5 Reasons Why You Want to be Alone on Valentine's Day

 

Maybe it’s a Sign, but today is Valentine’s Day and it’s also the debut of my new Tuesdays with Dori feature: Wake-Up Call. To me, a wake-up call is something that happens to make yoo realize that, if yoo are not happy, maybe it’s time for yoo to take action to change a situation, be it in your attitude or what’s going on in your life.

What better day than this could I possibly talk to yoo about being single and alone?

First, let me introduce the elephant in the woom: being single on Valentine’s Day. There is nothing wrong with being single. I’m single, kinda. My boifren Pwetzel lives in Wales. Not much womance going on since we only see each other on Instagwam. Anyway, I hope by now women all over the world have moved past the notion that being a couple is mandatory.

The biggest misconception about Valentine’s Day is that it’s meant for lovers only, which painfully pokes at those who are spending February 14th uncoupled with the idea that they should be sulking in a corner.

Nonsense. February 14th was originally a Christian feast day honoring a Christian martyr named Saint Valentine who supposedly restored sight to the blind daughter of his jailer, and then wrote a letter to her signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell before his execution. I wasn’t there, but I’m pretty sure the girl wasn’t sulking in the corner over not getting some flowers and a box of chocolates.

So, for those of yoo who are moaning about not having a womantical pawtner for this one day out of the year, let me reassure, yoo are better off. Why? 

Here are my 5 Reasons to Celebrate Being Alone on Valentine’s Day.

1. Yoo can buy the biggest, most expensive box of chocolates yoo can afford and not have to share a single one with anybuddy else. Not only can yoo take small bites out of several and leave the rest for later, but yoo can enjoy your favorite ice cweam in between bites of  rich ganache, velvety caramel, luscious praliné, refreshing froot, and crunchy nuts.

2. Being single on Valentine’s Day also means yoo can enjoy a Nora Ephron movie marathon uninterrupted. Think of it. Yoo can start off with You’ve Got Mail, followed by Sleepless in Seattle, and finish stwong with When Harry Met Sally and not once have to listen to yoor partner make snide remarks about Meg Ryan like my daddy does to my momma. Yoo can even hit the pause button right in the middle of the famous orgasm scene and chat with a girlfriend for an hour before hitting play to resume.

3. Yoo don’t have to smush yoor foots into stiletto heels to wear with a sexy dress so yoor pawtner can show yoo off at the restaurant they chose for yoor Valentine’s Day dinner. If yoo wear high heels every day they can cause toe deformities such as hammertoes or claw toes – I have those despite never wearing high heels a day in my life - bunions, corns and calluses and ingrown toenails. Do your foots a favor and stay home. Wear bedwoom slippurrs with yoor favorite bathrobe. If yoo want to feel dwessed up, put on bright lipstick, but please don’t ruin the vibe by bwushing yoor hair.

@Frangipanibine

4. If yoo like flowers, yoo can order the kind yoo weally like to be delivered in a fancy box with a ribbon. Years ago my momma worked with a single lady who did just that. But not for Valentine’s Day. She did it at least once a month and had the flowers delivered to her office so she could enjoy them all day long.

@sarahjessicaparker

5. And finally, if yoo are still feeling cranky about being alone on Valentine’s Day, who better to give yoo a reason to celebrate being single than this girl right here:  

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty, sexy, and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with." — Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Well, there yoo have it. My 5 Reasons Why You Want to Be Alone on Valentine’s Day.
If yoo are wonderpurring how I’m spending Valentine’s Day, I will be on the couch with my single sisfurs Peaches, Candy, Elly, Gidget and ChauncieMarie watching Sex and the Kitty, nomming a bag of Fwiskies Cheezy treats with a side odor of Inaba Churu’s.

Before I end today's post, I want to pass along information from Miz Nikki at Cat Lady Academy. She has found out that Instagram and maybe other social media places have banned the following hashtags: ValentinesDay, Kissing and Date.If yoo use those hashtags in yoor posts, yoor post won't be shown to yoor audiences. Using the words themselves without a hashtag is fine, but just be warned that using them in a hashtag is forbidden. So if yoo've posted a post using those hashtags, go back and change them. 

So, how are yoo spending Valentine’s Day? And what flavor of ice cweam will yoo order to accompany yoor box of chocolates?

Thank yoo for joining me for my first Wake-Up Call.

Until Next Time…