Black Cat Diary of a Horrible Mornin'

Frens, dis be me, Jesse da Toofless Wonder. Nice to meet ya'll. Ah doan get much oppurrtoonitty to get off da kitchen counter an' socialize, but Ah had a rough mornin' an' so Ah'm takin' control of today's blog post.

It all started when ma Mama dragged me out of ma loft condo ‘n stuck me in a Bad Box. Bad Boxes only come out for visits to Doktor Feelgood. Affer a long drive in da car... Yup. That’s where Ah ended up.

While waitin’ ma Mama attacked ma claws with special clippurrs. Lemme tell ya, Frens, when you don’t have teef you gotta grow some pawerful murder mittens to protect yerself from ex-street thugs like Frank ‘n pretty lil scary grrrls like Dori (although she’s simmered down a lot and Ah’m not bothered about her no more.)

At home Ah’m verra determined not to give up even a small piece of ma claws - Ah eben put a formidable bitey on Mama once but she laughed ‘n said it tickled; so cruel to hear when Ah wuz being ferocious. Anyway, ma Mama be a sneaky Yankee grrrl ‘n quickly robbed me blind of ma claws while Ah was on da table tryin’ hard not to cry.

A Happy Accident

 

Greetings! This is Candy posting by accident on our family blog. Yes! Just moments ago I was on my momma's desk and rubbed against her desk window screen and guess what happened?

I created a new post!

Momma didn't realize her desk window screen is also a touch screen. And kitties like me can make it do stuff she doesn't necessarily want it to.

So this is a real eye opener for her.

I don't have my own social meowdia and sadly, I'm feeling left out. 

However, Momma now realizes she's in a pickle and it's her own fault. She has a lot of wonderpurr kitties, but the majority of us aren't known because we stay in the background of our popular fursibs Dori and Rabbit.

Momma is juggling too many Instagram and Facebook and Twitter accounts, plus a blog - I guess she's referring to this one - and she's also ghostwriting Rabbit's book, Diary of an AssRabbit. She's also playing Nurse to our seniors and other stuff... like dealing with summer heat, which she hates so much.

So I understand she's going to combine accounts in order to bring the rest of us out of hiding. I'm so excited! 

I guess while I've got your attention I would like to remind you to be aware of how the summer heat affects your fur babies. You would think by now hoomons would know better than to leave a fur in a hot car, even with a window cracked, and the hot pavement is torture on naked paws. And having lots of fresh water available is dire. We are drinking down big bowls every day. So those of you who have blogs and social meowdia accounts, please do your part by reminding everyone to think twice when they let their furs outside or take for a walk or ride in a car.

Momma has also started putting out a big bowl of iced water for the wild life. Her squirrels and a murder of crows are coming to our yard every day wanting water and also the leftover kibbles. We have a pond across the street but it has turtles and a small alligator, and frankly I doubt the squirrels from our yard go that far to get water. So having water in our yard is both appreciated and necessary.

Well, I'm so glad I got to say hello to you all, and hopefully I will get to say hello again soon. Now go off and enjoy your day!

Love, Candy

When Someone Gives You TMI, All You Can Do Is Turn Up The Volume

 

Hi evfurrybuddy. It's me, Dori. *wavy paws* I hope yoo enjoyed a wonderpurr weekend filled with adventure, relaxation and delicious noms that yoo normally don’t eat Monday through Friday. Like hot dogs.

On Caturday I wanted a hot dog while I watched sports on teevee with Daddy, but Momma told me No!

She said there’s not a lot of actual meat in hot dogs, even when it's listed as a top ingredient. They are mostly water and fat, with a tiny bit of meat in the traditional sense. The meat that is used is lower-grade and has been turned into sludge.

First Day of Summer Backyard Morning Rush Hour

Dear Diary...

Today is the First Day of Summer! We are getting hit by huge storms. Last night our two huge water bowls got flooded. Dadders emptied 30 buckets so today’s storms don’t flood our Catio.

As I watched morning rush hour pass by, Cornelius Crowbird stopped to catch me up on neighborhood gossip. He saw the big white poodle, Flagler, out for a stroll with his daddy, and the Woodstocks at the end of the block got a notice from the HOA to remove that giant peace sign off their front lawn as it offends one of the neighbors. Cornelius didn't say which neighbor, for fear of retaliation. I will pass along updates if there are any.

I also got a little wurk out in atop my ball spinner thingy. I've watched Candy and Frank gently paw the ball, but... Pffft! So lame when you can sit on it and spin that sukka like I do. So much more action!

And then Barbie deer stopped by to tell me she and her sisters were moving to higher ground because the severe storms have flooded the area where they usually sleep. This is Florida and higher ground - especially a mile from the ocean where we are - is probably a slight mound of grass-covered dirt. Still, she was pretty adamant about going, so I didn't bother to argue.

Are you getting storms at your house? Storms in Florida mean the start of hurricane season. I can’t wait! Last year Hurricane Ian stole our power for a couple of days and ripped a roof panel off our Catio. Immediately giant birds started circling overhead as though they were Forest Gump looking down at us cats like we were inside a box of chocolates. Dadders made a temporary cover for the missing screen that kept us safe until the repair dudes could fix it a month later.

Hurricane Nicole showed up on one of the final days of Hurricane season in November and devastated Daytona Beach down the road from us. People lost their homes from wind and flooding. It was very scary, but at my house we breezed through it without damage or losing power.

Here's hoping Hurricane Season 2023 is lame and a big o' failure.

And that's my report for today. Purrs, Rabbit

Cat Daddy's Day Celebration

Hi everyone, it's me Dori. *wavy paws* I wanted to check in with yoo to make sure yoo are doing well and the summertime hoomiditty hasn't melted yoor bwains. Yes, I know Summer doesn't offically start until next Wednesday, but here in FloryDa it has been hunkered down like a smelly ol' toad in our catio since April. In case yoo are wonderpurring, my bwains are nice 'n chill... like plump pink shwimps relaxing on a bed of ice chips. It's the Tabby Way to be chill during the worst of summer heat.

So, what have yoo been up to since we last meowed? Are yoo following the Yellowstone saga where Kevy Costner is definitely leaving and making everyone else in the cast lose their jobs? Or that Laramie and Walker are a couple in real life?

Diary of an AssRabbit - Regretful Monday

Anybuddy else having a Regretful Monday? Thinking that homegrown catnip I got off of Misty at @Misty.s_World was a bit more potent than I'm used to. Probably her Appalachian Mountain air adds a THC-ish kick we don't get here in Florida.

All I'm saying is... I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Amirite?

PeeEss - bet you checked @ShiteyKitteh's IG didn't you?