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Hug Your Cat Day
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Sherlock Herms: The Case of The Dancing Ghosts – Conclusion
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Sherlock Herms and The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 5
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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 4
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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 3
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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 2
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Sherlock Herms in His 1st Big Caper: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts
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How to Apologize when your Cat Doesn’t Understand
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Jesse Survives 2 Nights in Jail
10
Happy Cinco de Meow-o!

Sherlock Herms: The Case of The Dancing Ghosts – Conclusion

Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPEDPreviously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet sated sisfur/assistant, Dori, they had come to the conclusion that the Throckley mansion was contaminated with ghosts, and the CritterZone Air Naturalizer that Dori had pulled from the wall when they were sucked into the kitty play tunnel-slash-trans-portal might eliminate the ghosts. But before they did that, Herman wanted to find out how the ghosts got dead in the first place.

Dori wanted to hire a Medium to connect with the ghosts by letting them inside their bodies to talk, but Herman couldn’t afford one. Plus he didn’t like the idea of Old Man Throckley inside him, all drooly and stinky.

Suddenly the ghost party returned, making Dori and Herman run upstairs to the third floor where Throckley appeared, holding a hammer. Herman was afraid he would hit them, but then Throckley walked through them, through the wall. When an explosion of violent hammering burst from beyond the wall, Dori zoomed back downstairs, but Herman remained behind, determined to solve the mystery. With his sensitive whiskers tingling with feline intuition, Herman put his paw on the wall. It felt cold. Really really cold.

Then, it hit him!

And now…
The Conclusion.

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Sherlock Herms and The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 5

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPED

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet bored sisfur/assistant, Dori – they had just explored the second floor of Roland Blunden’s haunted house when Herman saw the ghost of the former owner, Old Man Throckley, in his bedroom on the third floor…and peeded his floofy britches. While Dori researched ghosts from a book she had taken from her mom’s library, Herman followed Gladys, the singing mother ghost, into the kitchen where he watched her prepare ghost chicken in the greasy black frying pan. He saw her remove a packet of something from a jar of pineapple and add it to the chicken before vanishing.

Herman and Dori return to the third floor where Herman saw Throckley’s ghost. Something about the third floor makes his sensitive whiskers tingle, but since he doesn’t own a pipe like Sherlock Holmes, or smoke cigarettes like Sam Spade, Herman has to rely on his superior feline instinct to figure out what is wrong. Meanwhile…Dori is bored and wants to go home. Suddenly they hear music and laughter from downstairs. The ghost party has returned. Standing at the top of the stairs they see the ghost couple, Christina and Gorgeous George, dancing up the stairs toward them…straight through them…and then they dance right through a solid wall. A moment later Herman and Dori hear a shrill, horrible scream that comes from behind that wall. And then…all is eerily silent.

And now…Part 5

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 4

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet hungry sisfur/ assistant, Dori – they had just received payment in advance for their first case. Roland Blunden of the Chelmsford Blunden’s—who said ‘whilst’ instead of ‘while’ because he was British—wanted them to prove his house wasn’t haunted, and if it was haunted, he wanted the ghosts busted so he could sell the property at triple his investment. They had 24 hours to do their job, or Blunden would demand his two quarters back.

With their work cut out for them—they saw a dancing ghost couple on the staircase shortly after Blunden left—Herman and Dori headed across the street to question a neighbor about the house’s original owner who mysteriously disappeared in 1923—twenty years ago. As Herman lived in the 21st Century before his stroller was sucked into a glowing kitty play tunnel rumored to be a trans-portal, he surmised he had time traveled to the 1940s for his first case.

The neighbor, aka Broom Lady, had vivid recall of the night twenty years ago when the owner left town on a business trip, and his young wife and her bawdy mother threw a dilly of a party with liquor and cigarettes. But then her favorite radio program came on and she flicked her broom at them to shoo them off her porch. Disappointed that neither Blunden nor Broom Lady would serve her refreshments, Dori got revenge by eating grass and then throwing up on Blunden’s valuable Oriental (an old rug, not a Siamese cat.)

And now…Part 4

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 3

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood, and his beautiful yet uncoordinated sisfur/assistant, Dori – they had just arrived at the location of their first case after being sucked through a kitty play tunnel that doubled as a trans-portal. Because Dori had been mesmerized by the pink button on the control panel that she had been warned not to touch, but pawed repeatedly anyway—with each touch the button delayed their arrival by ten days—they arrived in British Columbia eleven months later.

Looking like an extra from The Maltese Falcon, their first client, Roland Blunden of the Chelmsford Blunden’s, explained the house he had purchased ‘whilst’ still in England (he’s British so he said whilst instead of while) was rumored to be haunted, and he couldn’t sell it until they either proved it wasn’t, or got rid of the ghosts. They had 24 hours to do their job, or Blunden would demand his two quarters back that Dori had demanded he prepay.

And now…Part 3

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Sherlock Herms: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts – Part 2

Previously on Sherlock Herms…The Case of the Dancing Ghosts…Sherlock Herms 1st caper cover CROPPED

When we last left our hero, Herman TattleCat – the dashing hardboiled detective with grit in his blood – he had just opened the Wonderpurr Detective Agency and had been hired to take his first case. However, he had concerns about the location of the case, as he didn’t have purrmission to leave the yard. That’s when his brofurs, Opie and Jack, arrived with Herman’s Gen7Pets stroller…with slight modifications…along with a nylon cat play tunnel that was said to be a trans-portal.

Accompanied by his sisfur –the beautiful though uncoordinated Adorapurr aka Dori – Herman climbed into his tricked out stroller, and pressed the H on his collar to the H on the control panel with a scary array of glowing buttons, including a pretty pink one that had Dori mesmerized. After Dori meowed the address and pawed the appropriate button, Herman’s Ride began to shake like a wet dog. Before them the nylon tunnel glowed in the attic’s shadowy darkness. Herman thought it looked like it was growing bigger…or maybe he and Dori were shrinking. Either way, his Ride was rolling toward it, as though being sucked inside.

While Dori freaked out – “Haalllp! We are being eaten!” – Herman zipped the stroller’s hood into place just as Opie and Jack returned, waving their paws. Despite the bouncing and the blurring Herman can see the fur on their backs standing straight up.

“Stop!” Jack yowled. “I forgot to tell you—” Then he was gone. And Opie was gone.

Everything was gone!

And now…Part 2

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Sherlock Herms in His 1st Big Caper: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts

My name is Sherlock Herms. It is my business to know what others don’t know. At least that’s what I hoped for once I got my paws wet as a private investigator. It was my first day on the job.

The Wonderpurr Detective Agency had been open for business all of twenty minutes, but my phone hadn’t rung once. I flicked my floofy tail with impatience. How long would I have to wait before someone hired me to solve a caper?

It all began a couple nights ago when Mom and I were wide awake cuz Dad was snoring Classic 70’s rock songs in his sleep. We ended up in front of the TV watching a documentary on famous detectives. Mom told me to pay close attention. She had decided to write mysteries. She seemed pretty set on doing it. That made me nervous.

I’m her mews, you see. I inspire her when she writes novels. I even starred in FINDING MYA for her. But how could I inspire her when I know nuffin’ about solving mysteries? If I fell down on the job, she might ask my arch-nemesis to be her mews. He’s a chunky orange tabby named Opie. He’s also my brofur.

With that in mind, I paid close attention to the documentary featuring Sam Spade, Philip Marlowe, Mike Hammer, Dick Tracy, Charlie Chan, and the husband and wife team, Nick and Nora Charles. My purrrsonal favorites were Spade and Marlowe for their hardboiled detective lingo, and Sherlock Holmes for his use of logical reason to solve cases. Plus I liked his hat. Read More

How to Apologize when your Cat Doesn’t Understand

cat-953219_640How do you apologize to a pet for something he is incapable of understanding?

Dori’s daddy, Nikolas, is upset with me. His best friend, Jesse, was first locked inside a neighbor’s garage for two nights, followed immediately with him being rushed to the vet with a very bad bite, most likely from a brown recluse.

The night Jesse was admitted to the vet for treatment, we brought Nik inside the house so we could bug bomb the garage. Nik has never been an indoor cat, and he did not like being trapped inside the laundry room, despite having his cat tree, personal litter box, and food and water dishes with him. When we released him the next morning, he ran like the devil was on his tail.

I don’t like being the bad guy with my cats. I always put their needs and concerns first, but there are times when that’s not possible. Jesse is very sick, and Nik is very upset because he doesn’t know where his buddy is. He clearly blames me for Jesse’s disappearance.

Jesse and Nikolas

The funny thing is, Jesse always harasses Nik, chasing him around the garage like a bossy older brother, while Nik plays the goof, sprawling on the hood of my car to wave at Jesse glowering at him from the floor. However, during the time Jesse was trapped in the garage, Nik stood vigilant in their driveway, pacing, waiting, yelling at me to do something to get him out. Because of the bite (the vet said it probably happened 2 or 3 days prior to being admitted, so he could have been bitten inside the garage) Jesse didn’t have time to thank Nik for being the one to alert me to what had happened.

As Jesse’s wound is severe enough to warrant a lengthy treatment, I will need to find the appropriate bridge to help Nik to understand his buddy isn’t gone, just unavailable for a while. I’m hoping that after Jesse comes home, I will be able to bring Nik inside for visitations.

Stay tuned.

Kim

Jesse Survives 2 Nights in Jail

Dori signedEven though my brofur Hwermie is the host of Tattle Cat Chat, I am better to write this report because… Because I’m Dori–that’s why! And also because my daddy, Nikolas, is kinda best furends with my Uncle Jesse: The Jail Bird.

Jesse is Peaches’ son and Jack’s brother, but he lives in the garage with my dad, Nikolas, because… Just because.

Actually Opie told Mom, “No more indoor cats,” to which our human Dad shouted, “Damn skippy! No more cats!” But Mom set up a super nice cat apartment in the garage with two cat trees, cushy comfortapurr chairs, blankets, heat lamps, toys, litter box, a kitchenette, and the freedom to explore the yard on sunny days, and stay in bed on rainy days.

Typically, Uncle Jesse is a homebuddy. He doesn’t roam. Period. As Dad leaves for work in the morning, he always says to Jesse, “Go outside and kiss a girl.” Jesse lost his true love, YumYum, a blue-eyed Siamese bombshell, at the same time my twin sisfur, Patsy, left home. They left together, and we are pretty sure they moved in with a neighbor who has a Siamese who escaped her home one day and made friends with Yum and Patsy.

Anyway, Uncle Jesse never got over Yum breaking his heart, and he says he’s now a comfirmed bachelor. So is my daddy, Nikolas, who had his heart broken when Patsy left without saying goodbye. Uncle Jesse and my daddy decided to bachelor it together, and that’s how their garage cat apartment came to be.

My daddy is a free spirit and loves to visit the neighbors, but Uncle Jesse is always in the garage or in the yard. He never leaves the property. So when he went missing, Mom immediately knew where he was.

On Tuesday our neighbor’s garage was open all day long. I guess someone was working in there, and forgot to close it. When Dad came home, he said he saw my daddy over there exploring. “He’s going to get closed inside,” I heard Dad tell Mom.

But it wasn’t my daddy who got trapped. It was Uncle Jesse.

I guess my daddy told Uncle Jesse how wonderpurr that garage was, and he just had to see for himself.

Mom didn’t figure out what happened until Wednesday morning when the neighbor’s garage door was closed, and only my daddy showed up for breakfast.  My daddy is very smart. He’s a black cat, and Mom says black cats are highly intelligent. He stood in the driveway, looking at the neighbor’s garage, and was yelling his head off. Mom told him she couldn’t open the door to let Jesse out. They would have to wait until the neighbor’s came home that night.

Nikolas bio

Nikolas

So my daddy sat under our car to wait. And he waited and waited and waited all day. But no neighbors.

Our neighbors have a hair salon and they are theatre actors too, so they keep late hours. Mom put a note on their door, and went to bed. But when they came home around 11:30, they didn’t open the door to let Uncle Jesse out!

Around midnight, Mom got up and wrote another note. As she hobbled (she’s got a bad foot right now) over the culvert and onto their driveway, she saw my daddy, Nikolas, lying on top of their car, and he was yelling at her to do something. She told him she wasn’t going to ring their doorbell this late. Jesse would be fine until morning. And then she put the second note on their front door, telling them to OPEN IT because she figured they had just peeked into the garage and didn’t see a cat. Jesse is shy and wouldn’t announce himself to strangers.

She then went back to bed, but didn’t sleep very well. Neither did I. I slept under her chin and she was really restless, which made it impossible for me to sleep. ^exhausted ears^

Jesse bio photo

Jesse

The next morning we got up, and immediately went to the garage. My daddy was there, yelling at her, so she figured Jesse was still locked up. She opened the garage door… And there he was, hiding under our car! Yay!

Except he was pretty fweaked out, and was of the opinion that all garages are now scary, so he was staying put under our car. Mom brought him breakfast, and told him she was very happy he’d been sprung from jail. It took my human Dad taking the car to work, and Mom bribing Uncle Jesse into the garage with more breakfast, before he climbed into his favorite cat tree to sleep.

So Uncle Jesse is home and safe, and my daddy, Nikolas, is a hero and best furend for keeping watch over the scary garage, and Mom can stop worrying, and … maybe tonight I can get some sleep.

The End

*takes bow*

 

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