Lost in Translation

Dear Frens, this is Dori. *wavy paws*. I hope this week has started off on a good foot for yoo, without the usual drama that accompanies Mondays. Purrsonally, I don't understand the growling over the first day of the work week, but then I've never worked a day in my life. 

In fact, I don't know the meaning of work. But that's another topic for another day. Today I feel I must address something I became aware of while eavesdropping on my pawrents over the weekend. 

To set the scene, I was draped over the sofa arm with my attention focused on Momma's dinner plate while Daddy sat a few cats down at the opposite end of the sofa, shoveling his food into his mouth as fast as he could while ChauncieMarie leaned heavily into him, hoping for a bite to fall into her mouth.

The Chubby Chonkers Club and How I Lost 3 Pounds with a Purrsonal Trainer

Hi evfurrybuddy, it's me Dori *wavy paws* with another episode of Tuesdays with Dori, plus all the joocy gossip I could find while prowling the inpurrnet.

This past week I ran into fellow reporter Latte, host of News with Latte, and she told me her pawrents have started calling her a Chonkers "Fun Size" while her sisfur Ellie Mae is a "full-size" Chonkers candy bar. According to Latte, their Momma Kat is either shooing Latte away from Ellie's plate, or chasing Ellie around with a plate to get her to eat. Clearly Ellie is very pawtikular about privacy while dining, as she doesn't like being stared at while she puts food into her mouth.

I ask yoo, what woman enjoys being watched while eating? When was the last time we saw video of  Jennifer Lopez horking a bowl of plain M&M's? Actually, I heard a rumor from my Hollyweird connections that J-Lo throws tantrums when hotel maids dare to give her peanut M&M's. 

The Worst Halloween Ever

October 31, 2010. The day my nightmare as a Cat Mom came true.

Up front let me say, I have gone around in circles on whether or not to post this, mostly because I have strived to publish nothing but happy cat humor across all my social media accounts. However, my experience as a cat rescuer sometimes hands me lessons that have sad endings, and yet they provide me with an insight on what to watch for with future rescues.

Kenny was one of those sad lessons that I continue to ache over, even twelve years later. This is his story.

Breaking News: Suspended without Notice

 

Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha

 

Dear Diary,

I try to make my dates fun with Baunila, my Portuguese girlfriend. Trouble is, like most girls, she gets all nervous when it comes to scary stuff.

I love scary stuff. I love to jump out at my sisfurs and make them scream with either fright or fury, though I still can't tell which cuz it all sounds the same. And I love to prowl the catio at night when flying predators are skulking about in the trees, swooping overhead like they might be hunting me.

Yah, that's a real tail-biter kind of feeling. Like I could become owl poop. Yow!

Jesse the Traveling Cat and Why I Wasn't Invited on Vacation

Hi evfurrybuddy, it's me Dori *wavy paws.* If yoo are reading this, I assume yoo have survived the weekend and the return of Monday with all it's despicable hekkishness. Purrsonally I am working on a serious letter to the gov'mint to abolish Mondays at the same time they kick Daylight Savings to the curb for once and for all.

So yoo may have noticed that I was virtually invisible last week to my social media frens. I am mortally wounded to the core of my little heart to be ignored, but my momma explained that she needed a bweak and unfortnately I was sacrificed along with her accounts and our IG Cattoon account.