Herman TattleCat

1
A Sherlock Herms Flashback: The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost
2
Herman @TattleCat’s #Blogpaws Diary Day Two
3
Herman @TattleCat’s #Blogpaws Diary Day One
4
Sherlock Herms Has Gone to #Blogpaws
5
Wonderpurr Worldwide Blog Interview
6
Sherlock Herms – What Lies Beyond The Doggy Door?
7
The 5 Stages of Grief ~ Cat Style
8
Pole Dancing + Spiked Water Bowl Kind of Pawty
9
Sherlock Herms in…Down the Rabbit Hole
10
A Wonderpurr Weekend

A Sherlock Herms Flashback: The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost

Previously on Sherlock Herms – The Case of Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost Mrs Shallowford's Ghost

After watching Dori make her singing debut at The Desert Galaxy nightclub, Herman wakes up to realize he’s had a bad dream. Not that Dori’s singing was terrible, but that he was inside the almost famous detective Max Shallowford’s body, and the mobster Sammy ‘The Squid’ Calamari was expecting him to shoot another mobster.

Upon waking, Herman finds himself back in his attic office seventy years in the past. And seated across from him is Charley Feeble, a ghost. Charley tells him he is the real Max Shallowford, but has a pathological form of shyness. Because he feared meeting his clients in person, he hired an out of work actor from Ecum Secum, Nova Scotia to pretend to be Max Shallowford.

The actor was really good. Too good. He fooled everyone, including Charley, by taking over and getting involved with the mob. That landed him in trouble and he ended up disappearing, along with the mobster’s money and his girlfriend. The Squid was more upset about the money than the girlfriend.

The actor also married a showgirl by the name of Vivian who was responsible for scaring Charley to death. He tells Herman, “I called you, Sherlock Herms, to retrieve the missing jewelry so Vivian will stop screaming. She still frightens me, even though I’m dead. However, I now realize that if I can get her to step outside of my house, I may have a way to prevent her from reentering. That’s why I needed you, Herman. I need you to help me get rid of Vivian Shallowford.”

And now…The Conclusion.

SHERLOCK HERMS DIVIDER

Read More

Herman @TattleCat’s #Blogpaws Diary Day Two

Hi Pals! Thanks so much for reading my Day One diary. I wanted to post something yesterday, but then Mom got her back in trouble and we kinda unraveled from there.

We had a long drive on Monday, so we stayed at a hotel in Augusta. Then on Tuesday it was supposed to be an easy-peasy four hour drive…except we got caught in some awful road construction, and then wackiness ensued when we decided to take the back roads and since we didn’t have a paper map, just GPS, we had to drive way out of range cuz the GPS kept steering us back to the backed up highway. So we struggled to get to Myrtle Beach for most of the day. When we finally arrived it was around 4pm, and Mom and Dad were hot and sweatty.

But not me! Here’s a what we did on Tuesday and also on Wednesday.

On Wednesday, while I slept in, Mom and Dad got together for breakfast with @BionicBasil’s mom, Cathrine, and her mom, Jane, and @ErintheCat1’s dad, Mark. They must have been really hungry cuz they were there all morning. Then Mom went to get her back problem adjusted cuz she was a hurtin’ puppy.

Later Cathrine and Jane came to meet me, and they all went out to a place called BrookGreen Gardens for the day. I guess they like to sweat and look at giant statues and trees and stuff.

This is the statue of Pegasus. It took my pawrents a long time to find it, so they stood around looking at it for awhile before leaving.

While they were out looking at trees and statues and stuff, I was back at the hotel working on my tan lines.

Tomorrow is Thursday and that’s when Blogpaws really starts. I will try to take pictures so you can see what’s going on. Until tomorrow!

Have a Wonderpurr Day!

Herman!!!

Herman @TattleCat’s #Blogpaws Diary Day One

Hi Everyone! It’s Day One of Blogpaws week.

Wonderpurr.com is a Finalist for Best Pet Humor Blog, so naturally I am very excited to be attending this year’s conference in Myrtle Beach. I’ve had friends who aren’t able to attend ask me to keep them posted, so I thought I’d write a diary.

My fur sibs were under the impression that this was an ordindary Monday just like all the other Mondays…until Mom and Dad started pushing stuff out the front door to pack the van. I, of course, supervised. I felt kinda bad for Dori, as she doesn’t like car rides to the vet, and when she saw the pink carrier come out, she disappeared under something and didn’t come out to say Goodbye to Mom and wish me luck on the Nose-to-Nose Award.

I really had hoped Dori would come with me to Blogpaws this year so I could show off my little sister…I’m so proud of her! Plus she’s very pretty. But Mom says Dori needs to learn not to be afraid of cars before she can go to Blogpaws. Good luck with that happening.

Before we could leave, Dad had to clean litter boxes and do a final check on stuff while Mom fed the Wonderpurr Gang and the soon-to-be mommy raccoons that hang out in our yard…like, all the time cuz why wouldn’t they when food is practically served on a silver platter… Read More

Sherlock Herms Has Gone to #Blogpaws

“Digital EMF Meter… Check! 35mm camera… Check! Digital thermometer and Spirit Box… Check! Litter box, extra litter and pooper scooper… Check!”

“Hwermie! What are yoo doing?”

I glanced up from packing my suitcase to see my little sister Dori looking at me with huge worried eyes. “I’m leaving for Blogpaws next week. There’s a lot to do before we head out.”

She looked ready to cry. “But Hwermie! Dottie is weady to go through the doggy door portal. She needs to know she’s dead. Yoo can’t just zoom off to Blogpaws and leave her there. What if she fweaks out?”

I sighed. “Look, I meant to help her figure out she’s dead before I left for Blogpaws. But then Mom got a lecture gig at some writer’s conference and also a gig with a radio talk show over in Spain of all places. I kinda need her assistance to help Dottie with her issues. It’s not my fault we ran out of time. I was here at home doing my part as a purranormal investigator. If you have to be upset with anyone, be upset with Mom.”

Dori wrung her tabby tail with nervous paws. “Should I spray something?”

“NO! I… Look, honey. I’m sorry we can’t help Dottie this week. Or even next week… I–”

“Two whole weeks! That’s a lifetime in cat years!”

*pulls out pocket calendar* Actually, I can’t schedule Dottie’s problem until June 9th.”

I saw Dori stagger. “I think I’m gonna pass out,” she moaned, making me run to ease her to the floor. “We worked so hawd to get weaders to like us. Now they’re all gonna go away and never come back.”

“No, they won’t abandon us. They’ll be back.”

Dori began to sob. “Our readers might have Atten-Shun Deffy-Sit Dis-Odor. We need to post every week so they don’t fo’get us, Hwermie!” She flexed her claws. “If only I was born with fingers so I could type instead of being born with an amazingly beautiful face. Oh! The twials and twibulations of being born gorjus!” Read More

Wonderpurr Worldwide Blog Interview

Happy Cinco de Meow-O everyone! I’m so excited, and it has nothing to do with Meowgarita’s and doing the Salsa. Today we are featured on Dash Kitten’s Worldwide Pet Blog intermews. I gotta tell ya, that Harvey Button is a smooth intermewer. So please stop by and read my intermew. It’s not every day a cat like me gets his puss on a famous blog like DashKitten.com.

Click the photo to read my intermew!

Sherlock Herms – What Lies Beyond The Doggy Door?

Previously on Sherlock Herms in Down the Rabbit Hole

I asked the pretty ghost who didn’t realize she was dead, “Would you be interested in traveling to Urbana, Ohio to see the route Abraham Lincoln’s funeral train took in 1865?”

Dottie’s blue eyes sparkled. “My goodness! That sounds like fun. How many days should I pack for?”

“No need for luggage. We’ll be gone just the one day.” My plan was to transport Dottie into the past to witness Abraham Lincoln’s actual funeral.

“But how are you going to explain it to her?” my tabby brother Jack asked later when I mentioned my plans to help Dottie realize she was no longer breathing.

“See, that’s the idea. I don’t explain it. I let her figure it out for herself. How is it possible for her to be in the past when she was born 108 years after the dood died?” Read More

The 5 Stages of Grief ~ Cat Style

This past weekend I asked my Mom for something and she said “NO!” I don’t hear that word too often. I mean, I’m Herman!!! <– note my 3 exclamation marks, I never go anywhere without them.

Anyway, hearing the ‘N’ word kinda shook me right down to the tip of my floofy tail. It’s a nasty word. Especially when it means being denied something you really really want.

With that thought, I created my own version on the 5 Stages of Grief. Feel free to tell me what NO’s have lead to your purrrsonal grief.

Pole Dancing + Spiked Water Bowl Kind of Pawty

The Wonderpurr Gang wanted to shake our tails this weekend, so I donated two huge quarters to send our pawrents out of the house for a few hours. While they were gone, we rocked the house! Check meowt!

The Garage Band…Jesse and Nikolas with Opie on rhythmn and Frank on drums…played a full set of Stray Cat tunes. Stray Cat Strut always brings down the house.

Since joining our gang last year, Candy has gotten quite the reputation as a Party Girl. Read More

Sherlock Herms in…Down the Rabbit Hole

Previously on Sherlock Herms in Intimations

I pawed the computer mouse awake. I wanted to know whether other ghost hunters ever had a problem with ghosts not knowing they’re dead. I needed to know how a pawfessional explained it to the ghost.

“Whatcha looking for, Hwermie?” Dottie appeared next to me, her bright blue eyes alive with joy, despite her being dead.

I clicked off the Ghost Hunter Q&A site. “Just doing some research.”

“Ohhh! I love history.” Dottie pointed to a photo of Abraham Lincoln on the page beneath the one I’d just deleted; a page dedicated to all things paranormal about U.S. Presidents. “My grandmother, Violet, was a history buff and was especially fascinated with Lincoln. Did you know Mr. Lincoln visited Michigan only once, but left a long-lasting impression as he is attributed with the first known use of calling a Michigan resident, a ‘Michigander?’”

A memory exploded inside my head of Dori telling me about something she had read in her ghost book. “There’s some old hoomon named Lincoln who died and according to the legend, every April 29th, the phantom twain carries his body through the town of Urbana, Ohio, following the route it took back in 1865 when it carried his body back to Springfield, Illinois.”

I had an idea. I didn’t know if it was possible, but if it was, Dottie would be joining Violet and Isobel on the roof for tea by this time next week.

CLICK TO LEARN MORE

I sat with Opie and Jack on my new office furniture in my new office. It was so new, it still had a new office smell. “So, do you think it’s possible?”

My tabby brothers exchanged looks, then nodded in unison. “But how are you going to explain it to her?” Jack asked.

“See, that’s the idea. I don’t explain it. I let her figure it out for herself.”

Opie and Jack again exchanged looks. “What if she freaks out?” Opie wondered.

“I wouldn’t want a ghost freaking out on me,” Jack added.

“Who’s fweaking out?” Dori strolled into my office with a fresh bag of Smittens cat treats. Candy entered behind her with a box marked Catipilla.

“Hopefully no one,” I said as I hurried to take the box. (There was no chance in Hades of Dori sharing her treats.) I’d been asked to help promote the manufacturing of the Catipilla climbing frame using a crowdfunding campaign via Kickstarter. “You know how Violet and Isobel hired us to help their granddaughter, Dottie, understand she’s dead?”

“But they can’t tell us anything about her being dead cuz they’re gagged by the G.A.G. order,” Dori added.

“Exactly!”

“Why can’t you just tell her she’s dead?” Opie asked.

“Because that would upset her,” Candy explained.

“So, I got an idea,” I told them. “What if we took Dottie on a trip in Mosey? Back to some historical event, before she was even born?”

My Gen7Pets Regal stroller rolled to my side, trembling with excitement. Mosey hadn’t been used for an investigation since we time-traveled to the 1940’s to investigate Mrs. Shallowford’s Ghost.

Dori and Candy exchanged glances. “That would fweak her out,” they said in unison. Read More

A Wonderpurr Weekend

Friends ask me all the time…what does the Wonderpurr Gang do on weekends. So, to answer that question…here are a few photos from this past Caturday.

Frank and our new sister, Elly.

This is Chevy. He’s claimed our yard for his own.

Dad’s best cat Cookie went OTRB in 2012.

Elly has applied for the job opening.

Huck was born in 2011. He’s blind in one eye. He’s a good dad.

Frank used to sleep in the woods. Now he sleeps in our pawrent’s bed.

Me and Dori enjoy a good snooze in a favorite sun puddle.

Hope you enjoy a Wonderpurr Week!

Herman!!!

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