HERMAN: Welcome
aboard the ST. HERMAN. I am your captain - Herman!!! <~ I never go anywhere
without my three exclamation points. Because the Wonderpurr Gang has been
working extra hard developing Kick the Litter for It's a Wonderpurr Life, I
thought they could use a break (especially Dori). Do something fun in the fresh
air. So, I decided to take them whale watching.
RABBIT: We’re hunting whales? Isn’t that illegal?
HERMAN: What? No—
RABBIT: You mean it’s legal to hunt whales?
DORI: *tugs on Herman’s floofy tail* Will there be wefweshments served?
HERMAN: Yes—
RABBIT: I’m pretty sure you’re wrong about it being legal to hunt whales.
HERMAN: No, I meant Yes, I have a catered banquet. No, we aren’t hunting whales. We are watching them.
RABBIT: Sounds boring. Unless we’re watching them do kinky stuff.
HERMAN: In 1972, the United States Congress passed the Marine Mammal Protection Act making it illegal for any person residing in the United States to kill, hunt, injure or harass all species of marine mammals, regardless of their population status.
RABBIT: We’re cats. So… I’m guessing we can legally harass whales.
HERMAN: You’re giving me a headache.
DORI: Now yoo know why I have a westwaining odor against him.
OPIE: I call dibs on driving.
HERMAN: I’m driving. I’m the captain.
OPIE: Bet if I cry Mom will make me the captain.
HERMAN: You can’t be the captain of MY BOAT.
FRANK: I don’t give a flying squirrel about watching whales.
Where’s the buffet?
RABBIT: Hey Herms. I’m Googling where it’s illegal to hunt
whales. It says Oklahoma. Are we sailing to Oklahoma? If not, it’s okay if we hunt
them.
HERMAN: My headache is turning into a migraine.
RABBIT: Seriously, look – right here it says Oklahoma has a law which prohibits whale hunting. It is one of the only places to have nearly no
whale hunting incidents.
GIDGET: *Googling
Oklahoma laws* It’s also against the law to read a comic book while operating a
motor vehicle.
HERMAN: We aren’t
going to Oklahoma.
K.C.: *waves pawphone*
Good thing, cuz it’s illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your
boots.
CANDY: Google
says people who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed
if they do it in Oklahoma.
PEACHES: *reading pawphone* According to Section 21-1700 of Oklahoma laws, it’s illegal for any person to promote, engage in, or be employed at a bear wrestling exhibition or horse tripping event. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall, upon conviction, be guilty of a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment in the county jail for a period not exceeding one year, or by a fine of not more than $2,000.00 or both.
RABBIT: Pretty sure if we get a bear to wrestle and a
horse to trip, the Mayor of Oklahoma will be too busy with that and look the
other way while we harass the whales.
HERMAN: You’re
really enjoying yourself, aren’t you?
RABBIT: And to
think we haven’t yet left the dock.
HERMAN: Everyone the buffet is open! Grab a hamburger and
enjoy the show. I paid extra for these whales to perform what’s known as a Bubble
Net, just to entertain you.
CHEVY: I hear Oklahoma
will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
HERMAN: We’re
done with the weird Oklahoma laws. I’m going up to the captain’s cabin… and
locking my door.
DORI: Can I
come with yoo? I think my westwaining odor against Wabbit will cover yoo, too.
RABBIT: Hey
Herms! Will we be sailing past Norway on our way to Oklahoma, cuz Google says it’s legal for male cats to be neutered, but
against the law for females to be spayed. I know what you’re thinking, men:
nor-way! Ha-ha. Get it? Wait, Herms!!! Come back! I have some more weird cat laws.
a tail light????
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahaha. Loads of fun. You need to link this post to Happy Tuesday. It's a happy post.
ReplyDeleteHave a purrfect day and week. My best to your mom. ♥
Oh dear Herman, no whale watching after all? Did you get totally sidetracked to Oklahoma?
ReplyDeleteWatching prairie dogs there maybe.
Great post! I nearly choked on my gin and tonic at KC's remark!!
ReplyDeleteActually, and this is true, a farmworker was fined for being caught on Dartmoor with the hind legs of a sheep in his boots. That was a lot of years ago but it probably still happens in the remoter areas.
I don't think Oklahoma treats their feral and stray cats very well.
ReplyDeleteDang, that was a whale of a good time!!!! Hey, I do like that ugly faces law!
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful adventure. I think Periwinkle & Stinky should consider going whale watching if they haven't already. With 180 adventures, it is now impossible to remember them all. Loved the dialog between your group. Give Dori a kiss from me. Warm hugs, Janet and XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, angel Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer, Kizmet, Audrey & Raleigh
ReplyDeleteWell, as long as you're just WATCHING the whales, we're good with that! As for those crazy cat rules, the three bells one cracked us up. Because we guess TWO bells wouldn't properly warn the birds??? MOL
ReplyDeleteThose are some weird laws! I'll make sure I never go to those places...especially Oklahoma! ~Ernie
ReplyDeleteWe always love when Hwermie makes an appearance!
ReplyDelete