I Have A Question

Hi evfurrybuddy, this is Dori *wavy paws* host of Tuesdays with Dori. Did yoo know this coming Caturday, January 22nd, is National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day. Being the impatient puss I am, I decided not to wait another four days to get answers to the top five questions that have been burning my bwain for a vewy long time. So without further delay, here goes...

DORI: Momma, why do I lisp? 

KIM: Because God made you that way. Truthfully, when you were still a baby your meow sounded raspy, almost like a human's lisp. I created your lisp on social media to set you apart from all the other adorable tabbies.

DORI: Am I adopted?

KIM: You arrived in my yard with your family when you were three months old. I took you all in to find you homes. I put your family on PetFinder, and I had numerous people wanting to adopt you, but we had already fallen in love with our little "Peanut" as Daddy called you, so we adopted you and your father, Nikolas. 

DORI: Why do I always have watery eyes and a runny nose?

KIM: Your birth mother, Annie, had feline herpes. It affected the sight in one of her eyes. Unfortunately she passed it onto her kittens, and that is primarily the cause of your weepy face. Also, you are allergic, like the rest of us in this house, to pine. Our home here in FloryDa is surrounded by pine trees, so we are all sneezing and itchy and watery. 

DORI: Explain again why we can't send Wabbit back to Turkey?

KIM: Rabbit is a purebred Turkish Van from Michigan, not Turkey. I'm sorry he's a pain in your patootie, and I'm doing the best I can to keep him away from you. It's not that he's bad, he's just bored. Plus you, being petite, trigger his Turkish Van hunter genes. He thinks it's fun to chase and grab you. I am searching for ways to stop this, but until then, you must stay in the Senior Room with the others.

DORI: Okay. I have one more question, but it's in several parts.

KIM: Go ahead.

DORI: Is there another word for synonum? Also...

• Is it possible to be totally partial?
• What's another word for thesaurus?
• If swimming is so good for yoor figure, how do yoo explain whales?
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 
• And finally, is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

KIM: I think we're done here.

Until Next Time...