Dear Mister Ralph Fiennes

 

Dear Mister Ralph Fiennes,

First, concatulations on yoor success as an actor. I didn’t know who yoo were until my momma sat me down for a Ralph Fiennes mewvee marathon, but now I have a pretty good idea of what yoor all about.

I was calling yoo RAL-pfff FIE-ness until my mom corrected me and said yoo pronounced yoor name Raif. Raif Fines. I thought she was pulling my tail, so I checked Speech Modification on YouTube and sure enough, she was right.

I’m not asking yoo to change yoor name since you’ve been an actor a long time… longer than I’ve been alive… but maybe, when yoo are doing a new mewvee, yoo could turn to the camera when yoo first appear and introduce yoorself by slowly enunciating the correct way to say yoor name. This will avoid confusion for others like me.

Reasons Not to Adopt a Senior Cat

 

*tries to climb up on soapbox...can't because of arthritis in hips...pushes pet stairs against soapbox...climbs up to give speech* 

Ahem! May I haz your attention please! Senior kittehs make pawsome pets. Why you want a young frisky kitten who needs so much supervision? Seniors have experience. They don't need supervision. They need LOVE. And what's more...a rescued senior knows what life is like when he's not wanted. He can give you so much more LOVE then a spoiled little kitten because he appreciates you SAVING HIS LIFE! Think about it.

And another thing...

*sees a bug, forgets what he was saying... climbs off soapbox and wanders off to find a place to nap*

 

Here are our reasons why you don't want to adopt a senior cat.

A Juicy Interview with A Star Seller, A True President and A British Dame: Meet the Sisters of @Misty.s_World

Welcome evfurrybuddy to my newest feature here on It's a Wonderpurr Life - Intermews of a Lifetime. I'm yoor host, Adorapurr, but furends call me Dori and I consider yoo a furend. *wavy paws* 

I'm vewy excited for my first intermew to be with a truly wonderpurr group of ladies who are also sisfurs, each from diverse backgrounds, and highly accomplished in their fields. Please welcome Misty, Lisa and Sophie from Instagram's @Misty.s_World. 

 

DORI: Misty and Lisa, and Sophie, thank yoo so much for taking time away from yoor bizzy schedules to be interrogated... *everyone hears loud coughing off stage* I mean.... Intermewed on my new Tuesdays with Dori show, Intermews of a Lifetime. Misty, since yoor name is prominent on everything to do with yoor brand, I will start with yoo.

As CEO of Misty.s_World_Boutique are yoo legitimately taking wesponsibility for yoor company being a Star Seller on Etsy, or are yoo willing to confess *leans forward with anticipation* that yoor just the Face of the company like Flo at Pwogressive and do little more than lie around waiting for the next meal to be served?

An Adoption Controversy – Shelter vs Breeder

DORI: Welcome evfurrybuddy to our fourth episode of Kick the Litter, a brand-new feature here on It’s a Wonderpurr Life where members of the Wonderpurr Gang, comprised of cats from varying backgrounds, generations, and breeds, gather each week to mix humor with intelligent debate over Hot Topics that pertain to not only us, but to cats in general all over the world. 

I’m yoor host, Dori, and I will be today’s meowderator for today’s Hot Topic.

Adopting a Purebred Over a Shelter Kitty

DORI: Today’s Hot Topic really set fire under our tails, and not because it’s unseasonably warm here in FloryDa. Out of 100+ rescues our momma has only once adopted a purebred from a breeder. (Looks at Rabbit with disapproval).

RABBIT: What? It’s not my fault I’m a pricey pussycat. I didn’t ask to be born. Joining me in this severely one-sided debate is my big brofur Herman who is a mystery mix of Turkish Van and probably some kind of Purina breed.

Breaking News: Chicken Thief Lives Among Us

 

   

 Sorry my important nooz inpurrupted yoor programming. But when I discovered a chicken thief living in my very own kitchen, I felt it was my doody to alert the world.

Until Next Time...