Hi pals, it’s me Dori! *wavy paws* Last week I taught you how to make Moo Shine. This week I want to teach you how to get arrested in the South…in case you want to but don’t know how.
So here goes!
In Alabama you can be arrested for keeping ice cream in your back pocket. Also, if you flick boogers into the wind, the law gonna come down on you hard.
In Arkansas it’s illegal to call the state Aw-kan-sass. Also, alligators are not allowed to live in your bathtub.
In Florida don’t go napping under a hair dryer while at the beauty salon. Also it’s against the law to have sex with a porcupine…unless you are a porcupine. (You don’t want to know how that law got passed, do you?)
In Georgia it’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a streetpost or keep your donkey in the bathtub. What is it with hoomons keeping animals in their bathtubs?
In Kentucky a wife must get her husband’s permission before she’s allowed to buy a hat. Also, you may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
In Louisiana having a pizza delivered to someone who didn’t order it will get you a $500 fine. It is also illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
In Mississippi it’s against the law to parent more than one illegitimate child. Also you aren’t allowed to shave in the middle of Main Street.
In North Carolina it is a felony to steal more than $1,000 worth of grease. It is against the law to sing off key or use an elephant to plow cotton fields. Also, all couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
In Oklahoma you are banned from making ugly faces at dogs or taking a bite from someone else’s hamburger.
In South Carolina you are not allowed to fall asleep in a cheese factory. And every man must bring a rifle to church to ward off Indian attacks.
In Tennessee it’s a felony to sell hollow logs, drive while asleep, or eat roadkill. (Darn!)
In Texas it is against the law to sell one’s eye. It is illegal to milk someone else’s cow. And the entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
In Virginia a person may not hold public office if he or she has ever participated in a duel. No member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. And women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
Well there you have it. 31 ways to get arrested in the South. Enjoy! And be sure to share with me the outcome of your arrest.
Have a Wonderpurr Weekend!