Even though my brofur Hwermie is the host of Tattle Cat Chat, I am better to write this report because… Because I’m Dori–that’s why! And also because my daddy, Nikolas, is kinda best furends with my Uncle Jesse: The Jail Bird.
Jesse is Peaches’ son and Jack’s brother, but he lives in the garage with my dad, Nikolas, because… Just because.
Actually Opie told Mom, “No more indoor cats,” to which our human Dad shouted, “Damn skippy! No more cats!” But Mom set up a super nice cat apartment in the garage with two cat trees, cushy comfortapurr chairs, blankets, heat lamps, toys, litter box, a kitchenette, and the freedom to explore the yard on sunny days, and stay in bed on rainy days.
Typically, Uncle Jesse is a homebuddy. He doesn’t roam. Period. As Dad leaves for work in the morning, he always says to Jesse, “Go outside and kiss a girl.” Jesse lost his true love, YumYum, a blue-eyed Siamese bombshell, at the same time my twin sisfur, Patsy, left home. They left together, and we are pretty sure they moved in with a neighbor who has a Siamese who escaped her home one day and made friends with Yum and Patsy.
Anyway, Uncle Jesse never got over Yum breaking his heart, and he says he’s now a comfirmed bachelor. So is my daddy, Nikolas, who had his heart broken when Patsy left without saying goodbye. Uncle Jesse and my daddy decided to bachelor it together, and that’s how their garage cat apartment came to be.
My daddy is a free spirit and loves to visit the neighbors, but Uncle Jesse is always in the garage or in the yard. He never leaves the property. So when he went missing, Mom immediately knew where he was.
On Tuesday our neighbor’s garage was open all day long. I guess someone was working in there, and forgot to close it. When Dad came home, he said he saw my daddy over there exploring. “He’s going to get closed inside,” I heard Dad tell Mom.
But it wasn’t my daddy who got trapped. It was Uncle Jesse.
I guess my daddy told Uncle Jesse how wonderpurr that garage was, and he just had to see for himself.
Mom didn’t figure out what happened until Wednesday morning when the neighbor’s garage door was closed, and only my daddy showed up for breakfast. My daddy is very smart. He’s a black cat, and Mom says black cats are highly intelligent. He stood in the driveway, looking at the neighbor’s garage, and was yelling his head off. Mom told him she couldn’t open the door to let Jesse out. They would have to wait until the neighbor’s came home that night.
So my daddy sat under our car to wait. And he waited and waited and waited all day. But no neighbors.
Our neighbors have a hair salon and they are theatre actors too, so they keep late hours. Mom put a note on their door, and went to bed. But when they came home around 11:30, they didn’t open the door to let Uncle Jesse out!
Around midnight, Mom got up and wrote another note. As she hobbled (she’s got a bad foot right now) over the culvert and onto their driveway, she saw my daddy, Nikolas, lying on top of their car, and he was yelling at her to do something. She told him she wasn’t going to ring their doorbell this late. Jesse would be fine until morning. And then she put the second note on their front door, telling them to OPEN IT because she figured they had just peeked into the garage and didn’t see a cat. Jesse is shy and wouldn’t announce himself to strangers.
She then went back to bed, but didn’t sleep very well. Neither did I. I slept under her chin and she was really restless, which made it impossible for me to sleep. ^exhausted ears^
The next morning we got up, and immediately went to the garage. My daddy was there, yelling at her, so she figured Jesse was still locked up. She opened the garage door… And there he was, hiding under our car! Yay!
Except he was pretty fweaked out, and was of the opinion that all garages are now scary, so he was staying put under our car. Mom brought him breakfast, and told him she was very happy he’d been sprung from jail. It took my human Dad taking the car to work, and Mom bribing Uncle Jesse into the garage with more breakfast, before he climbed into his favorite cat tree to sleep.
So Uncle Jesse is home and safe, and my daddy, Nikolas, is a hero and best furend for keeping watch over the scary garage, and Mom can stop worrying, and … maybe tonight I can get some sleep.