Sherlock Herms in… Spring Break!

Previoiusly on Sherlock Herms… The Trojan Horse Mystery

“I think I have a virus,” Mom told me. “I feel puny.”

“What does puny feel like?” I asked. I was very concerned. If my mom died, who would feed me? Who would…tweet for me?

“I have chills, a sore throat, and I’m achy all over.”

“Where did you find a virus?”

“No idea. It’s a mystery.”

I excused myself to scamper back to my office where I grabbed a notebook and a purrple crayon. Then I headed back to my client. “I need to interrogate you,” I told her. “What time did you first notice you were feeling puny?”

She swallowed hard. “Last night around nine-thirty.”

“What were the symptoms?”

“I felt tired. And queasy.”

I wrote in my notebook. “Where were you prior to feeling puny?”

She reached for her water bottle and drank before answering. “I went to a book signing at the library, and then out to dinner.”

“You book signed at the library. Did you sign in the entry hall, or someplace else?”

She grabbed her water bottle. “They set me up in a room with a small stage.”

“What else was there?”

She thought about it as she drank. “They had a giant book on the floor. And a giant pink eraser. And a rack of hand puppets.” She frowned.

I gasped. “You were in the—”

“Kid’s library!” we said in unison.

She groaned. “I should have known. The library’s a Trojan horse for kiddie crud.”

And now… Sherlock Herms in Spring Break

I hunched over my desk in my huge but otherwise empty office, working on Frank’s request to add tartar sauce to his salmon-colored box on my Wonderpurr Detective Agency (known as W.A.D.) organizational chart. With the help of Peaches I had managed to convince Frank that the box was indeed salmon-colored and not pink as he was worried that pink would ruin his image as a tough guy.

As I worked I thought about sharing my office with my investigators-in-training. Nine of them plus Dori my investigator-slash-partner. I’d shared my old office with my little sister and that had been incredibly disruptive. She knocked stuff over. She sang silly little songs under her breath. She walked through the talcum powder I’d sprinkled on the floor designed to capture unauthorized paw prints. She asked eleventy-billion questions without expecting me to answer a single one. In short—she drove me crazy! I shuddered to image what it would be like to share an office with all of my brothers and sisters. I felt pretty sure Sam Spade never had to share an office with his little sister, much less his entire family.

I put down my crayons and sat back to assess my artwork.

The tartar sauce looked stupid, but then so did the multi-colored boxes and the flowers Dori insisted accompany her box, not to mention the idiotic titles each had creatively designed for themselves.

I felt a knot form in my gut. My title on the org said I was a hardboiled detective with grit in my blood. If I couldn’t promote that image to my agency personnel, I sure couldn’t promote it to my clients. I didn’t want to upset my siblings, but I needed to take control and not let them run all over me. The org chart was insignificant. No one outside the agency would see it, and if the silly titles, colored boxes and the flowers and the tartar sauce made everyone happy, so be it. But if my investigators-in-training started to supersede (my Word of the Day on my Word of the Day calendar) my position as Lead Investigator, I would be forced to shake my floofy tail and get tough.

I’d also tattle on them to Mom.

Speaking of Mom… She’d been run over by a Trojan Horse of kiddie bugs at the library and had been feeling not her self. Even though we had just moved into our house in the town of Welcome Home and there were a bazillion boxes still to be opened and emptied throughout the house, my pawrents decided they needed a break and were going away for a few days. Mom said she needed sunshine and Dad mumbled something about needing to be as far from moving boxes as possible. They had left this morning, leaving me in charge since I’m the oldest. Mom had also asked a neighbor to stop in and feed us. Not the realtor, Patty Kiss, who said she was allergic to cats, but another lady who lived on the other side of our house.

Dori poked her head inside my office door. She wore a swimsuit cover up and bounced a beach ball. She also had a fresh box of Smittens, her favorite treats. “Come on, Hwermie. We’re going to the beach.”

“The beach? But… I have to work.”

“Work?” She put her paws on her hips. “What is so impawtent? The sun is shining. The birds are singing. The beach is calling your name. Listen!”

From outside the door I heard whispers that sounded suspiciously like Peaches, Candy and Chauncie Marie. “Herrrr-man. Herrr-man. Herrr-man.”

I looked at my cod-awful org chart. It made me cranky. I didn’t want to feel cranky on such a beautiful day. “You’re right, Dori.” I tossed aside my crayons. “Let’s hit the beach.”

Dori and Candy with gal pals Sadie @3phibotticelli and @MsClaryPurrkins

Heman hangs ten.

Jesse and Frank hang out under the pier, hoping to meet girls.

Candy plays along the shoreline.

Peaches strikes a pose in the surf.

Dori the Surfin’ Girl shoots a curl.

Don’t worry, pals. While Mom is off soaking in the sunshine with Dad, we are hard at work on our next purranormal mystery.

Hope to get my next case as soon as my phone gets hooked up.

Stay tuned!

Welcome to Season Two of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries starring me, Herman @TattleCat and my lil sisfur, Dori @Adorapurr on Twitter. You can also find us on Facebook as Herman.TattleCat. And on Instagram as Wonderpurr_Life.

If you’re new to us, Welcome! You’ll find my Case Files to Season One located in my Case Note Archives . You can also Subscribe to this Wonderpurr blog by email. See the side column. Go on, I’ll wait while you look.

A new episode posts every Friday. I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s story, and if you did, let me know in the Comments below. And pleeeeze tell your friends. All of them. Even the ones you don’t like. Until next Friday…

Have a Wonderpurr Week!

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Herman TattleCat

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