Stupidity or Devolution?

You’re zooming through an alternative realm, not only of sight and sound, but also of smells as Frank just finished using the litter box. An excursion into a Wonderpurr place where fences are high enough to reach the roof, and the stars have the pawsibility of being swatted from the sky. Get ready to mark your territory—your next stop is…

Wikipedia says Devolution or backward evolution is the notion that species can revert into more primitive forms over time. Purrsonally I think it means when a hoomom’s mind goes numb with no reason when she should know better. Kinda like Mariah Carey saying, “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

But I’m not talking about Mariah Carey. I’m referring to my own hoomom.

On Thursday afternoon I was reading Seville’s latest post entitled Stupid Is as Stupid Does where his soft-hearted imbecile – aka Peep #1 – felt sorry for Nosy-Neighbour Cat and opened the kitchen window to let him in. I’ll wait while you go read his story. Wake me when you come back, and I’ll continue.

It was a day-jah moo kind of experience for me. Like I said I’d just read Seville’s post when exactly the same thing happened in my backyard.

I wanted to go outside. It was a bright sunshiney day and it’s my fweakin yard. I wanted out. Well Mom said to wait while she made herself lunch and she would join me. After making stuff to eat, of which I had serious plans to nom half of what she had on her plate, she started to open the door when she saw Chevy the stray was out there.

Mom has this reputation for taming feral cats. She’s had a lot of success with it. I may be wrong, but it is my opinion that her success kinda anaesthetized her common sense.

Chevy hasn’t been around all that long. At least not long enough to succumb to Mom’s Disneyesque delusions that all of her cats will get along, sitting around a campfire singing Kum By Yah with the scent of rolled kitty hooch filling the air.

Mom thinks all she has to do is nudge Chevy aside from the door so I can go enjoy my sunshine, but Chevy has been neutered only a week or so. You might want to shoo the kittens and puppies from the room while you read the rest of my Tale of Woe.

By the way, here’s the bass-terd’s mug shot:

Yep. You guessed it. When Mom nudged ol’ Chevy, he hissed something unprintable in a G-rated blog like our Wonderpurr.com, and attacked me. Next thing I know, we are rolling around in circles with Mom holding her lunch in one hand and her phone in the other. She reached down to pull Chevy off me and got a gash in her finger that will surely turn into a scar.

A scar that I hope reminds her FOREVER that for all of her love of cats, not every cat is as WONDERPURR as me.

She managed to get me back inside, and then took a broom and told Chevy to leave the yard. He did, but without apology for his actions.

I’m okay. Really. Kinda sore. Kinda sore at my Mom actually, for being so STOOPID. But hoomoms are like that aren’t they? Not all are the evolved species they think they are. After reading Seville’s post I’m kinda thinking his Peep #1 and my Mom are sista’s from another mista. They’ve been friends for years, so I guess maybe that explains it. Devolution is contagious!

 

About the author

Herman TattleCat

12 Comments

  • It’s too bad your human didn’t have a glass of water handy to toss at the visitor. We hope she is okay, but wonder did she go to the doctor for her finger or was it a scratch and not a bite? We hope it wasn’t a bite!

    • She had her lunch in her hand. She cudda thrown it at Chevy, but no. She insisted on eating it. It’s a scratch not a bite, but she’s gonna have a scar to remember that day by. And if it doesn’t scar…I might just chomp on her myself to make sure she never does anything that STOOPID again.

  • OH, HERMS, IT ONLY GETS WORSE AS THE HUMANS GET OLDER. THEY START TO FORGET A LOT OF THE DUMB THINGS THAT THEY DID AND HAVE TO RELEARN THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ALL OF US STRAPSKI CATS UP HERE STILL HAVE TO MONITOR OUR RAPIDLY AGING HUMAN TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE DOESN’T DO THE WRONG THING. OFTEN, WE JUST HAVE TO HOLD YOUR BREATHE AND PRAY FOR THE BEST. LOVE.

    • Woefully true, Bode. Old humans need an awful lot of supervision. Seriously, common sense just seems to go down the drain. Good thing you Strapski cats are monitoring your Momma from the Bridge. Give her a nuzzle from me. Purrrs!

  • Not just nosy neighbor cats, guys ! My gray boy Alexander goes to the vet because he’s having digestive issues. So the vet brings in a bitter-tasting pill for digestive upsets. Vet – vet tech – me – 8 lb kitty – small pill. Yup. I get chomped. Good thing, since he is “my” cat. Pill shoots across the room. Blood (mine).

    • Mary, my mom suggests you get a product called Pill Paste. It’s bacon flavored. It’s made by Earth’s Balance. Wrap it around the pill and Alexander won’t be chomping on your finger, he might actually lick his lips.

  • That Chevy sounds like he’s not one to mess with! He might be trying to move in & take over your household. You might let him know that you’re the Godfather & not him!

  • Oh Herms, we’re so sorry you had to suffer such indignity. My own Mum has that same Kumbya mentality and has had to be reminded more than once that us cats are the boss of us. Like right now my sisfur Willow is winking at Chevy’s pic! She says he’s handsome! *pushes Willow’s face away from phone* Stay strong my friend and defend your territory. Barley

    • I don’t blame my Mom much… She is easily smitten by handsome mancats. She says Chevy isn’t bad, just territorial over MY YARD after being homeless his whole life. He didn’t apologize, but he’s been forgiven. Tell Willow that Chevy is still fulla piss n vinegar. She might want to check out my other brofurs, like Nikolas, Jesse, Opie and Jack.

  • Oh. My. Mouses. Your mom, too? MOUSES! What IS it with these peeps of ours. You think they’ve been sneakin’ our nip? MOUSES!!!

    PS. Peep #1’s hand is gettin’ better. Just a little redness now on the palm. The holes Dionysus’ teeth left are still there, but she says they’ll fill in and heal over time. How’s your mum’s hand?

    • Seville, my mom has a mean looking gouge in her finger. It’s almost like an evil smile. She says its gonna scar, but she says its a reminder to not be so trusting of homeless cats who are just learning how to behave civilized.

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