A beautiful independent, self-assured princess named Adorapurr sat sunning herself beside a pond when a frog swam over to her.
“Greetings, fair maiden,” he said to her. “Let me introduce myself. My name is Freshour and I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.”
Princess Adorapurr laughed. “I wasn’t borned yesterday. I’ve heard this one before.”
“It’s true!” the frog insisted. “The witch desired me, but she was ugly with buck teeth and a wart on her nose, so I turned her away. Alas! I’ve lived under this curse for too long. But there is hope.”
“Let me guess,” said the princess. “One kiss from me and you will turn back into a pwince.”
“Exactly!” Freshour exclaimed. “My, you are as intelligent as you are pretty. And your lisp is adorable. Not at all off-putting. Although I might suggest a speech therapist as lisps are reserved for children and sadly, it won’t become you at all after you’ve shed the first dew of youth.”
Princess Adorapurr’s jaw dropped slightly, but she had been brought up Royal so she didn’t tell him to hiss off, as she would have liked to do if she’d been brought up Common.
“After you kiss me and I turn back into a prince,” Freshour continued, “we shall be married and will live Happily Ever After in a huge castle with my mother.”
Adorapurr blinked. “Your mother?”
“Absolutely! And I will make you forever happy by allowing you to prepare for me culinary meals made to my specifications as I have a rather delicate gastrointestinal system. You may also clean my royal robes—by hand, mind you. No sending them out to the village dry cleaners. They do a horrible job! And, best of all, you may bear my children. I’m thinking twenty would assure my lineage carries far into the future. What do you think of that?”
Later that night, while Princess Adorapurr dined on frog legs, she laughed and said,
“I don’t fweakin’ think so!”