2021 GOLDEN ASSRABBIT AWARD CEREMONY

 

Welcome to the 1st Golden AssRabbit Awards ceremony. I'm your host, Rabbit aka Hermes_LuxuryCat on Instagram. I'm also the Original #AssRabbit <- note my hashtag. I never go anywhere without it.

When I put out the call for nominations, I never expected this much competition. We had a total of twenty-three Bad Furs send in their stories. So many great stories that me and my momanager realized quickly that there was no way in hekk that we could choose just one Golden AssRabbit.

Okay, simmer down. I know you're anxious to know who the winners are, but I gotta tell my story. No fair scrolling down. Just WAIT FOR IT! Sheesh.

Proud of my Black Cat DNA

Hi evfurryone. It's me, Dori! *wavy paws* Sorry I didn't post this on Tuesday, but my brofur Wabbit was wurking his Golden AssWabbit Awards, and if I posted then the pals who visited our blog to vote would get confoozed. 

Anyway! Did yoo know I have Black Cat DNA? It's true!

My momma was black and beeUteeful. Her name is Annie. On a cold Decempurr night, she arrived on her own to my future forever home's backyard, looking for food and shelter for her family, comprised of her husband, and four 2-month-old kittens. She found raccoon noms, but when my future Meowmy saw her, she put out special kitteh noms. 

Alas, my future pawrents were leaving the next morning to spend Christmas in Michigan. Momma told our sitter, Michelle, to leave extra noms out for Annie. So when Momma returned, not only did she see Annie, but she also met the rest of us!

My daddy, Nikolas:

GOLDEN ASSRABBIT VOTING BEGINS

Welcome to the 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards - PAWBLIC VOTING ROUND. I'm your host, Hermes LuxuryCat, aka Rabbit aka The Original AssRabbit.

While not everyone is a born AssRabbit like me, I feel, given time, they all can achieve my high standards.

With that said, I asked four unidentified judges to review the Nomination Bios, and, using my Soopurr Doopurr AssRabbit Stress-O-Meter, divide them into three categories:

After the Nominees were divided into the categories, they were asked to pick their choice for the winner of the Golden AssRabbit trophy. The winner was based on which Fur caused the blood pressure to raise for three out of four judges.

The reason why we had the Judges pick the winner of the Golden AssRabbit is to avoid popularity conflicts. Listen, we had to go the Ends of the Earth to find at least two judges who have no idea who you guys are. Yeah, I know. Nearly impossible! We were one step from knocking on the door to the Sunset Codger Care Rest Home to ask for Judge volunteers when finally two clueless hoomons crossed our path. 

Since 50% of the Judges did not know the history of the nominees, they could only vote based on the entry alone. 

Based on your votes, the winner of each Category will win a Trophy. 

Now, I invite you to cast your votes. 

Under each Category, vote for your First Choice. One per category. 

i.e. You are casting 3 votes total.

You can submit your votes two ways:

1. Leave a comment in this post. We will not publish any of the votes, so have no worries your vote remains confidential. 

OR

2. Vote by Direct Message in Instagram @Hermes_LuxuryCat.

Remember - you are voting for one who qualifies best for each category below:

THE GOLDEN ASSRABBIT AWARD NOMINATION BIOGRAPHIES

You know how "they" say it's lonely at the top? Well, it's also lonely being the only AssRabbit in my house. 

All my fursibs are so goodie goodie. It's exhausting for me to keep the atmosphere charged with HD and NE. That's High Drama and Negative Energy to those of you not living with a purebred AssRabbit.

Anyway, I thought since I crave acknowledgement for bad behavior, I figured there are other furs out there who also needed to be recognized. Thus, I created the (drum roll please)

How We Celebrate Friday the 13th at Our House

For too many years the world has turned inside out at the mention of Friday the 13th. Superstitious hoomons believe stepping on cracks will break their mother's backs, and walking under ladders will bring eleventy-zillion years worth of bad luck. But by far Black Cats get blamed the most for bringing bad luck to stupid hoomons who honestly bring on their own misfortune by being just plain idiots.

Black cats have always been celebrated at our home. Mom and Dad have shared their lives with countless black cats that went by the names Whisper, Sami, Cookie, Nicholas, Noah, Charlie, Etta, Elly, Gidget, Jesse. Sami, Nikolas ... and more. So when Friday the 13th rolls around, at our house we celebrate our ebony furkids because we feel so LUCKY to have them share their Nine Lives with us.