A Wonderpurr Week of Hail, Graboids, Turtles and Hurt Paws

Hi evfurrybuddy, Welcome to another Wonderpurr Week. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* 

This past week my Momma woke up with a hurt paw, so I have decided to wecord my weekly weport. For those of yoo who have a stwuggle understanding my meow, I have added a twanscript at the very bottom. Hope yoo enjoy! Love, Dori

If yoo cannot understand my Meow, I have asked my sekkatary to add twanscripts below.

Hi everfurrybuddy, it’s me, Dori. Wavy Paws!

Well, it’s been a Wonderpurr week at my house, the place where I live. After much drama over getting our microwave oven replaced, Momma and Daddy are now able to reheat their coffee and noms without overly theatrical sighs of frustration.

Yoo see, a couple weeks ago Daddy pulled the handle off the microwave. And not on purpose. I recall him standing there with the handle in his hand, just staring at it like it was a Sign that the Apocalypse was on its way and thank goodness because this was the last straw, and he was done with fixing stuff that he never thought would get broken when we bought this Fweakin Lemon almost three years ago. I’m paraphrasing here because I’m not allowed to say bad words but… let me tell yoo I’ve learned a lot of ‘em since we moved here in the summer of 2020.

Anyway, after two trips to Home Depot, two trips to Lowes, and three trips to Best Buy, Daddy finally had the right microwave that would not only fit in the space carved out for it in 2006 when the house was built, but also the door would open. I guess that’s a big deal, doors opening to allow noms to come and go. Whatever. I prefer my noms at room temperature thankyoovewymuch. I guess the best part was that he ended up buying the discontinued floor model and they were so ashamed that he had had to come back three times for them to get the sale right, they knocked $150 off the price. He paid less for the microwave than he has for some of the fancy dinners he’s taken Momma to over the past couple of years.

This past week was also a time of thunderboomers complete with ice falling from heaven. It’s true! One minute we were hot n steamy like one of them Hook n Ladder sammiches from Firehouse Subs, the next the sky got dark, and the wind started to blow, and water poured down on our house like Jesus had started a bath up in heaven but got a phone call and left the water running. I’m serious! It was a heckuva gusher, and the really amazing part was when all Hail broke loose. Since Daddy parks the cars in the driveway because the garage is home to Chevy and my daddy Nikolas, I recall him looking at Momma with kinda wild eyes, asking if she thought the ice chips would dent their car. And I recall Momma giving him one of her Meowied Too Long looks and saying the hail is the size of one piece of crushed ice. I’ve seen seagulls crap larger on your windshield.

So that was the end of the discussion.

We get a tremendous amount of deliveries at our house from Amazon to the point where Daddy wondered if maybe Momma bought stock in the company. This past week a Graboid was delivered that supposedly massages yoor neck if yoo let it anywhere near yoo… which I will not. Sowwy. I just don’t trust anything that has that many foots and are trying to rub yoor furs. However, Opie likes it and ChauncieMarie likes it, and apparently Wabbit likes it, but only to chew on. As yoo can see from the video chewing can be a hazard where the Graboid will grab yoor lower lip and pinch it.

On Saturday Daddy dragged Momma off to the local Turtle Festival at the beach that raises awareness about trash in the ocean and how it kills wildlife, especially turtles. Our local beach is narrow with cinnamon colored sand that is actually made of tiny shells, not real sand where turtles love to bury their eggs. So humans will find those nests and rope them off so no one steps on the eggs. They’re buried real deep but that unfortunately won’t stop predators. Anyway, Daddy made a donation and got a folder filled with information and stickers to put on his car, and he also got a turtle stuffie wearing a red hoodie. Momma named him Gamble after the Gamble Rogers State Park that was sponsoring the event. And when she came home she immediately gave Gamble to Wabbit – who of course bit the poor guy’s neck. I feel for Gamble, coming to his new Forever Home and immediately getting attacked by the notorious AssWabbit.

Saturday was also the Gotchversary of Peaches. I’m not gonna tell yoo her age cuz us wimmen don’t talk about that kind of stuff, but we got tunafish for noms and later Churu’s, so it was kinda like I was getting my birthday celebrated all over again. And then the next day Amazon delivered three Feltcaves. Me and Peaches immediately jumped in and made sure our scents were embedded in the soft fabric. The third cave is for Wabbit to do a commercial for Feltcave company, but so far he’s being a real Ass because he’s ignoring it. Figures. Momma wants him to play in it, so of course he won’t.

I do have some most excellent news to share with yoo. I have found a new Dolly Meow. Yasss! Dolly Meow 2.0 was sent to me by my momma’s dear sister-friend Auntie Karen who is the momma of Tigger who won the very first Golden AssRabbit Awards. Dolly Meow 2.0 is a little catnip toy in the shape of an Easter Bunny. Actually, there are two, one is pink and one is yellow, but I play with them the same. Momma heard me crying with delight the other day while I was dancing around the pink Dolly Meow and when I was done, I shoved her under the bathroom closet door for safe keeping, just like I did with the original Dolly Meow. Then Momma saw me playing with the yellow Dolly and was able to get it on video. See how happy I am playing with her? So now yoo who have been sending me messages of concern about my loss of Dolly Meow can simmer down and take a deep breath. I have moved on and have a good relationship with not one but two Dolly Meows.

This weekend Daddy has been keeping score at the LPGA ladies golf course for a college championship. His friend who looks and acts like Joe Pesci from Goodfellas asked him to help volunteer for two days in a row. They left the house at 6:30 in the morning! Momma is barely functionable at that hour, but she made sure he had noms for his pocket and coffee to go.

Meanwhile Momma has a hurt right paw. No idea why its hurting but she can’t hold anything heavy and says it feels like a young female executive who is trying to play ball with the Big Dogs in the Corporate World shook her hand and squeezed it so hard she broke Momma’s fingers. This actually happened to Momma many years ago. Not actually the broken finger’s part but Momma said she came pretty darn close that she still remembers how she couldn’t use her hand for the next few days.

Anyway, Momma has consulted Dr. Google about her mysterious injury – because she cannot recall doing anything to harm it – and so far, symptoms for tendonitis, sprains, dislocation, carpel tunnel, and osteoarthritis all apply. Purrsonally, I think Momma has been trying to use the handheld can opened too much and really needs to remember that she bought an electric one at Christmas.

Anyway, that’s all that’s been going on here at my house, where the Momma’s are not as strong as they think they are, the Daddy’s are braced for whatever gets broken next, and all the kitties are pretty Wonderpurr.

Until next time, spread the laughter share the cheer lets be happy while we’re here.