooch that left her giggling girlishly.

Let me clarify here, the image you have of Santa Claus describes Kris on Christmas Eve when he undergoes a magickal transformation. His hair whitens, his beard thickens and he gains a sixty pound belly. Pre-transformation he’s a Viking stereotype: Wheat-blond hair shot with gray, a close-cropped beard the shade of toasted coconut; brawny-built, weight appropriate for six-foot-three. At fifty-five, Kris still turns heads, mine included.

And then there are days like today when my head keeps turning as though I’m being exorcised. Read More

KRINGLE Chapter 1 Part 1

With Christmas fast approaching, I thought why not ease you all into the spirit of the holiday with ten chapters from my novel, KRINGLE. Yes! Ten free chapters for you to enjoy running Monday through Thursday from September 11th through November 16th. Hope you enjoy!

~*~

December 21st—84:00 hours to Eve Launch

After twenty years of ‘wedded bliss’ to the original Bad Boy of the Northern Hemisphere, my life is not all Sugarplum Fairies and Joy to the World. I could fill pages about my life with Kris Kringle, but I wouldn’t want to destroy your childhood delusions about Santa Claus.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my wickedly charming husband. He’s a wonderful father. A steady provider, and still makes all the right moves in bed. Ohhh yah!

Yet, I wanted him to look at me and wet himself in fear. I was that mad. So what did Kris do that had me contemplating divorce with Eve Delivery just hours away? Grab some coffee and have a seat. I need to vent and this is going to take a while.

Read More

Dori Sings The Broccoli Song

Hi ev-furryone! It’s me, Dori. *wavy paws* I want to sing a song for yoo. It’s about Broccoli.

I’ll eat beans and rice with pumpkin spice, but I won’t touch that broccoli
I’ll eat potatoes and steak in a pie or a cake, but I won’t touch that broccoli
And with ‘dem potatoes, I’ll eat some tomatoes, but I won’t touch that broccoli
‘Cuz I’ll eat apple pie with the peel and smile, but I won’t touch that broccoli
I’ll eat corn on the cob with a shish-ka-bob. but I won’t touch that broccoli
I’ll even eat some prunes that stick to my spoons, but I won’t touch that broccoli
But then my friends close their eyes …and they give it a try…and they don’t scream or cry..but they smile and sigh
So…I… Guess I’ll try that broccoli, yeah I’m-a-gonna try that broccoli. Yeah I guess I’ll try that broccoli
But not the brussels sprouts!

The Legend of the Peabody Ducks

The tradition of the ducks swimming in The Peabody Hotels famous fountain started in the 1930s when the General Manager of The Peabody – Frank Schutt – and his friend, Chip Barwick, returned from a hunting trip and thought it would be funny to release a few live duck decoys (yes, back in the 30s they used live ducks to lure wild ducks) in the beautiful fountain. The hotel guests loved seeing the ducks enjoying the fountain, and so began the tradition, still being practiced 90 years later in Peabody hotels all over the world with the ducks entering the lobby every day at 11a.m., and then returning home to their luxurious rooftop palace at 5pm.

The position of “Duckmaster” at the Peabody Memphis is the only such position in the world. Celebrities have also assumed the role of Honorary Duckmaster from time to time, including Zane Lamprey, Paula Deen, Joan Collins, Molly Ringwald, Kevin Bacon, Peter Frampton, Emeril Lagasse, Patrick Swayze, Queen Noor of Jordan, Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King, among others. Read More

Early Christmas Gift to my Readers

With Christmas only sixteen weeks away, as of this date, I anticipate that most of you will soon feel as though you are trapped inside a giant snow globe being shook by a sugared-up six-year-old while trying to get the wrappings and trappings of this celebrated holiday put together for your family.

I know from experience that once the Thanksgiving turkey has been eaten, we then naturally throw ourselves into the Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Christmas Rush, and we don’t allow our heartbeats to settle back to normal until well after the New Year’s baby has pooped his first diaper.

With that lovely image now planted in your heads, I thought this year I would give my readers an early gift. Let’s face it, the Hallmark channel churns out some pretty sweet Christmas movies, but we are all too busy writing lists, signing Christmas cards, and running around like crazy people to watch them, much less read a holiday book. I’m right in there with you.

So! I thought why not ease you all into Christmas with ten chapters from my novel, KRINGLE? Yes! Ten free chapters for you to enjoy starting Monday, September 11th, and running daily Monday through Thursday, up to Thursday, November 16th. Read More

Happy Read A Book Day

Hi pals! It’s me, Dori. *wavy paws* Today we celebrate Weed a Book Day.

Herman: *ahem* It’s… Read a Book Day.

Dori: That’s what I said. Weed a Book Day. *rolls eyes* Pals, I’m hoping to inspire yoo to put down yoor phones and teevee remotes, and instead pick up a book. Papurr-back, hawd cover…even an e-book. It’s not mandatory for yoo to weed the whole fweakin story…just a chapter or two. Stimulating yoor bwain can go a long way toward making yoo smart. Inpurresting! And not a dwag on society cuz yoo only know stuff about them Kawdashy-ann bwroads wif da big booties.

Herman: Dori! That’s rude!

Dori: I’m not rood. I’m being troof-ful. They have big butts…and I cannot lie!

Herman: *paws over eyes* What is seen cannot be unseen.

Dori: I’m thinking our sisfur Candy is a Kawdashy-ann. She has a big bootie.

Herman:  Big booties have nothing to do with Read A Book Day. Can we get back on topic?

Dori: Ohhh-kay. *blink blink* I got nuffin. What do you want me to say? Read More

Helping Dad Read the Sunday Mewspaper

Hi everyone! It’s me, Dori. *wavy paws* Today is Sunday, and my daddy likes to read his mewspaper while lying on my floor. So of course I want to be a part of his reading experience.

This is me, Dori, and my bestest sisfur, Candy, watching our daddy read his mewspaper.

Nothing beats the taste of nomming on fwesh mewsprint.

But then…my pleasure was diswrupted by my newest little sisfur, Elly. Everyone here thinks Elly is wonderpurr…except me and Gidget. We think she’s a thweat to our positions in the family. Read More

Whale Watching with Captain Herman TattleCat

Ahoy there, Anipals! This is your captain, Herman TattleCat, welcoming you aboard the St. Herman whale watching vessel.

For today’s trip we venture into the cold icy waters of Southeast Alaska’s Inside Passage where humpback whales are known to hang out in the summer months.

A couple years ago my pawrents took an Alaskan cruise where they enjoyed whale watching. They also got to witness a bubble net, although Mom’s camera was set to photographs and not video at the moment one happened right in front of their eyes. *shakes head in disgust*

So! Without further delay, board the St. Herman and prepare for a wonderpurr afternoon of whale watching. Read More

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