It's All Fun and Games Until the Kitten Grows Up

 

 

DORI: Welcome to Kick the Litter, a new feature here on It’s a Wonderpurr Life where members of our family, comprised of cats from varying backgrounds, generations, and breeds, gather each week to mix humor with intelligent debate over Hot Topics that pertain to not only us, but to cats in general all over the world. Hi evfurrybuddy, I’m yoor host, Dori, the Baba Wawa of the cat blogging world. *wavy paws*

HERMAN: Each week we choose our topics with the intention of educating human caretakers, many of whom have the wrong impression about caring for cats. Sadly, it’s an uphill battle, but we hope our debates will bring awareness and open dialogues among humans to benefit us all. Today’s Hot Topic is one that hits home with our family.

CRUEL ABANDONMENT OF UNWANTED FUR KIDS

CANDY: Over the past few weeks we’ve heard several conversations between my parents over someone they know who got rid of their cat or dog because it grew into something that didn’t fit into the life they envisioned with their pet.

OPIE: I hate that word. Pet. It makes us sound like we’re possessions. Owned, like a lamp or a couch.

CANDY: We are family. That’s how we should be thought of, but unfortunately too many humans don’t think of us that way. How many of us remember being reject—

RABBIT: <zooms onto couch with a felt mouse in his mouth; drops it in Herman’s lap> Throw it! Throw it!

HERMAN: I’m not throwing it. We’re doing a Kick the Litter episode on people giving up their fur kids when they’re no longer cute little kittens.

RABBIT: Bummer. But why’s that on our Hot Topic list? We all got homes.

KC: Actually, we all have homes here because some of us were abandoned by our first humans.

RABBIT: First humans? Like… cave people?

DORI: Oh cod, he’s going to do it again. He’s going to hijack our conversation with ridiculous information that has no bearing on our Hot Topic

HERMAN: Here. Fetch! <flings the felt mouse.>

Opie loves his favorite ball

RABBIT: <remains seated> Yah, naw man. I’m good. So, who among us lived with cave people before they moved in with Dadders and our momanager? I bet Opie did.

OPIE: What? No! I— Why would you think I lived with cave people?

RABBIT: You walk around with that dumb ball in your mouth, crying like you’re hunting and trying to attract prey. Gotta be a cave thing.

OPIE: You know nothing about cave men. You’ve never even met one.

RABBIT: Don’t have to meet one. MY DNA simmers with information of what my ancestors did all the way back to the start of time.

HERMAN: What the Friskies are you talking about?

RABBIT: You should know, bro. I’m talkin’ ‘bout being an intelligent, purebred Turkish Van. Oh wait. You’re not a purebred. Sadly, you’re Not-Van genes have clouded your ability to travel back in time through your DNA-memory-genes and know exactly what our ancestors experienced. Turkish Vans have been around for centuries. My breed is the oldest on record. Don’t believe me? Gogle it.

HERMAN:<snickers behind paw> Okay, I’ll Gogle it later.

CANDY: Let’s get back on topic. Who among us remembers being rejected by the people they thought loved them?

RABBIT: Me.

DORI: Will yoo please stop being silly? We are twying to have a serious conversation.

RABBIT: I am serious. I still remember cuddling up with my fur mom, and enjoying my life in the home I was born in. I had my bed, and my bowl, and toys. I knew the smells of everyone in the house. Life was good. And then BAM! I’m thrown into a car and given to strangers who put me in another car and drove for hours and hours – through three or four states. I read it’s illegal to cross state lines with someone you’ve catnapped. <gasps> I’ve been catnapped!

HERMAN: We understand your trauma, Rab. But you weren’t abandoned, or catnapped. Your breeder sold you.

RABBIT: Sold me? <moans>

OPIE: Word choice, Herms. Word choice.

KC: Guys, I was asked to participate in this discussion because of my past trauma, but if it means playing straight man to another AssRabbit comical routine, I don’t wanna be here, so I’m gonna go take a nap.

CANDY: Don’t go, honeysmoochies. You have so much to contribute to this episode.

RABBIT: You could do worse than be my straight man, Kevin Coopurr. I’ve got over ten thousand—

EVERYONE: Followers on Instagram. Yes, we know!

HERMAN: KC, don’t leave. Rabbit, if you want to participate in this conversation without nonsense, you’re welcome to stay. But one wise crack and you’re out. Seriously, dude. Close your mouth and open your ears. You might learn something.

RABBIT: Pffft! Everyone is so sensitive. Just trying to bring a little humor to our readers.

CANDY: So, let me ask my questions again. Who among us remembers being rejected by the people they thought loved them? That’s your cue, honeysmoochies.

KC with Honeybear

KC: Well, I’m trying to forget my past family because their rejection traumatized me, but it’s been difficult. I can’t recall exactly how long I was alone and abandoned, living in the woods. One of the downsides of us cats not processing time like people do is a disjointed sense of time. But I know I went a long while without food. I’m a big boy. Need my noms and lots of ‘em. But… I had no experience on how to fend for myself. I didn’t know how to hunt. I remember a chipmunk laughing at me from two feet away.

RABBIT: What’s a chipmunk?

KC: It’s like a squirrel only smaller. 

OPIE: Do you have any idea why you lost your home?

KC with his new pal Frank

KC: Actually, it wasn’t until I moved in with all of you that our mom figured it out. You may have noticed that I’m kinda touchy-feely. I enjoy cuddling, and being pet. Maybe a little too much. Kinda obsessed. I’m big on ankle rubbing, but I guess that’s not a good thing when a human is walking, and I cross in front of them. I don’t mean to trip anyone, but I’m always hungry. So, if someone, like Mom, is walking toward the kitchen, I’m hurrying to make sure I’m not left out in case she hands out food.

HERMAN: Yeah, tripping our pawrents is not a good thing.

KC: Right, but I’m still having a rough time getting over that. It’s like I’m such a pleaser, that touching someone, even when they’re walking, makes me feel like I’m a part of their life. Anyway, I got kicked a lot when I was younger. Mostly by the man I lived with when I was very young, but then everyone else in the house would kick me when I raced them to the kitchen. My side hurt a lot. But instead of making me avoid them, I … I tried harder to make them like me. I mean, it sounds crazy, but they were the only family I knew. I didn’t realize I was doing anything wrong. I would crawl into bed with them to cuddle, but if they weren’t in the mood to hug on me, I’d dig into the bed near their arms to get them to pull me close. But that just made them mad, and I’d get thrown off the bed.

DORI: Yoo poor baby.

KC: Momma figured it out right away after she recused me. So, when I come to lie with her and I dig, that’s my signal that I’m feeling needy, and she pulls me close to hug on me.

CANDY: Do you remember your last day with those humans?

KC: There was an old lady they called Gramma who came to live with them. She had three legs, one of which was detached from her body when she was sitting. Anyway, she got up and was walking slowly toward the kitchen. I ran to show her the way since she was new. She startled, and screeched kinda loud. I guess she didn’t like cats. She tried to smack me with her extra leg, and lost her balance. She fell on me, and I yowled in pain. But that was nothing compared to what the man did when he saw me under her. He kicked me pretty hard. I tried to get away, but he was yelling and making a mad red face. He kicked me right out of the back door. I tried to run back inside. I’d never been outside before, but he kicked me right back out and slammed the door. I ran around and around the outside for several days, trying to get back inside, but no one would let me in. Then he turned the hose on me and threw stones. He’s the reason why I was so afraid of humans that it took our mom two years to lure me close enough to capture me. Men still scare me, but I love our daddy. Anyway, one day a big dog appeared in the yard and chased me over the fence. Since he was outside all the time, I couldn’t go back, so I had no choice but to keep moving. Besides food, I missed the most was having a family. The raccoons were nice, especially one called Honeybear. She let me hang out with her. Even let me rub against her. Maybe she thought I was a raccoons because of my fur colors.

RABBIT: <jumps off couch to fetch his felt mouse, brings it to KC> I’m real sorry, dude. My heart hurts for you.

Herman's bad haircut from vet

HERMAN: We all hurt for him. The only one of us who went through similar physical trauma might be Frank. He has bad hips because of the damage done to him by someone kicking before he came to live in our home. I think the rest of us were either born in a colony, or accidently lost our families, like I did. I traveled with a man who drove a truck. One day he opened the cab door, and I jumped out and ran. Never saw him again. But I was on the road a long time, and my long fur got soaked by tree sap. It hardened and I ended up with a turtle shell on my back. When Mom found me she took me to the vet to get me shaved nekked. I was about eight months old at the time.

DORI: Why do hoomons do that? Throw us away? There are a lot of good hoomons who might adopt us. Why not take us to a shelter instead of kicking us out?

HERMAN: I think there are a lot of decent people who do take unwanted fur-kids to the shelters. But unfortunately, like Opie said earlier, there are many who think of us as inanimate objects and just throw us out when they don’t want us anymore.

CANDY: Or they get us as kittens because they like the idea of having a cute lil ball of fur to cuddle. But then we grow up, and are not so cute and tiny.

Baby Opie

OPIE: I was three months old when our mom grabbed me from the backyard where she saw me eating raccoon kibble beside a momma fox and her kit. I'd never had a home. I was very tiny for my age because I was living off of grass and leaves. I insisted on eating vegetables and salad for the first couple of weeks after Mom rescued me. She had to teach me to eat meat. I didn't like it at first. Can you imagine?

Dori and twin Patsy

DORI: I was three months too, but I was with my fur pawrents and my twin sisfur and twin brofurs. Momma Annie brought us to the yard that smelled like raccoons. There was food there. When my future hoomon momma saw all of us she kinda fweaked out. There was six of us! But she got everyone homes, and I was lucky to get to stay with my daddy, Nikolas. 

Candy newly rescued

CANDY: I was probably a year old when I arrived at Casa Wonderpurr. That was almost eight years ago, but I remember feeling sick all the time because food was hard to find. I recently saw my rescue photo that Mom took of me the day she caught me. I was so skinny! Maybe that’s why I’m a bit too plump now. When you have starved, it’s something you don’t easily forget. I know I eat too much, but I have a little voice in my head that tells me, you better eat now because something might happen, and you could starve again.

KC: <throws paws around Candy, licks her neck> Nothing is ever going to happen. When you’ve found the right Forever Home, your people consider you family. And here, you are not only family, but you’re also my best girl.

CANDY: <purrs> And you’re my best boy.

HERMAN: So, I guess this conversation has no real solution until laws are put in place that prevent people from treating their fur kids like objects instead of living, breathing members of the family. It's illegal to dump your child on the street because you can't control the kid. It should be the same for cats and dogs, and alike.

RABBIT: May I add that being born a purebred doesn't protect us from a similar fate. My breed is pricey, and yet Turkish Vans end up in shelters or even found on the streets because our breed is not like most other cat breeds. We are a freakin' handful. Newbie cat owners wouldn't think of adopting a Savannah or a Serval, or even a Bengal without experience. But Turkish Vans are new here in Ameowica. Only here about thirty years, or so. People see us and think we are like Turkish Angoras, but we're not. We are highly intelligent, and need a lot of interaction like dogs. We fetch. We open doors and cupboards. We plot. We figure things out. We are big, up to twenty pounds. And we are strong. But some people just see the kitten and think it's going to be all cuddly and behaved. I don't cuddle much, except when I'm in the mood. And the urge to hunt is still strong in me, despite never having a day where I was denied food. 

DORI: <moves to sit closer to KC> Don't yoo put the bitey on my neck, Wabbit. I still have my restwaining odor against yoo.

RABBIT: My point is, people should do their research before buying a kitten or a puppy. Meet the breeder. Meet the kitten's parents. Spend time watching the kitten interact with the breeder and maybe their family. Mom and Dadders weren't allowed to do that with my breeder. They met in a parking lot and I got handed off. Probably because I was a handful even at three months and my breeder was ready to send me on my way. It doesn't matter. Mom says she still would have adopted me. I won the lottery because I got adopted by experienced cat people who do not toss someone out just because they don't fit in with the general notion that kittens grow into lazy cats who lay around all day and sleep. Sorry about me trying to hijack the conversation before. I was just trying to make you laugh, and maybe like me. I'm kinda lonely cuz nobody wants to play with me. If Dadders is off playing hit balls with sticks, and Mom is in her office on the computer, I just lie around and wait for something -- or someone -- to walk by. I really don't mean to hurt anyone. I'm just... being me.

HERMAN: Well said, little bro. And just for the record, we do like you. Especially when you're hanging out with us and not trying to jump on our backs.

DORI: Or dwag us by the neck into yoor lair. <rubs neck>

OPIE: Let us know in the comments your opinions or experience with rescuing a fur kid who may have been thrown out or abandoned.

HERMAN: To everyone joining us today, thank you for your time. If you’ve enjoyed today’s show, I invite you to share it with those who may also enjoy our panel discussions. And please consider adding your email to our list – located on the sidebar – so you don’t miss any upcoming episodes of Kick the Litter.

DORI: Thank yoo evfurrybuddy for joining us today. Until Next Time…