Herman TattleCat

1
The Adventure They Didn’t Want
2
Sherlock Herms in… Heaven Can Wait – Part 2
3
Herman’s Vacation at the Lake
4
Sherlock Herms in… Heaven Can Wait
5
Herman TattleCat Raises $650 for #JDRFOneWalk

The Adventure They Didn’t Want

Herman Site Icon 512x512pxIt all began Monday morning when I wanted to go for a walk. I am not the patient type when it’s a beautiful day and I’m in the mood to stretch my legs. I wanted out.

NOW!

Mom was at her desk. I threw myself down at her foots and emoted until she dragged her attention away from editing our next purranormal mystery. “I’m on a tight deadline,” she told me. “We are leaving town and I need to get two episodes written before we leave.”

I’m a cat. I care nuffin about deadlines. I went to the door where I saw sunshine and glorious blue skies. I yowled. I howled. I purrformed a hissy fit that could quite possibly net me a Blogpaws award for Best Cat in a Feline Drama .

It didn’t work. So I went to Plan B.

Plan B is me sitting behind Mom’s chair, moaning and talking to myself. Non-stop. For as long as it takes.

“Okay. Okay!” She put me in my Gen7Pets Regal stroller and out the door we went. Like I said, it was a glorious sunshiny day with blue skies and bird singing and flowers blooming…well, not much since it’s mid-Octopurr, but still–it was a real nice day. Especially cuz I got my own way.

Suddenly, Mom stopped pushing my Ride. “Frank! Go home!”

I peeked around my Ride to see my tabby brofur jogging along behind us. “I wanna come too,” he yowled, huffing and puffing cuz he has a tubby tummy.

He soon caught up with us, and then flopped down in front of me.

See what I mean?

Anyway, we rode along as usual, heading for the pond. I could see Frank was losing his enthusiasm for joining us on our walk. He began veering off onto the grass, and would stop and look behind us as our house got smaller and smaller in the distance.

“Did you bring a snack?” I asked. “And your hiking boots?”

“A snack? Hiking boots?” Frank looked pretty worried now. “Just how far are we going?”

“To the ends of the earth, my friend. If you didn’t bring your boots, your paws will probably fall off.”

I hid my snicker behind my paws. I’m a nice guy…except when someone intrudes on my walk with my mom.

“I don’t have any boots. I didn’t bring a snack!” Frank jogged along side my stroller. “Can I ride with you? Did you bring enough snacks for both of us?”

I squinted into the fragrant breeze as we rounded the corner. “Better turn back now. You’ve been warned.”

Suddenly, the garage monster that lived on the corner roared to life. I watched Frank flattened himself on the road. As the giant maw of the monster widened, Frank looked like he was ready to burst into tears.

“I warned you,” I whispered. I expected him to run home with his tail between his legs.

Instead he roared ahead at a full gallop, past the garage monster, past the pond, straight over the hill and down into the creek.

“Frank!” Mom hollered after him.

“He’s okay,” I purred. “Now where were we? Oh! We were going for a long sunshiny walk.”

Mom spun my Ride around and hustled me back to the house. Then she went back out. I knew she was going after Frank. Brofurs can be such a pain in the floofy tail!

Later when she returned with Frank under her arm, I pretended to be asleep. But I kept an ear perked for the gossip.

“I expected to have to hunt for him,” I overheard Mom tell Dad when he got home. “But the minute I called his name, he answered. He was under the bridge, freaking out. I really thought he would know how to get home. It’s only four houses away. But he looked scared and was hunkered down. I called him and he ran up the embankment. I’ve never seen him so upset! As I carried him home, I whispered to him, ‘I’ll always come for you, Frank. I’ll always find you.'”

Hearing that made me throw up a little in my mouth. Purrsonally, I think he behaved like a big baby. I mean, what was the fuss? I guess not every cat is a savvy world traveler like me. So sad.

Hope you enjoy a Wonderpurr week!

Purrs! Herman!!!

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Sherlock Herms in… Heaven Can Wait – Part 2

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Previously on Sherlock Herms…Heaven Can Wait – Part 1.

“Nooo!” Dori howled. Tears wetted her whiskers.

“What?” I ran to her. “What’s wrong?”

She pointed to the couch. “My tweats are gone. The couch monster eated them—again!”

We stared at the darkness under my couch. Then…

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Dori flung herself at the couch. “Yoo gimme back my tweats! I need to review them for Chewy.com.”

I went to pull Dori off the couch. No telling what kind of mood the couch monster was in. He’d been pretty passive, but…

From the corner of my eye I saw something move, and turned just as Evil Paranormal Stuff fell to the floor from the third shelf on my bookcase. Frozen with fear, I forgot Dori and her couch nemesis as I watched the bookcase shake like it was under attack.

Oh My Cod! The demon Loud Lady was trying to escape!

I felt Dori’s claws in my neck as she wrapped herself around me. Together we widdled our floofy britches. That was a mistake. Before our eyes the demon grew scarier and stronger from our reaction. I had to take control.

“Where is Charley?” I yowled. “Give him back!”

Demon Loud Lady howled from behind the bookcase, causing Dori to climb onto my back and sob.

“You give Charley back,” I snarled. “He wants to go to Heaven!”

“Heaven can wait!” Loud Lady screamed. “I have your precious Charley in Hell!”

And then she stuck her arm right out of the bookcase!

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And now…Part 2

BAKELITE DIVIDER

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Herman’s Vacation at the Lake

good-on-tvMy Vacation at the Lake

by Herman TattleCat

~*~

The lake was big.

The lake was wet.

It smelled like fish.

The End

Grab your popcorn noms…it’s time for a Home Mew-Vee

Thank you for watching my Home Mew-Vee! Please come back on Friday for the next Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries, Episode 2:

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Click for Episode One

 

Sherlock Herms in… Heaven Can Wait

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heaven-can-wait-promoI sat brooding in my attic office with my back to the seething bookcase. My snake-necked lamp splashed weak light onto my huge desk, causing eerie shadows to surround me. The atmosphere fit my mood. It had been weeks since my Bakelite phone with the rotary dial last rang. Was I a washed-up has-been after only two cases?

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. But since my phone isn’t ringing, clearly everyone knows everything so I’m not needed for nuffin’.

Actually I think Charley unplugged my phone until I got my focus issues under control. No sense taking more cases if I can’t see the clues right under my whiskers. Read More

Herman TattleCat Raises $650 for #JDRFOneWalk

Herman for JDRF one walkThanks to all who donated to my #JDRFOneWalk fundraising page, I was able to raise $650. That’s 2,600 huge quarters!

I sincerely appreciate all who RT’d my efforts on Twitter to get the word out. I have several family members and close friends who live their lives with Type 1 Diabetes, and I wanted to walk…um, roll in their honor.

We walked on  Caturday, Octopurr 1st – and the day started out with a nice autumn chill and bright clear skies. Everyone gathered at Shelby Farms Park in Memphis, TN–walking under the sponsorship of International Paper where my dad works. I even got to meet his boss, Greg, who took a selfie with me!

So for your amewsment…here are photos taken from my walk…uh, roll.

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Thank you so much to all who helped me to cross the finish line! I sincerely think you all are WONDERPURR!

I also wish to thank my little sisfur, Dori – @Adorapurr on Twitter – for contributing two of her songs – Purrrple Underpants and Let’s Go Outside – as prizes to those who contributed. She also added her voice to my fundraising efforts, which I appreciate.

For those of you who missed Dori’s fundraising videos:

Thank you, everyone for making my fundraising efforts a success!

Have a Wonderpurr Day!

Herman!!!

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