Frank Saved My Life!

tattlecat-chat-logo-on-chairI was in the middle of writing my weekly column when something scary happened to my little sisfur. I read somewhere that talking about upsetting things helps to release the fear so it doesn’t…you know. Bore others by talking about it. So I thought it would be a good idea for Dori to write about it and get it out of her system so I don’t have to hear about it after today.

So please welcome my guest columnist, Dori, who will share a traumatic event that may scar her for life. Or at least until tomorrow. ~ Herman!!!

Dori: I was traumatized the othdori-celebrating-lifeer day in my very own backyawd! But Fwank came to my rescue. Fwank saved my life!

It all began when I went into the yawd to enjoy the sunshine with my brofurs Fwank and Opie. Mom was busy working at the table, but she checked on us every few minutes.

To be honest, in the past I’ve had poor listening skills. I think I may have Attenshun Deffy-sit Dis-odor. Mom always tells me to stay in the yawd. To not jump on the fence. “But Mom!” I argue. “Fwank gets to jump the fence!”

Mom makes an excuse for him, saying he’s older and has something called street smarts that I’m severely lacking as I was only 3 months old when I was adopted.

Herman: Hey Dori! Get to the point. You have 500 words and you’re halfway through them.

Dori: Ohhh-kay. Well, I kinda forgot on purpose about keeping all four paws on the ground, and I decided to climb a twee in the corner where I’d seen my daddy, Nikolas, sitting on a ledge. When I got up there I was shocked to see a whole new world on the other side of the fence. There was caws and bushes and gwass and gawbage cans…

Herman: You now have less than 200 words.

Dori: Suddenly! I felt something gwab my collar and wrap itself around my neck, CHOKING ME! While I quietly struggled in despurration, Mom stepped outside and started to do roll-call. Suddenly! Fwank hauled tail over to the corner of the yawd where I was quietly DYING in the tree. Mom thought it very stwange of Frank to do that, so she followed to see what he was looking at. That’s when she saw me. At first she thought I was trying to get down cuz I’d been caught on top of the fence. But then she saw the vine that had wrapped itself around my froat and was CHOKING ME!

Herman: Less than 100 words.

Dori: While I made Gak! Gak! Gak! sounds in my froat, Mom tried to break the vine’s death gwip on me. Her hands were bleeding! Not weally, but my story might be made into a mewvee and blood draws a huge audience.

Herman: Less than 50…

Dori: If Fwank hadn’t run to the corner to show Mom where I was DYING…I could have CHOKED to DEATH! Fwank is my Hero! He’s the best brofur–”

Herman: And we’re out of time! Until next Tuesday, stay off the fence and enjoy a Wonderpurr week!

Herman!!!

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14 Comments

  • Dori! I can see why you would be traumatized by this. It’s almost like something that would happen to Indianna Jones! Frank should get a medal for saving your life. Glad you’re OK! Barley and Mum

    • Oh Bawley, it was Horwibble! I saw my life flash before my eyes! While short…it was a pwetty awesome life! Could be made into a mewvee starring Kristen Bell. Yes. Fwank needs a medal. He’s my he-row.

  • dori….we iz sorree…troo lee… N yez inn deed frank iz total lee an awesum soooper grate brother…we iz glad him waz ther ta noe ta fye yur mom

    984 paws two ewe frank…. N mite we suggest everee one go naked: ie: NOE DAMN COLLARZ…..ooopz we typed a bad werd….we meened NOE DAM COLLARZ { seer ee iz lee guyz……. } ♥♥♥

    we run round heer bear ass nekkid all de time….ooopz….we meen bear azz nekkid ~~~~~

    • I asked my mom about goin’ bear ass neeked, and she asked me where I learned such language and when I said da Trout Tabbies she said, she wasn’t surprised. Yoo guys have a reputation. High paws! As for going bear ass nekked… Mom sez she needs to know my whereabouts at all times cuz I tend to get into trubble…and I need to wear a bell. She sez if I don’t jump on fences the collar shouldn’t be a problem. Stay tuned. I have Attenshun Deffy-sit Disodor. Purrs, Dori

  • i soo love that mom helped you out. but…. ‘member why mom keeps eye on you. Now dat I angel, I keep eye on you too.

    Love you sis
    Belle

  • I wear a collar and bell so mommy can find me also. It is a breakaway collar so it will come off if I get in a fight with a new neighbor cat (they is always showing off when they are new to the hood) or if I got caught on a branch. I am chipped also. But I don’t mind wearing a collar. I feel wrong without it. It’s kind of like I belong with somebody safe feeling to wear one.

    • Hi Mr. Izzy. Dori has a collar with a tag and a bell. The bell helps my mom find her when Dori is being too quiet and maybe into some mischief. Actually she likes wearing her collar. She kinda fweaked out when she had it off and didn’t hear her bell sing as she zoomed around the house. I wear a collar when I travel. Collars are good!

      Please stop by again! Purrs! Herman!!!

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