cat humor

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Valentine’s Day Advice by Adorapurr
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Let Me Be Frank, Sherlock Herms
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No Big Deal, Sherlock Herms
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Welcome Home Sherlock Herms
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Lots More Behind the Scenes of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries
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More Behind the Scenes of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries
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Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes – The Dancing Ghosts Conclusion
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Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts – Part 5
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Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts – Part 4
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Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts-Part 2

Valentine’s Day Advice by Adorapurr

Hi Everyone. It’s me, Dori. *wavy paws!* Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I’m here to tell you, Valentine’s Day is all about Womance.

Womancing your hoomon, that is.

When your hoomon feels loved and appweciated, he or she rewards you with belly rubs, ear scritches and extra tweats, like my most favorite tweats in the world, Smittens.

Not that I’m saying you should womance your hoomon because you want something in return…

No wait. That is what I’m saying.

Anyway! Womance is a balancing act of Action and Gift-giving.

Actions speak louder than words. For example…spraying her coat will have her thinking of you for a long, long time.

Serenade him. Sing the song of your people at dawn. Get a fursib to accompany you. Make beautiful mewsic together!

Drape yourself over her lap while she’s eating noms and watching TV. Help her eat the noms. If she’s extra soft around the middle, sneeze all over her noms so she won’t eat them and lose extra softness. She will thank you.

If he’s dressed up to go out to dinner, rub extra hard around his legs. Be sure to distribute your fur evenly so he won’t stop thinking of you all evening. Plus the hoomon he’s with will be able to enjoy you, too.

Gifts-giving doesn’t have to be expensive. While dead mice and lizards are so last year, unless you’re Choupette Lagerfeld, Tommaso, or Tardar Sauce aka Grumpy Cat, you’re not expected to shop for your hoomon at Tiffany’s or OliveGreenDog.com  (although I highly recommend their Roach Rods and Marbled Boiled Wool Balls).

Dori’s Top Gift Suggetions for Hoomons:

Beloved old catnip mousie that you no longer want cuz it stinks.

A fat, juicy, live spider you found in the bathroom.

That lost diamond earring you hid under the sofa last year.

Help her cook dinner noms:

Or maybe she needs a mew lamp:

While it’s the thought that counts, presentation is very important. Be sure to wrap your gift in purrty red paper with hearts and a bow.

I hope some of my suggestions are helpful. And if they are, remempurr to tell everyone that it was me who thought of it first. Until next time…

Have a Wonderpurr Valentine’s Day.

I hope yoo get everything you deserve.

 

 

Let Me Be Frank, Sherlock Herms

Previously on Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries…No Big Deal.

“How could you be so rude?” Mom yelled at Dad. “She bought us toilet paper!”

“The whole house is pink,” Dad shouted back. “It’s like living inside a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I don’t care how cheap you got this house, it will cost a fortune to repaint.

I noticed Dori had returned from the litter box room. “Did you see where the lady in polka dots went?”

My little sisfur pointed to the stairs. “There.”

Frank shook his head. “She couldn’t have. Dad was standing on the bottom step. She would have to have walked right through him.”

Dori nodded. “She did! And then she walked through the mirror on the wall. I think it’s Evie Pees and she’s a ghost. Let’s get that Amazon Echo unpacked, Hwermie. We need to order pawfessional ghost hunting stuff.”

And now Part 3 of Welcome Home, Sherlock Herms

I didn’t care if the whole house was pink. And other than the joy of shredding it to pieces, I didn’t care if the toilet paper was either. My attention was on the ghost in the polka dotted dress. The one Dori called Evie Pees.

She had seemed so real! She wasn’t transparent like our ghost friend, Charley Feeble, a former detective in the 1940s who became my mentor and was now an angel because he risked his place in heaven to rescue me from hell. Maybe I needed to read some of Dori’s books on ghost hunting. Clearly I was behind in my education on spirit stuff.

Actually…between you and I…my gut twisted at the thought of dealing with more ghosts. Especially demons. I wanted to get back to my original plan to be a hardboiled detective with grit in my blood like Sam Spade, and back away from the spooky stuff I’d unexpectedly walked into thanks to Dori.  Read More

No Big Deal, Sherlock Herms

Previously on Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries…Welcome Home.

Forced to flee after I accidentally allowed demons to infest our house, we were now on our way to a new home in the Mitten State. While my fursibs were frightened about the move, I was excited. I’d already moved three times with my pawrents so I knew what to expect. The house would be bigger, better, and hopefully demon-free. Everything would be okay because we were still together as a family. The name of our new town was Welcome Home. I liked it. Made me feel warm and fuzzy about the new life we were about to begin. Then my gaze slid past the welcome sign, and my heart did a quick cartwheel; not with joy but with dread.

And now Part 2 of Welcome Home, Sherlock Herms

“The For Sale By Owner ad claimed the house is only vaguely haunted. No big deal.”

The words that came out of my Mom’s mouth startled my floofy tail skinny straight.

“What entails ‘no big deal?’” Dad wondered. Read More

Welcome Home Sherlock Herms

Midnight had come and gone. Tired from asking, “Are we there yet?” my fursibs had curled into tight balls to sleep in the back of the van. After driving for most of the day, Dad lay asleep in the passenger seat with Dori in his lap. I sat with Mom behind the wheel, enjoying the night and its dazzling display of lights. I loved seeing the full round moon in the starry sky, and felt exhilarated by the blur of street lights as we zoomed down the highway. But the huge semi-trucks thrilled me the most. They reminded me of gentle giants protecting us from being gobbled up by aliens. Hey! It could happen.

Hi! I’m Sherlock Herms, a hardboiled purranormal detective wif grit in my blood. At least I was until demons infested our home and we had to flee. Felt kinda like I’d let my family down by letting Demongate happen in the first place. Read More

Lots More Behind the Scenes of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries

AdorapurrHi everyone, it’s me Dori. *wavy paws*  I hope you’ve all had a wonderpurr week. But enough about yoo. I have exciting news. I think I’ve found a new career! I’ve received lots of praise for my talents as a pawtographer and…

Herman: Praise? You’ve been behaving like a fweakin’ pawpawrazzi!

You have the entire Wonderpurr Gang terrified to use the litter box, not to mention Mom and Dad now lock the bathroom door.

Dori: Don’t worry, Hwemie. I will still star in our Purranormal Mysteries wif yoo.

Herman: I’m the Star of–

Dori: Everyone, here are my latest wurks of art:

Herman: Okay! That’s it! I’ve had it. I’m hissed off! Dori, it isn’t a ‘wurk of art’ nor a career to take insulting photos of your family or even strangers. It’s hurtful! But since you’re young and haven’t been exposed to the world like I have, I won’t blame you. Instead, let me show you the photographs I’ve taken as an example. Read More

More Behind the Scenes of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries

AdorapurrHi everyone. It’s me, Dori! *wavy paws*

Just two more weeks until Season Two of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries debutes on January 27th. I know you’re impatient, but Hwermie and our mom say it will hopefully be well worth the wait. And if its not…don’t hiss at me. I’m only the messenger.

Last week I got to try out my new camera that Santa Claws brung me by taking sekret pikchures of Behind the Scenes around my house. I thought they were wonderpurr, but I got a lot of flack from my fambly, especially from Mom when I showed her poor cooking skillz, and from Hwermie when I showed him in the litter box.

Sorry Hwermie! Nobody said it was easy being famous.

And now on with the Show! Here are this week’s Behind the Scenes pikchures. Yoo will note there seems to be excessive pawtying going on at my house. I guess they’re trying to come down from the Christmas and Mew Year holiday high, but there’s been a lot of sniffin’ of da nip. Read More

Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes – The Dancing Ghosts Conclusion

Hi Pals! Let me be among the first to wish you a Happy Mew Year! 2017 is gonna be a great year. It’s gotta be cuz 2016 was so utterly sucky. Of course I kinda thought 2015 and 2014 were utterly sucky too, so…

Anyway, you’ve made it to the Conclusion of my first case as a purranormal detective. The conclusion of The Dancing Ghosts is special to me because I actually finished it. And I didn’t widdle my floofy britches cuz I was scared.

I hope you will enjoy the final episode of The Dancing Ghosts enough to read all of my purranormal adventures. Believe me it’s been a learning curve and I’m honored that so many of you are following me and my lil sisfur, Dori on Twitter. But don’t just follow. Let’s be furends. I appreciate having so many furends and I look forward to getting to know you in the coming year by visiting your blogs and seeing what you’ve been up to.

In the meantime…

Season Two of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries starts January 27th. You can click on the image below to read my case notes on the Conclusion of The Dancing Ghosts, or click here to visit the Archive Page where all of my Case Notes from Season One are listed.

I hope you enjoy reading my adventures. Your comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Please be sure to come back for Season Two starting January 27, 2017.

And please, have a Wonderpurr and Safe Mew Year.

~ Herman!!!

the-dancing-ghosts-2

Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts – Part 5

Hi Pals! It’s been an exciting week, getting ready for Santa Paws to slide down the chimbly on Christmas Eve and bring me stuff. This will be Candy’s first Christmas, and already Dori is filling her in on what to expect.

Speaking of what to expect… I hope you are enjoying the Case Notes from my first case, The Dancing Ghosts. In this episode, Dori got starvy cuz our client, Roland Blunden, refused to feed us and Dori forgot to bring her bag of Smittens. There was nothing edible in Blunden’s kitchen. What else could I do but approach Broom Lady who lived across the street to see if she would sell me some food?

Being a hardboiled detective with grit in my blood is hard work. I learned a lot from investigating my first case. Mostly I learned to make sure Dori never again left her Smittens behind.

Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts – Part 4

Sherlock Herms Purranormal MysteriesHi Pals! It’s been a busy week for me, resting up before Santa Paws slides down the chimbly and brings stuff for my stocking. For me the stocking is the bestest part cuz everything in it is just mine. I don’t have to share wif any of my fur sibs.

I hope you are enjoying this reviews of the case notes for my first case. I was still wet behind the ears as a detective, and the whole ghost thing had my tail in knots.

Part 4 is where I came face to face with ghosts for the first time. Not just any kind of ghosts… Party ghosts! Dozens of them, eating noms, smoking ciggies and drinking likker. Not to mention the squealy scratchy mewsic that hurt my ears!

Mark your calendars: Season Two of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries starts January 27th.

You can click on the image below to read my case notes on The Dancing Ghosts – Part Four, or click here to visit the Archive Page where all of my Case Notes from Season One are listed.

I hope you enjoy reading my adventures. Your comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Please be sure to come back for Season Two starting January 27, 2017. And please, have a Wonderpurr Day.~ Herman!!!

the-dancing-ghosts-2

Sherlock Herms Reviews Case Notes from The Dancing Ghosts-Part 2

facing-forwardIt seems like only six months ago when I first opened my Wonderpurr Detective Agency in the attic of my home, right outside my mom’s author office with its african violets and butter yellow carpet. I was full of hopes and dreams of becoming a hardboiled detective with grit in my blood so I could help my mom write mysteries. While my original plans didn’t pan out the way I’d thought they would, I learned a lot from my friend Charley. I’m now an official purranormal detective. And yeah, I think I have grit in my blood. You’d have to in order to survive some of the scary stuff I’ve been through.

Season Two of Sherlock Herms Purranormal Mysteries starts January 27th. In the meantime I’m reviewing the Case Notes from my first adventure: The Case of the Dancing Ghosts.

You can click on the image below to read Part Two, or click here to visit the Archive Page where all of my Case Notes from Season One are listed.

I hope you enjoy reading my adventures. Your comments are always welcome and appreciated.

Please be sure to come back for Season Two starting January 27, 2017. And please, have a Wonderpurr Day.~ Herman!!!

the-dancing-ghosts-2

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