Remembering ChauncieMarie, French Matriarch of the Wonderpurr Gang

ChauncieMarie, the French matriarch of the Wonderpurr Gang, who epitomized a joyous, exuberant and stylish influence over her adopted bourgeois family, has died. While she preferred to keep her age a mystery, it is believed she was eight months shy of celebrating her 20th anniversaire.

Though not inclined to speak of her past, a surprise dinner of mackerel to celebrate her tenth year with her forever family had her reminiscing about how she’d once been filled with too much joie de vivre that led her into the arms of a handsome but homeless rogue by the name of LePark. 

Without going into detail, she’d survived by begging and stealing, until she found mercy from a family who gave her a small cardboard pied-à-terre. The family called her Chauncy, thinking she was a boy – a rather fat boy as by then she was clearly enceinte with twin girls. 

Though grateful to them for saving her life, she knew she could not stay, especially when they allowed their little boys to name her daughters Bucket and Barney. Quelle horreur!

Freshly arrived at what would become her Forever Home,
ChauncieMarie loved shoes, especially Christian Louboutin.
Sadly, her new family preferred cheap rubber flipflops.
Zut alors!

When her petites filles were on their way to becoming young ladies, albeit little heathens as they loved to hunt mice in the adjacent field (clearly, they’d inherited their father’s proletariat DNA) the mysterious French girl Chauncy bid them adieu and set out to make a better life for herself. She did not have to go far. The chateau across the road recognized her as a well-heeled aristocrat with a mysterious past and changed her name to ChauncieMarie.

Struck that her adopted family desperately needed refinement, ChauncieMarie flicked back her left ear in what would become her trademark display of cultured elegance ala a feathery fascinator and went to work. For the next seventeen years she taught us that each day is a gift to celebrate, no matter what maladies plague your aging body. She loved her brothers and sisters without judgment, and upon retiring to Florida, spent her final years basking in sunshine.

On June 11TH, upon murmuring ‘Une vie honorable es tune vie éternelle’ – An honorable life is an eternal life - ChauncieMarie gained her heavenly wings. She is deeply missed.