Herman TattleCat

1
TattleCat Chat on Paybacks Are Hell
2
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 5
3
Free Chapter – A Mad Fling
4
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 4
5
Man Cave Tour
6
Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 3
7
Bundling Your TV and Phone Can Make Your Parents Happy
8
Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 2
9
There’s a Ringing in my Ears
10
Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

TattleCat Chat on Paybacks Are Hell

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr Weekend at my house, the place where I live. It’s been averaging 98 degrees with a heat index of 100+ so of course Dad decided the master bedroom had to be relocated from the upstairs where it’s always hot and costs a fortune to chill because the room is so big, to the smaller room downstairs that Mom uses for her office.

He decided Mom should move her office into the open dining room since no one ever dines in there. The whole shift of furniture is now in progress with the noisy carpet cleaning machine sopping up the carpets with wet stuff, and lots of grunts and swearing while my pawrents shove heavy desks and cabinets from room to room.

At our  house we thrive on Change. If nothing Changes for awhile, we all get kinda crabby and do something stoopid like…adopt another cat.

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Yup. Candy is the latest mempurr of the Wonderpurr Gang. Dad shudda thought about moving the bedroom when summer first started, but now we’re stuck with her.

Or rather, Dori is stuck with her.

See, when Dori was a kitten she had endless energy. END. LESS. And she took a liking to me right away, which meant I got the full brunt of her END. LESS. ENERGY.

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But now Candy has her eye on Dori. Candy is 12 months. Dori is 3.

Dori has been begging to sleep in the Man Cat Cave with me to avoid being kept up all night.

Dori ExhaustedI’m mature enough to feel sorry for my little sisfur, but… Paybacks are hell!

I hope you have a Wonderpurr Week!

Be sure to stop back on Friday to join us for another chapter in our Sherlock Herms Purranormal Adventures.

Purrs! Herman!!!

 

 

Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 5

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After Sherlock Herms enjoys a play break with his sisfur-slash-assistant, Detective Dori, he falls asleep and dreams he’s at the Desert Galaxy casino, seated at a table with Loud Lady and her Not Friend, Elouise. They are joined by the notorious gangster, Sammy ‘The Squid’ Calamari, who was rumored to be responsible for the mysterious disappearance of the almost famous hardboiled detective Maxwell Shallowford.

Just as Herman realizes he’s not a cat in his dream, but rather inside Max Shallowford’s body, The Squid gives him a briefcase filled with thousands of dollars. He tells Herman-slash-Max that he is to ‘plug’ another gangster by the name of Lenny the Loser.

Herman is quietly freaking in his navy pinstripe suit pants and his two tone shoes when he notices a man at the next table, glowing. Yup. Glowing like the sun is shining brightly down on top of his balding head. He tells Herman not to be afraid, and introduces himself. He’s Charles Feeble. Dori’s Charley! He also tells Herman, in order for him to understand what happened to Max Shallowford, he is experiencing a memory from the detective’s life. Herman wants to know who he is. Herman has many questions, but Charley tells him…

“That’s not important right now. When you awake, I will explain. But for now, let’s enjoy the show. Shall we?” He abruptly stood up to applaud, along with Sammy Calamari and the rest of the people at the nightclub.

“And now,” a voice said over a loud speaker, “please welcome to the Desert Galaxy… Miss Adora Purr singing her new hit song, Purrple Underpants!”

Herman swings his gaze to the bandstand where he sees his little sisfur step on stage.

What the Friskies!

And now…Part 5.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER Read More

Free Chapter – A Mad Fling

TattleCat Chat Logo

 

Hi pals! It’s TattleCat Tuesday and I have something to celebrate.

Today…well, the day I’m writing this…I reached 10,000 Followers on Twitter.

It took me 1,724 days to reach it as I joined the Anipals on Octopurr 28, 2011. I’m so happy to have met so many wonderpurr furends, and their hoomons.

Anyway, to celebrate I thought I would rip a chapter out of the summertime book my mom and I wrote called A Mad Fling and share it with you. I hope you enjoy. And if you do, please stop back on Friday for read the next installment on Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries.

And now…without further adieu…

A MAD FLING

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Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 4

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

Mrs Shallowford's GhostWhen Loud Lady’s friend Elouise (who is really not her friend because she rolls her eyes behind her back) arrives carrying a big purse, Sherlock Herms watches from the stairs as Elouise pours liquor and pills into Loud Lady. Then, while Loud Lady slips into a drunken stupor, Elouise sweeps through the house, putting stuff in her big purse, including the Persian cats, and money from the safe.

At least Herman now knows why the Persians had him pee in a potted plant. Their litter boxes were toxic from not being emptied for a very long time. As Elouise prepares to leave, the new housekeeper arrives, and Elouise gives her the order to get rid of the litter boxes. While the housekeeper goes to work, Herman returns to the room that would be his mom’s author office seventy years in the future, but is currently a man’s lounging room in the past. He wants to see if his assistant-slash-sisfur, Dori, is in the attic that would be his detective office in the future. But when he goes to the door, he is shocked at what he finds.

And now…Part 4.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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Man Cave Tour

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. Although the weather has been sticky and stinky, I’ve been keeping cool in my Man Cave.

Actually, it’s my Dad’s man cave, but he lets me use it whenever I want cuz… I’m a man cat.

I was telling my Twitter pals @VanAlikes, @Catrepeneur and @CatmamatoniToni about my man cave and they wanted to see pictures. So, I thought I’d take you on a tour. Read More

Sherlock Herms in Mrs Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 3

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal energy gate transports Sherlock Herms and Dori, his sasspuss sisfur-slash-assistant, to their own home seventy years in the past, Dori scampers off to chat with Charley, the person who hired them to find missing jewelry, leaving Herman to conduct his investigation alone.

Abruptly in need of a litter box, Herman panics when he is unable to find one, only to be rescued by two expensive Persians who give him permission to widdle in a potted plant instead of a litter box. He finds that odd, but is desperate. Once refreshed, he interviews the Persians, hoping to learn if they know what happened to the jewelry. However, they avoid answering his questions which makes him suspicious.

Then the doorbell rings, causing the Persians to flee, leaving Herman with unanswered questions.

And now…Part 3.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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Bundling Your TV and Phone Can Make Your Parents Happy

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. It’s actually been a Su-purr Wonderpurr week because both my pawrents are happy at the same time.

That doesn’t happen often. So when it does, I celebrate.

What made them both happy at the same time?

A Hot Spot.

No, I’m not talking about an open sore on one of my fursibs’ back. They wouldn’t celebrate that.

I’m talking about this tiny white box that Mom sets next to her laptop, and when she turns it on, her laptop is able to “go on line” where she can research author stuff, and I can hang out with my pals on Twitter and Facebook. And we both can Blog.

I didn’t know what a Hot Spot was until I overheard Mom explain it to Dad who was growling like a hungry dog over the Cost of Living.

Since cats don’t do math, I have no idea what entails this Cost of Living, but apparently it enrages Dad. Mom says Dad is stuck back in the 90s when he used to pay the bills, but since Mom took it over, he has no idea what anything costs.

Where was I? Read More

Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost – Part 2

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

When Herman’s 1940s black Bakelite phone summons him to his second case, he again climbs inside his Ride – a tricked out Gen7Pets Regal stroller – and is sucked into the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal energy gate to travel back to the 1940s.

Herman expects to arrive at a strange house like he did on his first case, The Case of the Dancing Ghosts. And he does! Except the strange house is his own home, seventy years in the past. It looks nothing like the house he lives in with his mom, dad and eleventy-billion fursibs.

He’s freaked about the changes, but his detective assistant-slash-sisfur, Dori, isn’t. She isn’t even surprised when a loud screechy lady with painted eye brows answers the door and tells them they can find her missing jewelry, but she won’t pay them to find it. Dori is okay with that. She tells Herman it wasn’t Painted Eye Brow Lady who hired them. It was Charley.

Who Charley is Herman has no idea. He also has no idea what’s going on with his sweet little sisfur who is acting like she’s the hardboiled detective with grit in her blood, and he’s her meek little detective assistant.

And now…Part 2.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

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There’s a Ringing in my Ears

TattleCat Chat LogoWell, it’s been another Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. At least it was until my mom thought she needed a new ring on her paw phone. Not a ring like hoomons wear on their paws. The kind of ring that makes your ears go flat when someone wants to talk to your hoomon on their paw phone.

My Dad has an old fashioned ring on his phone. He says it sounds like way back when his grandma had a landline phone. I have no idea what he’s talking about. What’s a landline? I don’t really care to know. I don’t like his phone ring, but it’s better than the new one Mom is now using. It yowls. Like a cat.

In fact, to me it sounds like three or four cats, singing the song of our people.

I don’t like it. I have nine fur sibs and there is enough yowling in this house without complete stranger cats inside my Mom’s phone putting in their two cents.

Plus they’re mumbling, so I can’t understand what they’re meowing about. Maybe if I could understand them, I could get them to stop yowling and maybe mew…softly!

I really want to ask Mom why she uploaded the yowling cats on her phone instead of maybe…cows mooing, or ducks quacking… Or birds chirping. I probably would enjoy hearing birds chirp. In fact, I know I would. Read More

Sherlock Herms in Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. At least that’s what I hoped for once I got more experience as a private investigator. I had just completed my first job, The Case of the Dancing Ghosts, and was now on my way to my second case.

Dori and I huddled together with our paws over our ears to block the wind-whooshing sound created by my Ride—a mint chip colored Gen7Pets Regal stroller—as it zoomed through the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal energy gate.

I deliberately kept my back to the control panel to keep from staring at it. The dazzling display of button lights captivated me unlike catnip or any feathery toy, but the control panel hated to be stared at. It was kinda scary.

Stop StaringI also blocked Dori from touching the panel. She had a thing about a particular pink button that would delay us from reaching our destination by ten days per push. On my first case we should have arrived in June, but because Dori pawed it repeatedly, we didn’t arrive until May—nearly a year later! Dori forgot to bring her treats, and our client refused to feed us, and Dori got so starvy, she became sick. Which reminded me… Read More

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