Herman TattleCat

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Happy 1st Day of Autumn
2
Sherlock Herms in… The Making of a Master Detective
3
Finding Mya’s 3rd Anniversary
4
Sherlock Herms in Farewell to Summer
5
Happy Read A Book Day
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Whale Watching with Captain Herman TattleCat
7
No One Eats Until…
8
Belle ~ Forever in Our Hearts
9
How to Pet a Cat
10
Last Day at Wonderpurr Carnival

Happy 1st Day of Autumn

We did it! We suffered through Summertime 2017 and we survived! Not without a lot of growling and hissing cuz… hoomidity is poo poo. But that’s all behind us now.

To me Autumn means trees changing into their best finery of gold, orange and red. It means waiting for those leaves to fall on the ground so I can jump into them and make leaf angels.

Autumn means the aroma of pumpkins, cider, fresh hot donuts with a sprinkling of cinnamon sugar. The air is turning crisp and kinda peppery. And we get to have the windows open.

Octopurr is my favorite Autumn month. Hay rides. Corn mazes. Singing around a campfire while roasting marshymallows and telling spooky stories. Octopurr ends with the bestest holiday ev-ver… Halloween. So excited. Can’t wait to pick out my costume for this year’s trick or treating.

What does Autumn mean to you?

Happy Fall Ya’ll!

Herman!!!

Sherlock Herms in… The Making of a Master Detective

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure my business is all in my head and I might be borderline schizo. I have no idea what’s going on.

As I lay in the dark on my attic office sofa, my mind replayed what I had to assume was a nightmare.

I’d dreamed we’d lost our home when I allowed a teevee celebrity ghost hunter named Ghost Guy into our house and he’d summoned enough demons to force us to flee. Okay. It was really Dori who did that, but I accept the blame. I could have scratched the dood and sent him on his way, but I didn’t.

We’d moved north to a town called Welcome Home located in the Mitten State. There I met a pretty ghost named Dottie Kiss who loved to wear polka dots and had been murdered by her sister Patty who buried her in a grave with their grandmother, Violet. When confronted with proof Patty retaliated by setting our new home on fire.

“This is your fault, Sherlock,” Dad had snarled at me in my dream. “If you hadn’t poked your pink nose into Patty Kiss’s business, our home wouldn’t be on fire. You’re responsible for this.”

“You took playing detective too far,” Peaches said and Chauncie Marie added, “What a failure you are, Herman.”

I’d buried my face in my paws while all around me were the sounds of my life going up in flames. “I never meant for this to happen,” I’d cried. “I didn’t want to be a purranormal detective, but everyone said I had to help Dottie.”

“You’re a failure,” Frank growled. “Because of you we are now homeless!”

Dori howled. “We are homeless. All because of yoo, Hwermie. All because of yoo!”

“All because of you, Herman,” Mom said, her voice heavy with grief. “All because of you!”

Sobbing my little heart out, I ran to my Guardian Angel, Charley Feeble. “The h-house is b-burning and everyone blames me,” I’d wept in my dream. “I didn’t know Patty would b-burn the house down. I didn’t know.” I pawed away my tears to look into his eyes, but what I saw wasn’t the kind squinty Charley eyes I’d come to know and love. Now his eyes were hard and angry.

“It is your fault,” he told me. “You messed up. You put your family in danger.”

“But I didn’t mean to,” I yowled, heartbroken that my mentor had also turned on me. “Oh Charley. Not you too. Everyone is mad at me. Nobody loves me any more.” As my family and Charley surrounded me with mad faces, I’d hid my face in my paws. “This is a nightmare! A horrible, horrible nightmare!”

I felt a kick to my shins and with a gasp I stared into the squinty eyes of my sweet little sister and partner in the Wonderpurr Detective Agency. “Just like hoomons…you dissy-point me, Hwermie.” Dori kicked me again, and punched my arm. Even in my dream she packed a wallop. “Yoo did a bad thing, Hwermie. Bad, Hwermie!”

As I watched her prepare for another roundhouse punch, I gasped and fell backwards. As I fell, I realized that I was falling into a deep dark pit, about six feet deep. There I lay looking up at the stormy sky at the top of the pit. As the faces of my family crowded around the opening, I realized I was not alone. I was inside the grave with Violet and Dottie, and both were wearing mad faces. Read More

Finding Mya’s 3rd Anniversary

Finding MyaThree years ago today me and my mom published our book, FINDING MYA – He Can’t Live Happily Ever After Without Her.

It’s a 5-Star book on Amazon.com, with the art work for picture map illustrations provided by our friend Mya Campbell who was 8-years-old at the time.

To celebrate, we are giving away a copy. All you have to do is leave a comment below to enter.

In case you’re new to our blog and don’t know about FINDING MYA , here’s what the story is all about:

Eight-year-old Mya has a magical relationship with her grandma’s foster kitten, Herman. They can talk to each other. Not with words. With tickle thoughts! They plan to live together, but then the worst happens. Mya’s vacation ends and Herman is given to a woman whose dog treats cats like chew toys. He escapes danger, but the road to finding Mya is scary and tough. She promised to leave picture-maps along the way to her home. All Herman has to do is follow them and he will live Happily Ever After in her arms. It’s a wonderful plan. Too bad it goes wrong right from the start.

Here’s a scene from a chapter called DUMPSTER DIVING where raccoon brothers Danny and Huck teach me how to find food cuz I was starving.

~5~

DUMPSTER DIVING

Herman shivered inside a hollow, dead log. One lousy beetle. That’s all he’d eaten in the two days since the weather had turned bitter-cold.

Nor had he found any of Mya’s picture-maps, making him worry that she had changed her mind about him living Happily Ever After with her.

He’d be a goner if she didn’t want him. Never to be cuddled. Never to be fed tuna noms. Never to find his missing purr. As his empty tummy tied itself into knots, he began to sob.

“You okay there, pallie boy?” A raccoon peeked in at him. Read More

Sherlock Herms in Farewell to Summer

Sherlock HermsHi Pals! Well, summer hiatus is over. Thank Cod! It was a long n hoomid summertime and frankly, I’m happy to wave buh bye!

My next Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mystery adventure will debute Friday, September 22nd. In past cases I’ve been plagued by self doubt and insecurities that I can ever measure up to being a master detective like Sherlock Holmes or a hardboiled detective with grit in his blood like Sam Spade. But no more! I’m taking control of my destiny–kicking tail and taking names!

For those of you who spent way too much time at the beach and had your memories singed by the sunshine, I’ve posted the final chapter from my last adventure below. It’s a cliffhanger…without the cliff. Although it’s got a scary grave in it somewhere.

Anyway! I’m looking forward to seeing all of you next Friday. Until then…

Have a Wonderpurr Week!

Previously on Sherlock Herms in Feral Informants.

Sherlock Herms in… Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire

Mom sighed as she disconnected her phone. “This ghost hunting career of yours has turned dangerous,” she said to me. “And I’m mad at myself that I’ve been too distracted setting up this bed and breakfast to notice what’s been happening right under my roof.”

“I’m getting out of the purranormal biz. At least I hope to,” I reassured as I led her downstairs and out the front door where Dori sat on the porch steps. “What did you find?”

Dori swiped a paw across her weepy eyes. “Nacho led me to Violet’s grave. He said Dottie is buried there, too.”

Mom abruptly went back inside. I wondered if she was nervous about what I’d asked her to do and needed to pee, or was backing out of our plan to trap Dottie’s killer in a confession. But then she returned with scissors and a large shopping tote that smelled like bread. As she snipped several yellow Julia Child roses from the nearby bushes she said, “Crawl inside the tote, under the bread loaves. Patty Kiss claims to be allergic to cats. She won’t allow me inside her home if she sees you.”

I pushed aside the crusty loaves to settle at the bottom of the tote. Dori climbed in beside me. As Mom carried us to the house next door, I whispered the plan to Dori. She seemed uncharacteristically subdued. “Hoomons can be so dissy-pointing.” I couldn’t agree more.

I heard Mom whisper, “It’s show time!” and ring the doorbell. A moment passed before the door opened and I heard Patty Kiss say to Mom, “What a surprise.”

“I was on my way home from the store,” Mom told her, “but when I saw how pretty my roses were, I cut a few for your home.”

“Thank you,” Patty said. “My grandmother planted those bushes years ago. But she never shared them with me.”

“Cuz yoo is a bad lady,” Dori whispered inside the tote, and I told her to Shhh. Read More

Happy Read A Book Day

Hi pals! It’s me, Dori. *wavy paws* Today we celebrate Weed a Book Day.

Herman: *ahem* It’s… Read a Book Day.

Dori: That’s what I said. Weed a Book Day. *rolls eyes* Pals, I’m hoping to inspire yoo to put down yoor phones and teevee remotes, and instead pick up a book. Papurr-back, hawd cover…even an e-book. It’s not mandatory for yoo to weed the whole fweakin story…just a chapter or two. Stimulating yoor bwain can go a long way toward making yoo smart. Inpurresting! And not a dwag on society cuz yoo only know stuff about them Kawdashy-ann bwroads wif da big booties.

Herman: Dori! That’s rude!

Dori: I’m not rood. I’m being troof-ful. They have big butts…and I cannot lie!

Herman: *paws over eyes* What is seen cannot be unseen.

Dori: I’m thinking our sisfur Candy is a Kawdashy-ann. She has a big bootie.

Herman:  Big booties have nothing to do with Read A Book Day. Can we get back on topic?

Dori: Ohhh-kay. *blink blink* I got nuffin. What do you want me to say? Read More

Whale Watching with Captain Herman TattleCat

Ahoy there, Anipals! This is your captain, Herman TattleCat, welcoming you aboard the St. Herman whale watching vessel.

For today’s trip we venture into the cold icy waters of Southeast Alaska’s Inside Passage where humpback whales are known to hang out in the summer months.

A couple years ago my pawrents took an Alaskan cruise where they enjoyed whale watching. They also got to witness a bubble net, although Mom’s camera was set to photographs and not video at the moment one happened right in front of their eyes. *shakes head in disgust*

So! Without further delay, board the St. Herman and prepare for a wonderpurr afternoon of whale watching. Read More

Belle ~ Forever in Our Hearts

One year ago today, my lovely bride Belle @Frankencat1, unexpectedly went Over the Rainbow Bridge. Belle had a mind of her own, and didn’t share with her parents or fur sibs, or even me her husband, about her plans. She just went. That’s the way she wanted to go.

A year later we continue to think of her, and mourn our loss.

Her daddy, David Brothers, is a talented jewelry designer and created a zipper pull in her memory.

You can have a Forever In Our Hearts pull for you own for $10 by clicking the photo that will take you to Four Paws Lifeline’s shop. All proceeds benefit Four Paws Lifeline, a 501(c)3 charity.

Four Paws Lifeline is a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization. Our goal is to provide financial assistance to those pet owners who are not able to afford critical care or emergency veterinary care for their furry loved ones. We are here to offer hope in your pet’s darkest hour. We feel that their life should not depend on your ability to pay. Rushing a beloved pet to the emergency vet is stressful and full of fear. To delay treatment because of an inability to afford the treatment only prolongs the pet’s suffering. Often animals are surrendered or euthanized as a result of not being able to afford treatment, we are working towards a future where decisions about companion animal medical care need never be made on the basis of cost. Four Paws Lifeline was started to assist and to take the worry about money out of the equation.

David Brothers has an amazing selection of Handmade Gemstone Chakra charms that he sells to raise funds for Four Paws Lifeline. Please keep Four Paws Lifeline in mind for your next gift.

Our Wedding Day, June 23, 2013.

How to Pet a Cat

As Jack is a Chronic Touch Me Not with Illusions of Feral Grandeur (even though he’s Peaches’ son and Jesse’s brother and has never been feral) Jack has been Voluntold to demonstrate how to pet a cat…from a cat’s purrr-spective!

Last Day at Wonderpurr Carnival

Hi Pals! Welcome back to the final day at our Wonderpurr Carnival. Dori and I appreciate everyone who participated in the fun.

Who’s here for today’s Carnival?

@SundanceTheKid

@Frankencat1 – Belle and her fursibs Elle, Dora, Neil and Slash

@ChazzTheDog1 and his roomie Viggo

@TweetingTruman

@OneInThere – Barley

@NoCryBabyDogs Daffy and her little sisfur Mitzi

@ThatStripeyCat’s sisfur Leia

@HRMeownessWills and his little sisfurs Katie and Abby

@BionicBasil

@ErintheCat1

@3Phibotticelli Sadie and Angel Phi

@MHMelbourne Greyson and Penny Lane

@ClingyCat – Jazz the Tort and Captain Worm-Sparrow the calico

@RoniTheBrat’s sister Bisi

Me Herman @TattleCat and @Adorapurr and our brother Opie

Let the Fun Begin!

Wheeeee! The Turbo is definitely a before-lunch-noms ride. Here’s Jazz, Barley, Sadie, Sundance, Daffy and me, Herman!!!

Truman and Mitzi try to run down Wills and Dori in the bumper cars. Look there’s Barley and Sadie in the background.

Dori dressed in her watermelon dress to ride with Wills and Chazz, her bestest furends.

Read More

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