Herman TattleCat

1
Sherlock Herms: The Case of The Dancing Ghosts – Conclusion
2
Sherlock Herms and The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 5
3
Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 4
4
Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 3
5
Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 2
6
Sherlock Herms in His 1st Big Caper: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts
7
In Honor of Nerissa The Cat
8
Beer Guy Likes Cats
9
Dori Gets A Taste of Spring
10
#FourPawsLifeline Interview on The Pet Radio Show

Sherlock Herms: The Case of The Dancing Ghosts – Conclusion

Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPEDPreviously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet sated sisfur/assistant, Dori, they had come to the conclusion that the Throckley mansion was contaminated with ghosts, and the CritterZone Air Naturalizer that Dori had pulled from the wall when they were sucked into the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal might eliminate the ghosts. But before they did that, Herman wanted to find out how the ghosts got dead in the first place.

Dori wanted to hire a Medium to connect with the ghosts by letting them inside their bodies to talk, but Herman couldn’t afford one. Plus he didn’t like the idea of Old Man Throckley inside him, all drooly and stinky.

Suddenly the ghost party returned, making Dori and Herman run upstairs to the third floor where Throckley appeared, holding a hammer. Herman was afraid he would hit them, but then Throckley walked through them, through the wall. When an explosion of violent hammering burst from beyond the wall, Dori zoomed back downstairs, but Herman remained behind, determined to solve the mystery. With his sensitive whiskers tingling with feline intuition, Herman put his paw on the wall. It felt cold. Really really cold.

Then, it hit him!

And now…
The Conclusion.

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Sherlock Herms and The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 5

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPED

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet bored sisfur/assistant, Dori – they had just explored the second floor of Roland Blunden’s haunted house when Herman saw the ghost of the former owner, Old Man Throckley, in his bedroom on the third floor…and peeded his floofy britches. While Dori researched ghosts from a book she had taken from her mom’s library, Herman followed Gladys, the singing mother ghost, into the kitchen where he watched her prepare ghost chicken in the greasy black frying pan. He saw her remove a packet of something from a jar of pineapple and add it to the chicken before vanishing.

Herman and Dori return to the third floor where Herman saw Throckley’s ghost. Something about the third floor makes his sensitive whiskers tingle, but since he doesn’t own a pipe like Sherlock Holmes, or smoke cigarettes like Sam Spade, Herman has to rely on his superior feline instinct to figure out what is wrong. Meanwhile…Dori is bored and wants to go home. Suddenly they hear music and laughter from downstairs. The ghost party has returned. Standing at the top of the stairs they see the ghost couple, Christina and Gorgeous George, dancing up the stairs toward them…straight through them…and then they dance right through a solid wall. A moment later Herman and Dori hear a shrill, horrible scream that comes from behind that wall. And then…all is eerily silent.

And now…Part 5

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 4

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet hungry sisfur/ assistant, Dori – they had just received payment in advance for their first case. Roland Blunden of the Chelmsford Blunden’s—who said ‘whilst’ instead of ‘while’ because he was British—wanted them to prove his house wasn’t haunted, and if it was haunted, he wanted the ghosts busted so he could sell the property at triple his investment. They had 24 hours to do their job, or Blunden would demand his two quarters back.

With their work cut out for them—they saw a dancing ghost couple on the staircase shortly after Blunden left—Herman and Dori headed across the street to question a neighbor about the house’s original owner who mysteriously disappeared in 1923—twenty years ago. As Herman lived in the 21st Century before his stroller was sucked into a glowing kitty play tunnel rumored to be a trans-portal, he surmised he had time traveled to the 1940s for his first case.

The neighbor, aka Broom Lady, had vivid recall of the night twenty years ago when the owner left town on a business trip, and his young wife and her bawdy mother threw a dilly of a party with liquor and cigarettes. But then her favorite radio program came on and she flicked her broom at them to shoo them off her porch. Disappointed that neither Blunden nor Broom Lady would serve her refreshments, Dori got revenge by eating grass and then throwing up on Blunden’s valuable Oriental (an old rug, not a Siamese cat.)

And now…Part 4

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 3

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet uncoordinated sisfur/assistant, Dori – they had just arrived at the location of their first case after being sucked through a kitty play tunnel that doubled as a trans-portal. Because Dori had been mesmerized by the pink button on the control panel that she had been warned not to touch, but pawed repeatedly anyway—with each touch the button delayed their arrival by ten days—they arrived in British Columbia eleven months later.

Looking like an extra from The Maltese Falcon, their first client, Roland Blunden of the Chelmsford Blunden’s, explained the house he had purchased ‘whilst’ still in England (he’s British so he said whilst instead of while) was rumored to be haunted, and he couldn’t sell it until they either proved it wasn’t, or got rid of the ghosts. They had 24 hours to do their job, or Blunden would demand his two quarters back that Dori had demanded he prepay.

And now…Part 3

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 2

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPED

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood – he had just opened the Wonderpurr Detective Agency and had been hired to take his first case. However, he had concerns about the location of the case, as he didn’t have purrmission to leave the yard. That’s when his brofurs, Opie and Jack, arrived with Herman’s Gen7Pets stroller…with slight modifications…along with a nylon cat play tunnel that was said to be a trans-portal.

Accompanied by his sisfur –the beautiful though uncoordinated Adorapurr aka Dori – Herman climbed into his tricked out stroller, and pressed the H on his collar to the H on the control panel with a scary array of glowing buttons, including a pretty pink one that had Dori mesmerized. After Dori meowed the address and pawed the appropriate button, Herman’s Ride began to shake like a wet dog. Before them the nylon tunnel glowed in the attic’s shadowy darkness. Herman thought it looked like it was growing bigger…or maybe he and Dori were shrinking. Either way, his Ride was rolling toward it, as though being sucked inside.

While Dori freaked out – “Haalllp! We are being eaten!” – Herman zipped the stroller’s hood into place just as Opie and Jack returned, waving their paws. Despite the bouncing and the blurring Herman can see the fur on their backs standing straight up.

“Stop!” Jack yowled. “I forgot to tell you—” Then he was gone. And Opie was gone.

Everything was gone!

And now…Part 2

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Sherlock Herms in His 1st Big Caper: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. At least that’s what I hoped for once I got my paws wet as a private investigator. It was my first day on the job.

The Wonderpurr Detective Agency had been open for business all of twenty minutes, but my phone hadn’t rung once. I flicked my floofy tail with impatience. How long would I have to wait before someone hired me to solve a caper?

It all began a couple nights ago when Mom and I were wide awake cuz Dad was snoring Classic 70’s rock songs in his sleep. We ended up in front of the TV watching a documentary on famous detectives. Mom told me to pay close attention. She had decided to write mysteries. She seemed pretty set on doing it. That made me nervous.

I’m her mews, you see. I inspire her when she writes novels. I even starred in FINDING MYA for her. But how could I inspire her when I know nuffin’ about solving mysteries? If I fell down on the job, she might ask my arch-nemesis to be her mews. He’s a chunky orange tabby named Opie. He’s also my brofur.

With that in mind, I paid close attention to the documentary featuring Sam Spade, Philip Marlowe, Mike Hammer, Dick Tracy, Charlie Chan, and the husband and wife team, Nick and Nora Charles. My purrrsonal favorites were Spade and Marlowe for their hardboiled detective lingo, and Sherlock Holmes for his use of logical reason to solve cases. Plus I liked his hat. Read More

In Honor of Nerissa The Cat

Honoring the memory of Nerissa the Cat on his first Angelversary.

May the carpet of Primroses in heaven be as soft and fragrant as they were here on earth. And with every step you take, shower your loved ones with your own purrsonal sunshine. You are dearly missed, my friend.

NerissatheCat

Dori Gets A Taste of Spring

Herman 1-ViewNX

Well, it’s been another Wonderpurr weekend here at my house, the place where I live.

Dori had quite an adventure yesterday — Sunday — while we were on Yard Patrol.

She’s new at Yard Patrol. She’s been 100% indoor kitty since she was rescued from backyard in January 2013 with her Dad, Nikolas, and her mom and fursibs, all now adopted. She was only a baby when she was patrolling the woods, so she’s forgotten everything her pawrents showed her.

The fenced-in yard where I patrol is safe with high walls, trees, bushes, bamboo, flowery vines, a huge fountain, and a nice cool patio. When I go out, I take a spin around the perimeter to see if anything has changed, and then I settle under my favorite flowering vine for a nap.

It's a Wonderpurr Life

On Sunday my pawrents were chilling on the patio, while Frank climbed the fence to take a sentry position overlooking the backyard where the raccoons hang out. That left me to keep an eye on Dori. This would be maybe her sixth time in the yard, but the other times the weather was cooler and the bugs ‘n other creepy crawlies had not yet come out of hibernation.

She seemed like she was doing pretty good, wandering among the new bushes Dad put in, and exploring the gravel walkway, pawing a few stones.

Then…

She pounced!

I immediately knew what she had found. One of those tiny squishy jumpy toys that appear in my yard when the weather gets warm.

Now from experience I know these toys are better left alone. I’ve never played one with, but I’ve seen my other fursibs play and I’ve seen the outcome.

Before I could meow to warn Mom of what Dori had found, I saw Dori pick up her new toy and march happily across the yard. This was at the same time I heard Dad say, “Dori has a frog.”

Mom was immediately on her feet (foot since she’s still wearing the Scary Boot) and lumbered over to take the frog from Dori. See, its a firm and fast rule at my house: You can’t keep something you find until it gets Mom’s stamp of approval. And Mom rarely gives her stamp of approval, so we cats pretty much try to hide what we find.

Dori is new, so Dori didn’t know about hiding her tiny squish jumpy toy.

Mom didn’t have to worry about getting Dori to drop her toy, cuz a mere second later she had dropped it and was foaming at the mouth.

Buckets of foam poured from her mouth. And she was running like a rabbit all over the yard, with my pawrents trying to catch her–and *snickers behind paw* — failing miserably.

I felt bad about Dori having a bad taste in her mouth, but it was really funny watching Mom and Dad chase her.

Then Dad got the “brilliant” idea to open the door to the house so Dori could go inside. I later heard Mom telling her sister, “Makes total sense not to trap her in a tiny fenced yard, but rather let her inside a 3,000 square foot home so we can chase her up and down stairs, and from room to room, with Dori spewing foam with every step.”

I will now let Dori finish telling you the rest of her story:

Cry DoriDORI: *clears throat* Ahem!

I ALMOST DIED!

I had a NEAR-DEAF experience!

I saw a bwight light at the end of a tunnel, and was walking toward it when my meowmy grabbed me, hauled me into the baffroom and shut the door.

Then she poured water into my mouf and made me spit over and over.

Then Daddy passed Mom a cup of milk. I shouldn’t have milk. Last week I licked the bottom of a cereal bowl and I frew up over and over. But the taste of da tiny squishy jumpy toy was so bad… Mom rubbed milk on my gums and I licked it. So she rubbed some more.

I had stopped foaming by then, but me and Mom waited in the baffroom to see if I would frow up from having milk on my gums.

“So,” Mom said while we were waiting. “What did we learn about playing with frogs?”

I hung my head. “Fwogs are da Devil’s food, and I’m an Angel, so I shouldn’t eated them.”

“Good enough.” She let me go downstairs and fed me kibbles and turkey lunch meat.

My pawrents watched me all day to make sure I was fine, and I was. So this morning I got to join Hwermie and Fwank on Yard Patrol.

I didn’t see any fwogs, but I’d alweady planned to ignore them if I did see one.

I may be only dis many *holds up 3 claws* but I’m no fool.

The End

 

 

 

#FourPawsLifeline Interview on The Pet Radio Show

Four Paws LifelineKaren Brothers, founder of FourPaws Lifeline, was a guest on BlogTalkRadio’s  Pet Radio show to speak about her organization’s intent to provide financial assistance to pet owners who are not be able to afford critical and emergency vet care. The interview starts at 14:12.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/petradioshow/2016/04/02/pet-radio-trouble-paying-vet-bills-four-paws-lifeline-can-help

To learn more about Four Paws Lifeline, please click on their logo to visit their website.

Four Paws Lifeline is a 501(c)3 organization.

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