31 Ways to get Arrested in the South

Hi pals, it’s me Dori! *wavy paws* Last week I taught you how to make Moo Shine. This week I want to teach you how to get arrested in the South…in case you want to but don’t know how.

So here goes!

In Alabama you can be arrested for keeping ice cream in your back pocket. Also, if you flick boogers into the wind, the law gonna come down on you hard.

In Arkansas it’s illegal to call the state Aw-kan-sass. Also, alligators are not allowed to live in your bathtub.

In Florida don’t go napping under a hair dryer while at the beauty salon. Also it’s against the law to have sex with a porcupine…unless you are a porcupine. (You don’t want to know how that law got passed, do you?)

In Georgia it’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a streetpost or keep your donkey in the bathtub. What is it with hoomons keeping animals in their bathtubs?

In Kentucky a wife must get her husband’s permission before she’s allowed to buy a hat. Also, you may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.

In Louisiana having a pizza delivered to someone who didn’t order it will get you a $500 fine. It is also illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

In Mississippi it’s against the law to parent more than one illegitimate child. Also you aren’t allowed to shave in the middle of Main Street.

In North Carolina it is a felony to steal more than $1,000 worth of grease. It is against the law to sing off key or use an elephant to plow cotton fields. Also, all couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.

In Oklahoma you are banned from making ugly faces at dogs or taking a bite from someone else’s hamburger.

In South Carolina you are not allowed to fall asleep in a cheese factory. And every man must bring a rifle to church to ward off Indian attacks.

In Tennessee it’s a felony to sell hollow logs, drive while asleep, or eat roadkill. (Darn!)

In Texas it is against the law to sell one’s eye. It is illegal to milk someone else’s cow. And the entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

And finally!

In Virginia a person may not hold public office if he or she has ever participated in a duel. No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. And women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.

Well there you have it. 31 ways to get arrested in the South. Enjoy! And be sure to share with me the outcome of your arrest.

Have a Wonderpurr Weekend!

Love, Dori

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  • Adorapurr, mew had us in hysterics!!! ‘it’s against the law to have sex with a porcupine…unless you are a porcupine.’ LIKE OMC!!! Really, truly, honestly??? WOW that’s out-there!!! MOL MOL

    We absolutely luffed your post today, and thinks its epically epic!

    Big hugs and wishing the Wonderpurr Gang a most excellent weekend

    Basil & Co xox

    • Hi Basil & Co! We Ameowicans have very silly laws still on the books. But I’m interested in what laws yoo Britains might have on yoor books.

  • I love ridiculous laws like that. We couldn’t have a sorority house cuz the town my university was in had a law that more than 5 girls housed together is a brothel.

    • Hi Miz Lillian! I wonder what happens if someone has 5 daughters in their house? Enquiring minds want to know.

  • We have no idea how you know so much about getting arrested – and won’t ask – but thanks for the info. Jan is very upset about this post, though. She would never have an alligator in the bathtub or even in the yard, but she’s sad she’ll have to get rid of the donkey in the bathtub.

    We have no comment about the porcupine.

    • Please tell Miz Jan that I won’t tell about her donkey in the bafftub. What she does in her baffroom is her bizness.

  • Dat’s very sweet of you to point out all our Southern misgivin’s and legalities. We’re a pawlite group here in da South as you can see by our laws. Now, lace up dat corset a bit tighter, we all want Scarlet’s 17 ” waist. Big hugs

    Luv ya’

    Dezi and Raena

  • Snuggle up my darling. We will let Herms sleep in the extra bed. And will call sissy to let her know about the rifle.

  • So hilarious and the photos are fun. Runs to ask if she can buy a hat for her porcupine in the bathtub bahah. Love the post.

    • Hi Lola. Yes, I cannot breathe in this corset so I’m donating it to the daughters of the american revolution.

  • Those were so funny! I had to look up what odd laws we have in the UK and found these.

    It is illegal to:
    Carrying a plank along a pavement
    Flying a kite or sliding on ice or snow whilst in the street
    Entering the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour
    Dying in the Houses of Parliament
    Keeping a pigsty in front of your house – unless duly hidden
    Erecting a washing line across any street
    Beating or shaking any carpet or rug in any street. However, beating or shaking a doormat is allowed before 8am
    In London, riding the bus (knowingly) with the Plague
    Handling a salmon in suspicious circumstances
    Being intoxicated and in charge of a horse or cow
    Wilfully and wantonly disturbing people by ringing their doorbells or knocking at their doors
    Firing a cannon within 300 yards of a dwelling house
    Jumping the queue in the Tube ticket hall
    Gambling in a library
    Removing a dead whale found on the British coast – since it automatically becomes the property of the ruling monarch
    For a pub landlord, allowing drunkenness in their pub
    In Scotland, turning someone away if they knock on your door and require the use of your loo
    Allowing your pet copulate with any pet from the Royal House
    Importing into England potatoes which you suspect to be Polish
    As of 1998, causing a nuclear explosion
    It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
    A bed may not be hung out of a window.
    Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow. :0

    • Wow! I’m very impressed! I wonder what suspicious things were being done to that poor salmon to get a law made? And if yoo ask me, the rooling monarch can have that dead ol’ stinky whale. Also, anyone know exactly how one can tell the difference between an England potato versus a Polish potato? It’s a mystery to me! Thanks so very much for sharing those a-mewsing laws!

  • Ooh thank goodness I bet No.32 is being late to comment on a post about 31 things to get arrested for! Eeek, I’m done for as just convicted myself!
    Hmm arrested in a cheese factory for being asleep! I do hope they have rest rooms for the mice and cats else the jug could get mighty full!
    Have a lovely week past and present and future

    • Oh Pwincess Erin, I would gladly post bail for yoo, cuz yoo is one of my very bestest furends.
      Love yoo!
      Dori the Jailbird

  • What in the world?! Humans and their goofy laws! Bessie, my Basset Hound minion, has been in the bathtub and she kind of looks like a donkey & gets called “donkey” by my “hoomans” sometimes!! Tee tee tee!

    • Awww, I bet Bessie would look very cute with a shower cap and bubbles while in the baff tub. Hee hee!

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